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Happy Tuesday, fangbangers. With the penultimate episode of this season now under our belts, Sally and Thomas and I get together to discuss the latest from the hellmouth at Bontemps.

Season Three is almost over, but dry your bleeds, kids. You know we love you more when you’re cold and heartless.

Highlights?

LAUREN: PAM FTW. Pam calling Bill an infatuated tween. Pam spraying Bill in the face with colloidal silver. Also the Emmy-style tribute to those who met the “true death” on the show, including Gram, Franklin, Eggs, and “Vikings.”

THOMAS: Eric’s human companion refused to be summarily cut loose, and Pam probably shouldn’t have insulted her. I suspect Eric was … less than clear about the terms of their relationship. Good for her.

SALLY: Jessica and Hoyt. That is all. Oh, and Pam. Oh, and Sam and Tara.

After tricking Russell into drinking Sookie’s diluted fairy blood and going out into the sunlight, Eric’s plan to take down Russell Edgington appears to have done in Eric himself. While Eric said his goodbyes to Pam and Sookie and proceeded with his suicide mission, Sookie is left for dead — again — and Bill whines about Sookie’s well-being — again.

THOMAS: Sookie said flat-out that she would be a fool to trust either Bill or Eric again, immediately after Eric showed her that was true, and immediately before Bill did the same. She’ll end up trusting both of them again, but at some level she knows she’s playing a sucker’s game. Eric has the courage of his convictions; he’s not kind to anyone, even those he loves the most, but he is loyal to them, even willing to give his own life if that’s what it takes to fix the mess he made. He won’t die; they can’t lose the most popular character on the show immediately after the Rolling Stone cover. But he doesn’t know that.

LAUREN: I’m tired of Sookie being relegated to a passive character when she — her story, her history, her literal blood — is the center of the show. The only real power that she has is the power to reject a lover, or so you’d think after Season Three.

SALLY: Yeah, I can’t understand why they bother with the level-headed “I won’t trust again” thing if we all know that won’t be the case. It makes her character rather boring, so I don’t see how this is a good strategy at all.

LAUREN: It really is boring, and it’s a letdown for the audience to pin their good feelings on this character just to have her manipulated by forces largely outside of her control. Right now her role in the story is to be an available bag of blood while a bunch of high-powered vampires enact their revenge fantasies on one another.

Thumbs down to the Rolling Stone cover, by the way. With an ensemble cast like this, they settle for this awkward, blood-spattered menage a trois? No offense to Alexander Skarsgaard or anything, but this love triangle is the least interesting facet of the show. Boo to RS’s creative team.

THOMAS: Cheap, obvious, conventional.

SALLY: I too found it cheap and obvious, but their hotness was still kind of awesome. I didn’t find it particularly provocative though, so I thought it was surprising that people took it that way. We’ve seen much more interesting stuff than that on the show, so they’ll need to work harder to get a rise out of fans.

LAUREN: So, one might say that the RS cover lacked teeth? Har har.

Wiccan Holly performed an herbal abortion on Arlene this week, and after a false alarm, it appears the abortion didn’t “take.” Arlene is horrified that she is giving birth to a serial killer’s baby, while her boyfriend Terry is overjoyed at becoming a father. It isn’t often that we see abortions handled this way on television — or at all. What do we think about this scene?

THOMAS: Is it cynical of me to believe this whole thing was a long way around to avoid a surgical abortion, either because it remains such a taboo, or because it would be harder for the audience to buy some magical superfetus-survives story with modern medicine than a magical ritual, or both? Also, is Arlene wrong, or will Rene’s evil be reborn?

SALLY: At this point, they’ve set this up so much that the baby kind of has to be evil, no? Otherwise, Arlene’s instincts are wrong and she’s just the horrible character that tried to kill her wonderfully pure baby. I wouldn’t like that. Like, at all.

LAUREN: Maybe I’ve seen too many zombie movies, but you can’t beat the creepiness of a glowy-eyed evil baby.

SALLY: Nothing beats creepy kids or evil babies. Nothing.

LAUREN: The rule of onscreen pregnancies, though, is that there has to be a point to the pregnancy to include it in the story. A completed pregnancy means a baby story, preferably a glow-eyed evil baby story, whereas an aborted pregnancy means a show generally has to take a hard political stance on abortion, a stance that most shows don’t have the ovaries to take. What True Blood did in this episode that does make a more nuanced political point was having Arlene, the self-righteous bigot, claim outright that abortion is bad as she’s having one while appealing to God as she does it. A female god. Was it a cop-out? I would argue not because of the way Arlene was given agency to feel and act as she wished. It was less a condemnation of her hypocrisy, which would have been legitimate by itself (but preachy), and more an acknowledgment that unplanned pregnancy is politically complicated and emotionally messy. Humanizing women’s fears and desires is a good thing.

Lafayette is getting hints that things with Jesus might be heading down a dangerous road. Don’t mix V with magic?

LAUREN: Lafayette’s hallucinations are a pretty good sign that Alfre Woodard is going to get more screen time here in the near future. Either LaLa is checking into a mental hospital or we’re going to discover that his mother isn’t a madwoman, she’s a shaman too.

THOMAS: First I thought Lafayette was a danger to Jesus and he was going to have to do a lot of work to make his life safe for a good man to share. Now it looks like it’s the other way around. Jesus has brought some scary elements into the mix and he’s going to have to be careful not to bring Lafayette more pain than peace. But hey, anything that gives Ruby Jean more screen time. Can she cast out the demon that is Tara’s mom?

SALLY: This was an interesting turn in the story and kind of goes with my whole “don’t trust Jesus” thing this entire season. He gives me the creepy creeps and it seems that at this point, he’s definitely supposed to. I definitely do hope this means that Alfre Woodard will be a more prominent figure and it certainly would be interesting given how her mental illness has been treated this season.

LAUREN: And as skeptical as I was of this storyline last week, I will admit that the quick flash to Jesus’ glowing painted face made me jump out the couch.

SALLY: That was so scary! I did not expect that!

LAUREN: Jesus may be good now, but the V is going to do a number on him and on his relationship with Lafayette. I wonder, even, if they could end up as rivals, or whether Lafayette is going to have to take Jesus down.

Jessica reveals to Hoyt that she is a vampire that drinks human, not synthetic, blood and that she murdered an anonymous trucker in her recent past. Hoyt seems to be okay with this revelation, and allows Jessica to feed on him, a dark turn for what has been a lively romance to date. In the meantime, Hoyt’s mama is trying to bait Hoyt into a relationship with Summer.

THOMAS: Hoyt’s evil shit of a mother will try to kill Jessica. It will not work, but she will harm Summer or Hoyt in the process. It’s not inconceivable to me that we’ll watch Hoyt die. That would make me sad, and would drive Jessica into an amoral dark night of the soul that could last a while and have a significant body count next season. Or not, in which case it will finally cement Hoyt and Jessica, possibly with her turning him.

SALLY: Hoyt’s mother annoys the crap out of me. She deserves whatever is coming her way.

LAUREN: I dig a vampire Hoyt. He and Jessica would made a formidable team. Their first act should be an organized takedown of Hoyt’s mean, overbearing mother.

