feminist blogs

Belle Waring was most unfairly picked on for her strong anger at the NY Times article that suggested that women have the responsibility in the middle of the pain of childbirth to consider that their more ungracious pain and humiliation might be unsexy to their menfolk. She comes out swinging.

An article appears in the New York Times which gives rather solemn advice to men that, in the event they find themselves in the grip of a serious gastro-entereological infection, they not seek the help of their long term sex partner. It is a sad fact of this life that every once in a while people find themselves virulently ill; so sick that they are barely able to crawl to the bathroom to vomit; so sick that when they do so they find themselves uncontrollably voiding themselves out both ends on the cool porcelain tiles. But since there are some women who till never want to have sex with their partners again after they see them looking all poopy and have to clean up the bathroom, it might be wise for men to consider hiring a private nurse, calling on a parent or friend during this time, or just toughing it out, sending their lover to a bar while they retch and faint with the formula 409 until all has been restored to cleanliness. [Note that the pregnant woman who decides on her own nickel to spare her husband any potential unpleasantness will employ one of these alternatives as well: hire a doula, ask her mom or friend to be there, or suffer on her own with no one to hold her hand or speak for her to the medical team.] Not to say that all women will react this way, but since it's hard to tell ahead of time, and since the men who ask their partners to put a bucket by the bed for them to puke into may be risking the long-term sexual health of their relationships, then maybe they should take steps to avoid the whole problem by working out some such plans in advance. Also, since societal pressure on women to take care of ther sick partners is so strong, the men won't be able to trust their partners' claims of willingness; they will have to take it upon themselves to fix the problem without reference to her stated desires.

I hate to say this, but BURN! And, as Belle points out, this counter-example, to truly be a good analogy, would have to have the woman deliberately getting her husband this sick. (With his consent, of course.) But I'm more interested in what she says next.

Also, I neglected to mention this before, but, do any of my male readers have any idea how often women are advised to have sex sometimes even when they don't particularly feel like it, for the health of a long term relationship? Like, every single time the subject of sex comes up? Please just go read a few Cosmo "How To Keep The Spice Burning" articles and get back to me, OK? See? Now, here's the thing that's crazy: that's actually pretty good advice, if it applies to BOTH PARTIES in a straight or gay relationship. I'm not talking about some abusive, or un-dead vampire-type fatally flawed relationship; I'm talking about an ordinary, loving, long-term relationship in which the fires of your initial coming together (/Nelson Muntz) have cooled to the lower but more lasting temperatures of love. Why do I say this? Well, because if your partner is horny and you're not, it's just a loving thing to do to have sex with them. Also, sex is actually pretty fun, and even if you thought you didn't want to have sex right then, it's likely that 5 minutes later you'll be like "why did I think I didn't want to have sex? Teh sex r0x0rz!" However, this applies to guys too. If you really love somebody, you'll be able to make the effort. Have these guys never heard of fantasizing about Angelina Jolie going down on Scarlett Johansson? Did the possibility of looking at some porn first not cross their minds? Fake it till it's real is not stupid advice in the world of sex. If you knocked the chick up, suck it up. Have sex enough times without bloody babies suddenly emerging from her vagina and the bad images will be replaced by good ones. Problem solved! Advantage: blogosphere.

Pet peeve of mine. One of the most enduring stereotypes that makes me nuts is that men have enormous sex drives and that women fuck mostly out of duty. And that therefore, it's women who always have "headaches" and men who find themselves either cheating or going wanting, hanging around the house with hangdog expressions. Belle's right--magazines do implore women to have sex when they aren't in the mood, in no small part so as not to give your partner reason to complain about what a stereotypical headache-having woman he's got with. And the solution for the readers on what to do if you want it and he doesn't? "Top 50 Ways to Make Him Want You Bad".

I'm the first to admit I'm neurotic. But these messages have always driven me batshit crazy. Read between the lines--men are humpy horndogs who want it all the time and so if you are in a position of trying to seduce him, you need 50 ways to get his attention because clearly you are dogshit ugly and no man could want you. Men are indiscriminately horny but you ma'am must bust your ass to get and keep his attention. It's enough to drive anyway insane. (Solution: Get into cooking and/or gardening so that you find yourself leafing through other magazines at the checkout stand.)

But yeah, by far the most mind-boggling obvious bit of male dominance bullshit that people routinely swallow is that men are both so horny they will fuck anything, including a hole in the wall, and yet their sexual desire is so fragile that women must never, ever, do anything to puncture the elaborate male illusions that we don't have body functions. And of course, that means if a woman has no desire it's her fault and if her man has no desire, it's her fault. That's where articles like the NY Times and the Slate one come from.

Some people claim that peace activists endanger our troops. I say peaceniks don't kill soldiers, the enemy does. And they're killing our soldiers in Iraq because we're there, without a clear mission, without much success, without much support. How much longer shall we throw our young men and women into harm's way?

"Until it's done," you say?

Until what is done?