SALLY: I totally back this! It would certainly make his character a bit more interesting, he needs some oomph, no?

THOMAS: Hoyt offering himself for Jessica to feed? Hot. What was the last mainstream media portrayal of m/f sexual submission as both masculine and proud that you can think of? Yeah, I’ll get back to you on that.

After Jason sicced the DEA on Hot Shot for their drug violations, Crystal convinces Jason to go back with her to save Hot Shot from a Waco-style resistance. Jason thinks he’s a hot shot himself, but this time he’s up against a bunch of were-panthers.

THOMAS: Could they possibly have done more to make the Hot Shot population loathsome: incest, drug-dealing, domestic violence, dogfighting … some folks wondered last week why the werepanthers were white; I think it’s because if they have made the Hot Shot werepanthers people of color, all the other things they’ve done to heap execration on that community would have been racist. But then, the result is a fucked up heap of propaganda against rural Southern white poor folks. Also, Jason’s career as a cop ends in a fiasco next episode.

SALLY: If it was possible for Jason’s character to annoy me more, he certainly did it with this episode. I still have no idea why he’s so in love with Crystal, and I don’t understand why he does anything he does, really. I guess I should be happy when it’s motivated by a woman, because at least then there’s a (stupid, stereotypical) reason, but yeah no. Not digging Jason. There was hope for him after last season, but he’s quickly become my least favorite character on the show.

LAUREN: I’m annoyed that Crystal can both be doing everything within her power to get away from these people, and doing everything within her power to save these people AT THE SAME TIME. We don’t know enough about Crystal, Hot Shot, or were-panthers to give a shit. If it’s not adding to the story, it’s taking away from the more worthwhile parts of the story.

On a side note, Jason also finds out that everyone in Bontemps appears to be on V.

LAUREN: I’m amused that Jason’s moral righteousness is offended by the revelation that everyone and their mother is on V. V is like the ultimate ur-drug, you think better, throw better, and fuck better when you’re on it, and nobody can seem to say no to V once they’ve had it. Even baby-faced Hoyt and just-say-no Jesus feel like better men when they’re on it. It’s like all the “positive” effects of cocaine, Viagra, steroids and LSD are all in one.

THOMAS: You say moral righteousness, I say fast-fading football glory. Jason is a failure in every sense of the word. He’s not even funny. If the writers can’t think of something to do with his sorry ass, can they trade the character to Showtime for a recurring role in Weeds, where inept and useless characters don’t stand out so much?

LAUREN: *snort* Yeah, Jason and Uncle Andy would make a dynamic pair if Jason was bright enough to get Andy’s jokes. Which he’s not. /weedsreferences

SALLY: I agree, I think it was a lot more “my record will be ruined” than actual moral concern. File this under Jason annoyance mentioned above.

Sam’s guilty conscience catches up with him and he’s tired of pretending to be a nice, helpful, untroubled guy when he’s actually feeling angry and ashamed at his life’s lot. In turn he alienates everyone who loves him, except Tara. Tara calls out Andy Bellefleur’s plot to cover up Eggs’ murder, and cries at Eggs’ grave. Then Sam and Tara bone. What?

SALLY: Sam and Taraaaaaa! I’ve been waiting for this because all of their tension is awesome and I thought it was going to happen earlier in the season when Tara was hanging with Sam all on the verge of a breakdown. Sam and Taraaa! Tara and Saaaaam!

THOMAS: The downside of Sam being passive-aggressive is that it tends to build up pressure that explodes, often immediately upon contact with a disinhibitor, like a quart of whiskey. And that can be a lot tougher to fix that letting it out a bit at a time. The harm to his relationship with Tommy cannot be fixed, and will reverberate through the rest of the show. For all his rebelliousness, Tommy put his trust in Sam in a way he never will have the capacity to do again. Terry and Arlene are grown-ups and will put this in context and move on even if they don’t entirely forgive it, and maybe Holly will, too. Tommy won’t.

I do love the Sam/Tara relationship. They’re good for each other because they think they’re bad for each other. They expect so little that when it’s anything but a complete disaster they both feel a little more okay.

LAUREN: I enjoy the Sam and Tara relationship too. Sure, it’s not going to lead to a lasting romance, but it does satisfy their desire for belonging and camaraderie and comfort, and the chemistry between the characters is easy but deep.

My beef is primarily with the writing that has both Sam and Tara whipping around between high and low, victim and victimizer, do-gooder and drunk. Their roles change from week to week. This season has Tara trying to make out with anyone that looks at her to get through her grief, but the handling of her coping is so meat-handed that she looks heartless and horny rather than emotionally empty and desperate, or even sympathetic. Sam, who has mostly been an easy-going and level-headed character, an anti-Bill if you will, is suddenly revealed to be a slimy jewel thief? And you know he’s a bad guy because of the hair grease. Really? A lolsob if there ever was one.

At this point last season we were ramping up to a demonic orgy that, at the very least, held some narrative tension. In this season we’re still muddling around in infodumps and dream sequences and make-out scenes. This is the penultimate episode. Where is my excitement?

In an interview with the NYTimes, Katy Perry elaborates on what she imagines her gospel-aspiring, squeaky fifteen-year-old self would say to her camp persona today:

“I think the 15-year-old me would be excited and flabbergasted,” Ms. Perry said, “and also say, ‘Put on some clothes.’ ”

I think my fifteen-year-old self would look at me now and be horrified that I look exactly like my sisters (which isn’t a bad thing, IMO) and wonder how I can stomach making out with a guy with a beard (a guy who also happens to be the guy I dated when I was fifteen, long story, eat it, mom).

Thirty-year-old me would tell her that the baby barrettes and flannel look kind of gauche.

(via)

Greetings, fangbangers. As per usual, Sally, Thomas, and I weigh in on Sunday’s episode below the cut, where there are spoilers, recriminations, and much discussion of eye candy.

And now for the weather. Tiffany?

TRIGGER WARNING: This recap includes discussion of rape and violence against women.

Sookie and Bill are back together. Again. Sookie calls Bill out on his creepy, spying ways, and Bill is mostly able to convince her that he’s on the up-and-up. In the meantime, he is surprised to find himself bathed in sunlight at Claudine’s, where Claudine accuses Bill of drinking all of Sookie’s blood, and Bill is able to convince Claudine to tell him what kind of supe Sookie is. Cliffhanger!

SALLY: I was disappointed that their break-up lasted less than a day and just the next day her only “you’re a creepy creeper” moment lasts just a few minutes. Why couldn’t they have at least held out more than an episode? They would’ve had that complicated sex scene and then after an episode or two, she could think deeply about everything and then reconcile.

But the cliffhanger! That was way cooler! I’m still a bit confused at how Bill ended up in dreamland, but if Claudine told him about Sookie, then that’s a nice little turn of events there.

THOMAS: Sookie said what I most wanted her to say: that to protect her, Bill has to treat her as an adult and tell her what’s going on, instead of hiding things from her and treating her like a child. I agree that they have resolved the issue way too quickly. However, I don’t believe Bill for a second, and lying to her right after she gives the big speech about being honest and telling her what’s going on should be fatal to their relationship. I suspect it won’t be, in part because the show wants to keep Paquin and Moyer together due to their offscreen relationship, but for the show it should be.

LAUREN: I actually just died of boredom.

As Russell Edgington rallies against assimilation, saying that humans and vampires are no equals, Nan Flanagan and The Authority give Eric permission to have his revenge against Russell, as long as he dispatches his plans quickly, quietly, and under the human radar, lest this ruin their chances at achieving the Vampire Rights Amendment. Russell has no plans of giving up his crusade to turn a world of humans into an all-you-can-eat vamp buffet, or of keeping his plans private. Eric, meanwhile, has to figure out how to best a vampire who has 2,000 years of strength and experience over his own.

LAUREN: Also, the Authority’s police force looks like a bad Robocop remake. The Robocop costumes are all I can remember of this episode after seeing Russell conduct a national newscast with an anchorman’s spine in his hand, declaring himself “the true face of vampires!”

SALLY: Those Robocops were awesome. I kept hoping they’d do more fancy, robotic moves, or perhaps break into a choreographed dance number or something.

THOMAS: Given my character preferences, this was a nearly perfect episode for me. The only thing was, as the end neared, I was thinking that there were not any surprises. Then Russell pulled a guy’s spine out on live TV. I was surprised.

Russell is courtly and loathsome. I think the show has been playing with imagery of the antebellum South and the horrors of slavery to set up a subtle message that Russell is worse that we could possibly imagine in all the ways that we should loathe the antebellum South. You’ve discussed that before, and I didn’t much like it; I thought those were fucked up images to let pass without commentary. But they finally sprung it, and whatever one thinks about how it was handled, it wasn’t an accident. Russell addressing the camera was mean to be indistinguishable from a slaveholding, plantation-owning advocate of succession. The parallel is really muddled and perhaps ill-considered, but it’s not accidental.

LAUREN: That is a wonderful observation, Thomas. It’s one of those nasty parts of American history that gets glossed over and cleaned up because it’s more fun to imagine the wealth and grandeur and manners of the Old South than it is to face the brutality, torture, and vast power differentials that propped up the facade. Russell is a charming character in that he is wealthy, mannered, educated, and worldly, just like we imagine the upper crust of the antebellum period. But when the way they gained their wealth was exploiting the bodies of a class of people — as Russell desires to do — and denying them their humanity by advocating their inability to live according to the standards of the ruling class, it ain’t so effing romantic. I agree it’s an awkward metaphor, but it is a good move in my opinion to reveal the mannered gentleman as a monster. The catch is that Russell’s screed against humanity will strike a positive nerve with many folks in the audience who have knee-jerk reactions against yuppie cultural markers.

THOMAS: I do have a plot question, though. Eric implied last season that Godric was the most powerful vampire in the Americas, and I understood Godric to be about 2000 years old and a human contemporary of Jesus Christ. Russell is over a thousand years older. Eric didn’t say Godric was the oldest, and perhaps he meant that Godric was more powerful or more respected. Or perhaps Russell was in Europe at the time, though it seems this season that Russell has been King of Mississippi for a long time. The two are not necessarily inconsistent, but they appear to be inconsistent. Is it a continuity error?

LAUREN: Eric said something in this episode that kind of cleared that up, in that he said he thought Russell had met “the true death” some years ago. Thus since Eric didn’t know about Russell, we didn’t know about Russell, and so forth.

Now, we can’t go on without discussing Russell carrying around — and talking to! — his beloved’s guts in a crystal urn. IT LOOKED LIKE AMBROSIA SALAD. I’ve been mooney-eyed about this character all season, and truly, Russell Edgington is the best villain committed to the small screen I’ve seen in a long time.

THOMAS: Say what you want about Russell, but he loved Talbot. Say what you want about Eric, but after staking Talbot, when he was questioned, he owned it.

SALLY: Russell is magical, he’s simply too hilarious for words. I loved how he turned the urn when showing Dead BF the Robocops, because, OF COURSE, that’s where his face was! DUH! As for his actual speech and world domination plans, that had to be one of the best True Blood moments ever. Especially when he licked the blood.

But poor Eric has quite the task, doesn’t he? I hope it all works out okay and there’s no need for too much more ambrosia salad. The nice moment between Eric and Pam had me a bit worried that she might die before the season ends, but that’s mostly paranoia given what this show has put me through.

THOMAS: Russell made a huge tactical mistake. Eric got what he wanted, a free pass to kill Russell. But as Eric understood, he was at a huge disadvantage. When Russell scuttled the VRA on purpose, he badly misplayed his hand. Instead of a one-on-one with a weaker, isolated Eric with the Authority holding the ring, now he’s made enemies of everyone who is anyone and Eric probably gets support from the Authority, of from powerful members thereof. Also, this all saves Sophie Ann’s ass, though how is not clear. I suspect she actually survives.

LAUREN: To be determined, definitely. There primary thing about this storyline that I have enjoyed this season is that We The Audience have had to commit to the exploration of what the world would really look like if vampires lived among us, and it’s not all blood, guts, and sexy time. This exploration of power dynamics in vampire world, and how the vampires’ institutional powers are as clumsy and corrupt as ours can be, has been contrasted by various human reactions to vampires, from intrigue to cultural tourism to bigotry to fundamentalism.

It’s interesting to me to see how the show tries to pull together all these elements with some success and some failure. Ultimately I think the show’s legacy is dependent on the show carrying on a larger theme and storyline that will carry though the life of the show — one that has NOTHING TO DO WITH SOOKIE AND BILL’S ROMANCE — and whether the show will start to dig into these cultural hot spots that it is so fond of. If they can’t figure out how to tell a story without peeping into Paquin and Moyer’s bedroom, and without committing to this social justice story that it keeps hinting at, this is just another throwaway popcorn show.

Tara is learning how to deal with the trauma of Franklin’s violence against her, and begins attending a recovery group for women who have experienced sexual violence. Tara struggles with learning how to trust people again, and is conflicted about her relationships with Lafayette, Sookie, Jason, and others. We also learn that Holly, the new waitress at Merlotte’s, is part of this recovery group.

THOMAS: Three cheers for Tara, and three cheers for the writers for dealing with Tara’s experiences as rape. She was kidnapped and raped by a sociopath. She knows she can’t just open up to those closest to her, but for all her dismissal, she figured out that working through it will people she doesn’t have so much history with is exactly what she needs to do, and she is doing it. When Franklin came back, she almost died but she never cowered. She found something in herself, and it won’t leave her. When I saw that it was Jason who saved her, though, I knew exactly what was in that shotgun, and I thought, “noooooooooooooo!” Tara’s crush on Jason is going to come rushing back, and there’s nothing they will do with that that I am remotely interested in. Worst development in the season, from my perspective.

SALLY: I was already worried about that when she saw him talking to Crystal and got a “hey, I used to love him” look in her eye. Do not want.

LAUREN: It’s interesting to me that we had two mentions of rape in this episode, one where the show is brave enough to label Tara’s rape and kidnapping as such, but then punctuates this with Crystal false accusations of rape and kidnapping against Jason.

THOMAS: I understand Crystal’s conflict; all her options have fallout in multiple directions and it’s neither easy to forsee it nor to live with it. She’s not on a path at all, she’s just dodging trees at very high speed. This can’t end well, we just don’t know how bad yet.