Not that many today, actually. But I do feel a tad overwhelmed by the amount of shit going on out there. Anyway, Charles Kuffner provides more information on the whole thing about abortion doctors in Texas. Watching the Texas Lege try to put together anything resembling lucid legislation is like watching a monkey fuck a football.

The other big news is the FDA's lies about their supposed concerns about the safety of the morning-after pill are getting harder to maintain. Today a senior member of the FDA resigned in protest of the bullshit decision to delay the approval of the morning-after pill. Can't say I blame her. This entire fiasco has been the dictionary definition of not doing your job correctly. I can think of a number of times I've had jobs where I wish I could get away with what the ideologues at the FDA get away with. Like in the sub shop--"Sorry sir, I can't make your sandwich. You haven't conclusively proven to me that it won't give you a tummy-ache."

I'm taking a break from my food and political blogging to bring you Ghost Hunting Wednesday. I like doing this. It's lots of fun. Everyone knows I'm a skeptic, but I like ghost stories. I have liked them since I was a child. They appeal to the folklorist in me. I like the history that comes out in a lot of ghost stories. Plus, I think that ghost stories, especially ghost stories revolving around urban legends, reveal a lot about what makes people tick.

I'm watching "Ghost Hunters" on Sci-Fi. The Atlantic Paranormal Society (TAPS) is going to investigate another haunted lighthouse - Ledge Light. They investigated one during the first season. Lighthouse keepers would hear noises on the second floor of the lighthouse that they couldn't explain. The story is that a lighthouse keeper haunts the lighthouse after throwing himself off of the top of it. Two of the guys found a cold spot in "Ernie's Room", but it's hard to tell exactly what it could be. Some Japanese students claim to have had objects thrown at them in "Ernie's Room", but Jason (one of the TAPS leader) noted that no one else has reported anything remotely close to that, so he wondered if the story was a hoax. Jason thinks the lighthouse is more lore than fact. I agree with him.

Next, the TAPS folks went to the Merchant's House Museum in New York City. The house was built in 1832. There were seven funerals in the house. Some have reported hearing the piano playing when no one was sitting at it. A chandelier and a cast-iron stove shake. A figure of a woman in 19th century garb has been seen at the end of the hall on the second floor. She may have been Gertude Elizabeth Tredwell. Cold spots. A reporter was pushed from behind.

Oh, my God! The guys were robbed right on the street! Some guy ran off with a case of their equipment. The guy dropped the case and kept on running. At least the guys got their case back, which was what mattered.

Welcome to New York.

It turns out that the chandelier moving could have been caused by someone walking on the floor above. They didn't detect anything else on their equipment. The two investigations this time were a bust, but it was still enjoyable watching the show.

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Here are some fun links:

Did you think that only houses were haunted? Here are some chilling tales from a haunted airplane.

Due to the success of summer shows "Lost" and "Medium", there will be a lot of spooky new shows on TV this fall. I'll probably check out all of them, but "Threshold" sounds like it will appeal to me the most. I've seen some ads for it, and it caught my attention.

Last week, I posted a picture of the ghost on the Tulip Staircase. This week, I'm posting another one of my favorite purported ghost photographs - the Brown Lady of Raynham Hall. I've known about this one since I was a kid.

Here is the Brown Lady:

A little levity towards the beauty myth for y'all.

This is an American Apparel parody Jake sent me. You can see the full-sized version here.

And from Brutal Women, this take on the now-infamous Dove ads.

This little bit of news is met by me with both approval and sadness. It seems that FDA official, Susan Wood, director of FDA's Office of Women's Health has resigned after the FDA decision on Friday to postpone the decision to make Plan B an over the counter drug indefinitely.

CNN reports that in her letter of resignation, Wood wrote;

"I can no longer serve as staff when scientific and clinical evidence, fully evaluated and recommended for approval by the professional staff here, has been overruled," wrote Wood, who also was assistant commissioner for women's health. "The recent decision announced by the Commissioner about emergency contraception, which continues to limit women's access to a product that would reduce unintended pregnancies and reduce abortions, is contrary to my core commitment to improving and advancing women's health."

So for obvious reasons, it's very sad to see an ally that potentially had pull within the lions den deciding to give up the fight, but on the other hand I can understand and appreciate her frustration in the face of continuously mounting opposition within the FDA via ultra-conservatives and fundamentalists being appointed to key roles.

Commissioner Lester tried to soft-pedal his objections, in an obvious attempt at pacifying people for the ignorant decision;

the agency considered over-the-counter sales to women 17 and older fine, but that younger teens would still need a prescription — and that the agency was unable to decide how pharmacies could enforce an age limit, or even if it was legal to have such dual sales.

Some features will disappear for a short while as I do some website maintenance. I'll update this post when all is back online. Thanks.

[Update: Anonymous commenting is now enabled, albeit with moderation for now. Once the new spam filter is well trained (which could be soon, as it handled its first spam comment within 15 minutes of activation), the default moderation can be switched off. With easier commenting, I hope more folks will feel free to share here.]

A colleague of mine from New Orleans' Gambit Weekly wonders about the future of America's 35th largest city. Read Michael Tisserand's Submerged.