SALLY: I also noticed this and was impressed that they called attention to Tara’s rape multiple times. It was more than I expected of them. Her encounter with Franklin was a really strong moment for Tara, and seeing her stand up to somebody again after what she’s been through this season was the highlight of the episode.

LAUREN: I’m conflicted with how Franklin was handled. He was a fun character, briefly, because of the good work of the actor and some silly writing, but the silliness relied on us not taking the rape and kidnapping of Tara seriously. I kept waiting for some wacky one-liner to bubble up on Sunday, but it didn’t. Which was good. But still.

SALLY: I’m happy that Holly is helping everyone, but something about her seems off. Now, that could be because almost every nice person in this show turns out to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but I just thought I’d throw that out there.

THOMAS: Sally, I am so with you on that. What is it about Holly? I feel like her severe features are supposed to be a tipoff about her, and like Merlotte’s can’t just hire a waitress who is normal. I feel, as a viewer, like I’m being set up.

We are reintroduced to sex-crazed, dishonest Tommy, who is back to backtalking Sam and stealing from Arlene at the bar after briefly being kind and vulnerable. He continues to stick up for Jessica, whose relationship with Hoyt is still stricken and unresolved. Meanwhile Sam has a violent and uncontrolled outburst at the bar that puts Crystal’s father in the hospital.

THOMAS: When Sam beat up Crystal’s father, I cheered. The scene somewhat paralleled the one in Fight Club where Tyler beats Jared Leto’s character’s face into pulp, and the whole crowd thought it was overboard, except for Tommy. Except for Tommy, and me. Call me a big meanie, I think that if an abusive father comes to collect his daughter by force and make her go through with an arranged marriage, he deserves to get beat into a coma. They had threatened Sam in his own place before.

SALLY: These storylines are boring me. Aside from the cute moment between Hoyt and Jessica, I found myself not caring what happens to these people. I think these plot points are taking too long to connect with each other or were boring for one too many episodes.

THOMAS: I love Sam, but he mishandled Tommy’s loud party. He came off as a scolding parent when he could have just said, “Tommy, it’s great to see you having a good time, but I rent to the folks next door and if you have the music up and make a racket while their kids are trying to sleep you’re making a problem for me. Have fun, but keep it down.” Tommy’s capable of reacting to anything like an asshole, of course, but that provides him a lot less fuel. However, and maybe because I like Sam and I sympathize with Tommy, I am in no way bored.

SALLY: I can certainly agree about Sam, especially since he was already coming off as old party-pooper before. Even worse, though, was him letting himself get worked up because of what Tommy said to him. I guess it’s good for him to finally let his aggression out, but he really should have thought all of that out.

LAUREN: I’ve got to see this act as something else, but what I don’t know. Is Sam mourning the second loss of his parents? Does he miss Tara? Is he just pissed about Tommy and these abusive dickheads telling him what to do in his own bar? I don’t know, because the character isn’t getting fleshed out. He’s just out there floundering while season guest stars happen to him over and over.

Lafayette and Jesus continue to be adorable. Do we want them to have narrative drama, or are we content with them indefinitely being adorable?

SALLY: I’m sure at some point I’ll want more, but I’m really enjoying the lack of drama at the moment. I think the chaos and bad news all over the place is becoming too much. For example, the very small but sweet moment when Tara told Lafayette she was happy for him put a huge smile on my face.

THOMAS: Alfre Woodard is a master of her craft. Watching her work is just a joy. Ruby Jean is so layered and so interesting, and it provides a great look at what is below the surface of Lafayette.

LAUREN: She really is. I think it’s a dangerous spot to be in, playing Crazy Black Lady on a show with so much racefail, but Woodard is able to build a full character with so little. It is truly a joy to have her on the show. If she isn’t able to take on more presence they are wasting her talent.

It seems Nan Flanagan’s preferred snack is also attractive young women. Just female bodies for display, or part of he vampire world?

THOMAS: The woman-on-woman sex and biting seems cheap. If they want to show Pam getting down with a woman I’ll watch as much as they’ll show me. But it seems like there isn’t a powerful woman vampire on the show who doesn’t log airtime with her fangs in a skinny, conventionally attractive naked woman. Obviously the show is less shy than any since maybe Oz about man-on-man sex, so it seems more balanced than it otherwise might, and the show revolves around providing fantasy fuel in various combinations. Perhaps the writers are making an argument for inherent vampire bisexuality, but Sophie Ann and Pam appear to have favored females as partners mostly or exclusively for a long time; and Bill female partners, which would be counterexamples. Do vamps have a sexual orientation? If so, why are all the women queer but only a few of the men?

LAUREN: Yeah, I’m a little confused by the sexual dynamics of vampires. To date, bisexuality has been used as a way to denote sexual sophistication. “Bisexuality” doesn’t even seem like the right term. Perhaps “pansexual”. Ha, or “Dionysian.”

There are only three episodes left in the season, and a lot of storylines to resolve. Predictions?

SALLY: Well, I’m assuming Sam and Tommy are going to need to fight Crystal’s family. Jessica and Hoyt will need to get back together before the season ends, or at least kiss again or something.

LAUREN: Either Sam and Tommy are going to fight Crystal’s family, or Sam and Tommy are going to be key to fighting the werewolves. Alcide can’t be gone yet either. Eric and Pam will be amazing, but I fear Pam will get staked before the season ends. Russell can’t, or shouldn’t, just be a monster of the season since this is a story that could easily go on for several.

THOMAS: It looks like Hoyt and Summer are about done, which is about right. She’s annoying enough to make a play for Jason next, which would be like a Gojira versus Mothra of annoying. Hoyt and Jessica belong together. Jessica was made so young that she hadn’t really learned to be a person, and now she hasn’t really learned to be a vampire, so it’s a steep curve for her. But she and Hoyt have been through a lot and they both have had to relearn much of their lives from scratch recently, and I think they’re good for each other. I wonder if, a few years down the road, Jessica turns Hoyt and they ride off into the moonlight together. He’d make a dapper vamp.

Greetings, fangbangers. Due to some technical difficulties this week on my end, Sally and I invited Thomas, friend of Feministe and Yes Means Yes author, to weigh in on Sunday’s episode. And for being such a short episode, this one was full of action.

Spoilers below the cut.

We thinned the herd this episode with several character deaths: Lorena took a wooden stake and exploded into a viscous mess of blood, Cooter took a silver bullet in an oddly lackluster scene, and in the final minutes of the show, the Magister was decapitated with a flourish by Russell Edgington himself. We also learned that there is a higher authority, conveniently called The Authority.

SALLY: I was happy to see the Magister go, but I’m feeling a bit ambivalent about Lorena. I never really liked her but she finally got some sort of depth last week and now she’s gone. It’s unfortunate, but I guess that’s just the way things go around here.

LAUREN: The Lorena and Bill Postmortem made me like Lorena a little bit. It’s too bad they couldn’t figure out how to use her in the actual show. She had great clothes.

SALLY: I kinda loved Russell talking about The Authority and his postulation that the only authority is nature and all that jazz. I can’t wait for Russell to be offed, but he sure is entertaining in the meantime!

LAUREN: Russell is what would happen if you boiled down a couple dozen libertarian bloggers and gave them fangs. Flashy and entertaining, full of violent belief systems shrouded in pretty language, dangerously shallow.

THOMAS: I was expecting Lorena to get staked this episode — biting Sookie sort of had to be her death warrant. There wasn’t a way for that to end well for her. However, I was very surprised to see the Magister go. I thought he had a lot of potential to play out, or maybe I just thought the character had potential because I like the actor. Russell is very impulsive for someone so old. It is partly just arrogance, but that doesn’t explain it all. He knows he’s precipitating revolution, or trying to, and he’s completely cavalier about it. I think we all know Russell ends this season dead; the Authority adds a possible method.

LAUREN: The exploding Magister head was pretty cool though.

SALLY: Also, flying across the room wasn’t too shabby either. It was like a pumpkin; it was awesome!

LAUREN: The poor actor was killed off in two HBO shows this year. Dude needs to renegotiate his contracts.

Bill may have finally pounded the last nail in his coffin (heh) by attacking and nearly killing Sookie. Bill has become a darker and more brutal character this season, and it seems that Sookie may finally see that he is a danger to her.

SALLY: Somehow I kinda doubt it. Or, rather, I think she’ll realize he’s a danger but eventually love will conquer all or something like that.

LAUREN: It seems like Bill is being set up for a downfall. As a character he has had too many moral failings this season to remain in our good graces. Contrast Bill’s story arc with Eric who has gone from the snarky, slightly scary antagonist in Season Two to a controlled sexy beast in Season Three.

THOMAS: I think this is where Tara’s reaction is a stand-in for us. I think the writers are using her as a compass for audience members who may be struggling with what to make of Bill. She has perspective on this, she sees it clearly. In fact, with Tara’s triumphs this episode, her essential strength is showing through and I expect her to become a rock at the moral center of the Bontemps world while storms buffet Sookie, Lafayette, and possibly Jason.

We learned that Sookie has never really been sick before, doesn’t have a blood type, and is prone to magical fairy orgy near-death experiences with ladies named Claudine. It has something to do with her blood. Claudine tells Sookie to stay away from Bill because he will “steal [her] light.” Thanks to Cousin Hadley, Eric knows what Sookie is and why she’s so valuable to vampires.

LAUREN: I have to say, after fourteen seasons of “Lost” boiling down to a pool of light that must be defended against darkness, I am not sold on this story.

THOMAS: I would prefer if Claudine were Sookie’s subconscious. But she won’t be. I agree, Lauren, this is likely to add complexity but not interest. Also, Bill’s partial resistance to sunlight … if that’s a consistent effect it could add a significant wrinkle, though there are confounding factors, like how depleted he was and how much he drank. To vampires, Sookie has a lot of upsides. She unlocks mortal minds, tastes great and acts as SPF 350.

LAUREN: It’s intriguing that Sookie and Sookie’s blood could be used for nefarious purposes — consider the possibilities available to a rowdy, ambitious vampire that could walk around in the daylight. My question is why she hasn’t been taken advantage of for her blood’s properties yet.

Jessica was sadly absent from this episode, but Hoyt has a new girlfriend, and she really wants Hoyt to eat her biscuits. Is Summer doomed?

SALLY: I want Jessica!!! This new girl is kinda cool, though. Something about her quirky, perky, declaring her love thing makes me like her.

THOMAS: Jason remains too stupid to live. Somehow, I see Summer and Jason becoming an item, because he’s just dumb enough to be manipulated by her and I expect Hoyt and Jessica to have another chance. I’m all in favor of forward; maybe I just don’t like her because I’m assuming she’s a religious conservative and probably anti-vamp.

SALLY: That’s true. And I do see her as more of a “match” with Jason.

LAUREN: I bet she and Jessica have it out before the end of the season. Jessica wins.

Sam rescued Tommy from the dog-fighting ring, telling off their deadbeat parents and guaranteeing Tommy a better life. Tommy is having a difficult time believing that he can exist separate from his abusive, opportunistic mom and dad. How will he fit in Bon Temps? Are we done with the Mickenses?

LAUREN: Anyone wanting to see Sam in a leash had their day on Sunday.

THOMAS: When Sam first knocked out the kennel keeper and then backed down the rottweiler with only his voice, I thought it was a little victory for his character. We should see more of that. Sam has made it on his own his whole life; he didn’t get there pining for women who didn’t love him back. He got there by sticking up for himself and sticking to his guns. We’re not done with the Mickenses, and Tommy will move on, but I expect he’ll do it alone, having gotten from Sam what he needs most — the message that he deserves better.

LAUREN: I wouldn’t mind Tommy being a permanent character. I enjoyed his flirtation with Jessica at the bar last week. He’s got potential as the young, scrappy guy.

SALLY: I kinda like Tommy too, he’s grown on me after he annoyed me for all those weeks. I am quite bored with this storyline, so it needs to start moving soon. A flirtation/fling with Jessica would be just the thing!

THOMAS: I’d love to see him as a recurring character, floating in and out and not necessarily living in Bontemps.

Finally, the most intriguing teaser: According to Claudine, “it wasn’t the water” that killed Sookie and Jason’s parents. If they didn’t drown…?

LAUREN: Bill did it? Some vampire did it?

THOMAS: Can’t be Bill unless they’re permanently killing the love story. Likely some other vampire. Can’t be Eric either, for the same reason. If I am picking spots in the pool, I’ll take Russell, since he’s getting staked this season anyway, but Sophie Ann or Franklin are possible.

SALLY: I immediately thought Russell. Franklin is a possibility, but he doesn’t seem to really make up his own mind about anything, so I’m sure he would’ve been working for Russell anyway.

LAUREN: Speaking of Franklin, I wonder whether Tara connected the dots with Sookie’s reminder that “this is what a dead vampire looks like,” because after Tara’s recent victories it will suck to see her disempowered, endangered and alone yet again. But that bursting blood balloon is NOT what Franklin looked like, Tara. Watch the hell out.

[UPDATE: Edited to reflect change in the function of the feature.]

Some concerns about comment moderation have been brought to us by the community, so we have decided to try something new.

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Too much happened this week to avoid spoilers above the fold, so read on, fangbangers.

A new dynamic is developing between Franklin and Tara. Franklin is emotionally fragile in a manner that is intensely threatening to Tara, and Tara is able to manipulate the terms of her captivity by playing along with Franklin’s violent attempts at romance. Then Franklin reveals that he wants Tara to be his “vampire bride.”

LAUREN: We also find out that Franklin is quite adept at texting. Which had me rolling on the floor by myself in my living room.

SALLY: You mean, you don’t find it incredibly impressive that a vampire can learn something new like texting?! It’s AWESOME! Totally high-tech, dude.

LAUREN: One thing that had me squirming in this episode was the scene where Tara fled the mansion in her white gown — just having the imagery of a black woman fleeing a Southern estate in terror in the old school dressing gown and being chased by dogs — in a show about camp vampires. Maybe someone will write a graduate thesis on racial imagery in True Blood that references this scene in a more intelligent way, but it turned my stomach. It evoked the same negative feelings that seeing Lafayette chained up in the basement of a vampire bar did last season. And in the last episode, where they categorized an “ethnic” sex worker’s ethnicity as a food flavor and killed her because they knew no one would come after her. It’s like it’s almost progressive to point these things out but the fact that they don’t do anything with them makes me wonder whether they are intentionally drawing up this imagery.

SALLY: I was wondering that as well when I saw her running out and being chased. Just like you said, it’s troubling that they set up these images but then don’t do anything with them, particularly because I don’t think that everyone who watches will actually make that connection. So it’s almost pointless to frame it in that way if it’s intentional. And if it’s not intentional, then what the hell????

LAUREN: On the other hand, it was interesting to see how the show flipped what has been a creepy and traumatic storyline between Tara and Franklin to a largely comedic one. During the last episode, you and I were both bothered by the intense violence against women, but notice that this episode, written by a woman, had a balance of comedy and drama.

SALLY: And it had Tara attempt to gain control, which is really good to see. I’ll admit, I’m still bothered by how this storyline is unfolding, but if Tara can get away sometime soon, relatively unscathed, I’ll be a much happier person.

LAUREN: And yet wouldn’t Tara make a fantastic vampire?

Lafayette and Jesus. How adorable were these scenes?

LAUREN: I will forgive Jesus his facial hair as long as he and Lafayette stay coy and playful.

SALLY: I had two thoughts when I saw these cutie patootie scenes. 1) Awwwww – they should love each other and be together forever! 2) Hmm… is he being that nice because he’s up to something? Trying to trick Lafayette?! NOOOOO!

LAUREN: I’m telling you, Lafayette and Tara need goodness in their lives. To date, they’re basically out there on their own.

SALLY: I really hope he’s legit and doesn’t have something up his sleeve. In the meantime, he’s definitely nice to look at and it’s good to have a few moments of happiness sprinkled throughout an otherwise dark show.

Speaking of which, I also loved when Terry got all cute and emotional about moving in with Arlene. It was a really sweet moment.

We get some clues to the depth of Sam’s family’s dysfunction, specifically that Joe Lee is physically abusing Sam’s younger brother, Tommy. Sam puts himself on the line, physically and financially, to defend and protect his brother. Where is this going?

LAUREN: There are two theories I’ve seen floating around about what is happening between Tommy and Joe Lee. One is that Joe Lee is sexually abusing Tommy, which would make sense based on some peripheral moments and conversation, and the other is that they are making Tommy fight as in dog fighting, which would explain Tommy’s heavy scarring. I can see both. Have you seen any theories?

SALLY: I haven’t, though both of those are very interesting. I can see it being either, but given what we know about this family, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was something even worse.

But I’m still wary of Tommy, though now I’m not sure if that’s because of his father’s abuse or if he is playing some role in this or has a hidden agenda.

LAUREN: This story is moving at a snail’s pace and poor Sam is getting the back burner again. How much do you want to bet that he has to convince Tommy and his mom to turn into wolves before the end of this season?

SALLY: I don’t get why they don’t do more with this character. He’s a good actor and I’m sure they can make this storyline a bit more interesting. I keep waiting for something to happen, but it never does.

It is revealed that Eric and Russell Edgington have a centuries long conflict after Edgington killed Eric’s family — and that Eric may be more interested in pissing off Bill than hooking up with Sookie. Additionally, Eric has no problem selling out his queen to get a political edge.

LAUREN: Yeah, I thought Eric was going to be loyal to the queen, but he turned around right quick to attempt to save Pam. It’s a testament to the parent-child vampire relationship, I think. And a good thing since I so love Pam. Also, it hurts Bill that Eric edges in by telling the truth because Bill’s motivations for keeping a dossier on Sookie are still hidden. In the end Bill’s going to look like a lying douche.

SALLY: I’m glad we finally got to see how Eric’s parents’ died and how deep this werewolf hunt goes for Eric. Having him see his father’s crown in Russell’s collection was a great moment and I can’t wait to see how this ends up playing out between them.

As for Bill, I am a bit confused about why he’s denying those files are his — couldn’t he just admit that the files were his and then make up a reason why? That seems like it would have been easier. I also am confused about why he has those files in the first place and what’s Russell’s interest in them as well. I get that Sookie’s special and there’s something up with her family history, but I guess I just wished they’d throw us some more clues.

The wolf pack’s packmaster is loathe to fight against the V-soaked Edgington crew, and Sookie seems to be pushing Alcide (who actually had a shirt on for the majority of the episode) into assuming a position of leadership. Where is this going?

LAUREN: Werewolf wars! At the very least we have our Season Three villains that the characters will need to defeat: the Magister and Russell. And it looks like the werewolves and the vampires are going to have to figure out their shit and work together.

SALLY: I would be totally down to see some werewolf wars! I kind of want them to spend some time plotting their plan to make it have a really intense build-up, but I guess there’s not really time for that. In that case, I’d be perfectly fine with Alcide becoming the leader of the pack, Debbie wanting him back and him kicking her to the curb. (Cuz, really, is it just me or is she totally not right for him?)

And what was up with the way Debbie described Russell? It seemed like there was even more to him than we know at this point. Maybe his involvement goes even deeper than we realize? Though how much deeper could it get than having the werewolves do his bidding and paying them in his own blood?

Sookie and Bill reunited. Whee. Meanwhile Sookie did the face-glowing hand thing again!

SALLY: Ahhhh!

LAUREN: WTF! OMG. And Russell’s glee!

SALLY: The Sookie/Bill reunion was kinda weird, but Sookie’s new power move was awesome! Russell looked like a kid on Christmas and Sookie’s expression was also funny — a mix of bewilderment and “oh boy, not again.” I’m sure she gets tired of having random powers sometimes. I guess I would too if all I really wanted was to have great sex with hot vampires.

SPOILERS BELOW.

This week on True Blood, we are introduced to a new Nice Guy Werewolf, ponder the paternal lineage of Arlene’s baby, and hate on Bill for his misogynist extracurricular activities. Enjoy the discussion and add your own thoughts in the comments.

This episode was mostly about Bill and Lorena’s history and how Bill mourns the loss of his humanity, a theme for his character throughout the series. Bill says that to love Sookie is to leave her. Lorena says she still loves Bill, but as for Bill, uh, there’s a lot of anger there. Dysfunctional love triangle, no?

LAUREN: This episode was clearly more about setting up the story for the season than playing out any existing story lines. And man, I don’t even care about Lorena that much. DO. NOT. CARE. The character doesn’t hold my attention, and I don’t care about Bill so I certainly don’t care about this lady that torments him. And I think it would be swell if Sookie got with someone else because BILL IS BORING AS HELL. The most exciting thing about him is his pea coat collection.

SALLY: And here I was thinking there was something wrong with me for not being into this character. She’s boring and really weird, in a way that I can’t really put into words. I can’t tell if it’s her as an actress or the character or what, but I don’t like it…

And Bill is just getting more boring by the episode, isn’t he? Generally throughout the series, he’s had low points and high points, and there’s a certain swinging of the pendulum, but it hasn’t swung towards the high in quite a while.

And another thing, is this going to become another Lost-like love polygon? Because I’m already too wrapped up in the potential of Sookie-Eric to care that there’s now a Bill-Lorena angle here. Sexy sex vs. boring boredom? There’s a clear winner here, folks.

This episode was also a further introduction to the werewolves, in particular to Alcide, whom Eric slated to accompany Sookie on her trip to Mississippi. We also discovered that this handsome wolf’s heart is tied up with his ex-girlfriend, Debbie, whom we found out is getting engaged to one of the bad guys.

LAUREN: Alcide? Yawn, dude. I guess he’s yet another guy that Sookie may or may not hook up with, but I’m going to be all mad when he gets in the way of Mr. Northman. Also, I’m putting ten bucks on Jason’s third season love interest being Alcide’s ex, Debbie.

SALLY: So… I am confused. Is this guy supposed to be scary, aloof, creepy, sexy, or… what exactly? I couldn’t tell if he was supposed to be aloof, or if he just wasn’t exciting. Am I expecting too much from him? He’s nice to look at, but the entire scene at Sookie’s – heck, even him running up to her to stop her from running away – I was just wondering who he was, where he came from, and why anyone would think he was dangerous. Seems rather wimpy to me.

This does not bode well for the werewolves to come, does it?

LAUREN: I don’t want Nice Guy Werewolves, I want my werewolves to hang out in leather bars with punny names like Lou Pine’s. (I LOLed.)

SALLY: Hehehe. I also kinda love that all you need to end a potential brawl is a baseball bat. Werewolves are just like you and me.

Tara’s new love interest, Franklin, also appears to be a bad guy. Can Tara catch a break? Who does Franklin work for and why is he so interested in Bill Compton?

LAUREN: I was intrigued with this character in the beginning of the episode, when he was being kind to Tara, and even when he was extracting information from Jessica. By the end of the episode though, it seems like this guy has a nasty streak a mile wide.

SALLY: Franklin is bugging me. (Of course, part of this is because I keep saying “Forny, what are you doing being so mean?!” but still.) I don’t see why we need to bring even more drama Tara’s way. I also wonder how long their pairing will last, considering it’s obvious that the only reason he spoke to her in the first place was because of his interest in getting to Sookie.

LAUREN: You think? To me he seemed pissed that he wasn’t privy to Tara and Sookie’s friendship.

SALLY: Hmm, I suppose, but I looked at it more as he didn’t realize how close they actually were, not that he didn’t know they knew each other at all. But I might be reading into that a bit much, so who knows.

LAUREN: I do have to say, I’m still bothered with the way Tara’s character is being handled in the story. Tara (thanks to actor Rutina Wesley) has a ton of potential as a character, but her story line so far has just been a series of lows. If a character can’t get a break, can a character develop? Isn’t it about time Tara gets a victory? One that involves more than weird eye-fluttering, cow-mooing vampire sex?

SALLY: Yes to this! Why doesn’t her character ever grow or become interested in anything meaningful?

I mean, I guess character development has its own time and place on this series, right? Jason “grew” last season, but he seems completely the same person now. The only thing really affecting him at the moment is killing Eggs.

LAUREN: Yes. I’m ready for Jason’s hallucinations to be resolved soon.

Arlene is pregnant and Terry is not the father. Jason scratched the deputy itch and found it unsatisfying, for now anyway. Sam’s new family is serious trouble and may have ulterior motives. Eric is smothering Lafayette with lavish gifts. Where are these side stories going?

SALLY: Oh Terry, how cute are you with your excitement of being a father! Too bad you aren’t…

LAUREN: Who the EFF is Arlene’s babydaddy?

SALLY: No clue, Lauren, no clue. I’m hoping it’s somebody new and exciting. OR, the sheriff. Cuz the hell would see that one coming, right?!

As for the other side stories, I have no idea where they’re going, though I think the most intriguing one is Eric/Lafayette. It seems pretty clear that Lafayette does need to get rid of the rest of the blood and I’m not entirely sure how much easier that’ll be simply because Eric decides to start giving out cars and such.

LAUREN: If Eric showed up to insult my house and give me a nice car, I wouldn’t turn him away.

SALLY: Nor would I. But that’s probably because I’d be too busy trying to get him to have sex with me in said car, so, I don’t know.

As for the other storylines, I’m already bored with Jason’s storyline, though that’s not really anything new. He’s a fun character, but even last season with the importance of his storyline, it wasn’t entertaining enough for me.

LAUREN: Yeah, Jason was just kind of a dick until the show writers figured out a way to make his ignorance funny, and last season’s The A-Team gig was good stuff.

SALLY: Sam… He needs to kick that family to the curb. I hope the annoying brother ends up helping him out in the end.

LAUREN: I said it last time, but it seems like Sam is the writers’ golden ticket out of whatever narrative mess they’ve made. They sort of dangle his story along and fold it into the season resolution, whatever that may be.

The last scene was… It was… I don’t know what that was. Discuss.

LAUREN: I seriously don’t know what to say about that scene. It borrowed special effects from a Goldie Hawn movie? It was the epitome of a “hate fuck”? I imagine it will be, um, controversial?

SALLY: *sigh* This scene was just… so… ugh. I mean, was it really necessary? I was slightly disturbed by it, especially when she said that she still loves him. She really freaks me out, I don’t know what to make of her character. Meanwhile, Bill needs to not have sex with vampires if that’s what it’s going to be like. I mean, why have sex with her anyway?

LAUREN: So I’m just going to throw it out there. There is some controversy on the fan reaction sites as to whether or not the final scene of this episode was a rape scene. I have a lot of mixed feelings about the scene BECAUSE it was so over the top violent, and yet so wacky-violent with the 180 degree head-turn that it screamed of “Death Becomes Her” camp and B-movie horror. There are also, thanks to the vampire hierarchy and the love story behind Bill and Lorena, some serious power issues coming to play. The scene was, in my humble opinion, misogynist as FUCK, but wasn’t rape.

That’s not to erase or undo the problematic way the Bill-Lorena relationship has been handled, a relationship that is at its core about the manipulation of consent. But now we have a primary character who has violently abused an intimate partner more than once that we’re also supposed to accept as a tragic hero.

Tell me if this is a stretch. I have a hard time dissecting the sexual nuances of vampires.

SALLY: I think the power dynamic is the real issue here. Yes, she clearly wanted to have sex with him – she kept saying as much leading up to and during the act. But it’s also quite clear that even though she’s older as a vampire (whatever weight that holds – sometimes it seems to matter, sometimes not so much), Bill’s got the power here.

I guess that’s what kept bothering me the most during this scene. Yes, the violence was weirdly over-the-top (maybe purposely so? borderline campy, perhaps? so odd…), and it wasn’t rape because I guess they both wanted it, but geez louise, are there weird power issues here.

I think part of the problem is that, even though we know at least some of their history, what we do know doesn’t seem to warrant the incredible hatred he seems to feel for her. Is that just me?? Like, okay, she taught you that you can’t love humans and she was right, or something, but REALLY, BILL?!

Ugh, now I just dislike Bill even more. I’m annoyed by this development.

LAUREN: Right. Dude, it was a bad breakup. Get your hair done, travel the world in your pea coat collection, suck on some nice human’s femoral artery, and get over it.

Another thing that bothers me is the choice the writers made in depicting his hatred of (i.e. abuse of) Lorena, because sexual violence and immolation are two socially accepted, and if not “accepted,” then two socially codified ways of putting women in their place. There’s no debate — that was Bill’s intent for Lorena, and it completely changes the game.

To all the men who helped raise feminists, whether they meant to or not.

(Mine didn’t. Ha.)

[Image description: an illustration of broken chains superimposed over African art and a quote: ‘In accordance with a proclamation from the executive of the United States, all slaves are free…’ Big letters in the middle read ‘Juneteenth: June 19, 1865-Galveston, Texas.’]

Juneteenth is a celebration of the day the Emancipation Proclamation was made official in Texas and slaves were made a free people in that state. It’s the day Union General Gordon Granger and 2,000 federal troops arrived in Galveston, Texas, to take possession of the state and enforce the emancipation of its slaves, and the annual celebration and recognition of human rights and autonomy began the following year.

There aren’t a lot of holidays designed to celebrate human rights, so celebrate, people! Happy Juneteenth, all!

[via JJP and all my folks on Tumblr]

Spoilers Below

After the demise of the Thursday Lost Roundtable, Sally and I decided to open up the floor to our undead friends for a weekly roundtable discussion of Feministe’s vampire show of choice: True Blood.

There is a lot going on, so to do our very best to figure it all out, the vamp-obsessed members of the Feministe team will be having a discussion every week. Sally and I will lay out our analysis and predictions, whatever they may be, and take turns introducing and moderating the discussions.

To recap: The season opener picked up where we left off last year and began several new story lines: The maenad is dead, thus so is the killing and chaos that took over Bon Temps, but Bill has been kidnapped, Sam is off getting in touch with his roots (and his innermost desires?), opportunistic Lettie Mae is manipulating her way back into Tara’s and Lafayette’s lives, and Jason is trying to reform his evil ways.

Before we get started, let’s get one thing out of the way. Do you read the Sookie Stackhouse novels or are you just a fan of the show?

LAUREN: I started one of the novels, but found that it fiddled with my enjoyment of the show. I know what the differences are between show and novel, and I’m aware of some of the plot points that may be coming down the pike, but I’ll try not to spoil anything. I’ll just talk dirty about Eric Northman.

SALLY: I have never read any of the books. I know some people who have, and sometimes they’ll mention something from the books and explain it to me – but it’s usually in one ear and out the other. I’m not generally a big vampire fan, and I feel that it’s easier for me to get wrapped up in the show than stay committed to a book.

LAUREN: Yeah, I’m a little flummoxed by the vampire trend that’s happening right now. I wonder if the decadent, sexually-charged vampire thing is a cultural pushback against the conservative Bush years. It’s interesting to me that neither of us are huge vampire fans in general. What’s the appeal, do you think?

SALLY: No clue, really. This is the only vampire-related thing I’m a fan of, so I can’t understand it. I know some people love the sexiness and/or sexual tension in Twilight and the Charlaine Harris books, but there must be more than that, no? Maybe they give off some sort of forbidden love/sex appeal?

LAUREN: I don’t know, but I feel the need to remind readers of prior show-related posts on Feministe, posts that did not rely solely on objectifying fictional vampires (like ERIC EFFING NORTHMAN). Check out this one by Aunt B, who has valid issues with representations of Southernness on the show, and this one by Renee on depictions of femininity, masculinity, vampire sex, and ravishment fantasies in True Blood.

Vampires, werewolves, gratuitous nudity, rampant drug abuse? Oh, True Blood, how we’ve missed you! What did you think of the opening episode?

LAUREN: I think Eric was dressed by Jean Claude Van Damme’s stylist circa 1989.

SALLY: HAHAHA! True as that may be, he certainly was hot! I forgot how entertaining this show is! I thoroughly enjoyed the nudity in the episode…

LAUREN: Yes! Usually I’m annoyed with it, but I love the campy approach the show takes. LIKE THE SCENE BETWEEN BILL AND SAM. Sally, I just want you to know that the water in Arkansas is VERY HARD.

SALLY: That scene was INCREDIBLE! My guy and I were like “what on earth is going on?!” – incredibly intrigued and confused and all sorts of other things at the same time. Great scene, that one! And one that might live in my memory for longer than I’d like to admit…

LAUREN: Word to that. And at risk of over-promoting the show, I do love the queering of the narrative space. It’s been discussed into the ground, and I agree that vampires “coming out of the closet” is a bad analogy to the gay rights movement. But that said, there are enough ways in which sexual attraction is toyed with on the show to end up with mostly queer-friendly camp. What the show usually gets right is the power of desire, the ugliness of intolerance, and the danger of fundamentalism. It’s an imperfect show, sure, but it’s great popcorn TV for absurd, horny feminists. *cough*

Vampire politics took the forefront in this episode. The Queen is responsible for putting V on the black market through Eric and Lafayette, and due to financial issues, wants the V to be sold as soon as possible, despite having the creepy magistrate breathing down her neck. It looks like Pam may break her loyalty and defect from Eric over it, too. This can only mean danger.

SALLY: I thought it was interesting to see Pam push Eric like that – I really liked it. This whole vampires selling V thing creeps me out, but is generally hot-ified whenever the Queen interacts with Eric. The scene last night when their fangs came out and she pushed him up against the wall – Loved! I do have to say, though, that I’m surprised this story line is being set up as one of the prominent story lines of the season. I kind of hoped it’d just go away, but I’m sure they’ll make it work in a way that lessens the creepiness for me.

LAUREN: See, I’m really into this storyline, because it’s all The Thin Blue Line but with vampires, werewolves, and bad Southern accents. Notice how the fundamentalist magistrate got Eric and the Queen both to spout off some shit about the sacredness of vampire blood while obscuring corruption in the vampire Sheriff department, inspiring fear and reverence in the two baddest badasses on this show? Yeah. There’s potential there.

SALLY: True. The potential is definitely there, for pure campy entertainment if nothing else. Can’t wait until the truth comes out and all hell breaks loose.

Poor Tara lost Eggs and isn’t yet aware that her past crush Jason is responsible, or worse, that there is a police cover-up of Eggs’ murder. Her opportunist mother is using this as a way to get to Tara, and Lafayette has too much on his own plate to manage his cousin’s grief. Can Tara handle any more personal tragedy?

SALLY: While I get that she loved him and all of that, I was annoyed by her this episode. It’s fine that she was all “no, he’s not guilty” at first, but then attacking Sookie when she told her what happened, not cool. (Though I did love Lafayette in that scene.) That said, this season is going be hell for her. This cover-up is bound to fail, her mother’s still as screwed up as ever, and she’s lost one of the only people who cared about her. Sadness. =(

LAUREN: This is a hard one because Rutina Wesley is such a great actress who is given such shallow material to work with.  How long do you think Tara and Eggs knew each other — like, a month? Six weeks? Tragic, sure, but not something to swallow a bottle of Oxycontin over. I do think the abilities of the actor have surpassed the angry black woman bullshit the writers are heaping on the character — they need to find a way for Tara to express feelings that doesn’t involve telling someone off.

SALLY: That’s the thing, really, is that I guess I get so caught up in her acting that I believe everything she says and does to be completely plausible. In reality, of course, she didn’t really know him that long – a fact I completely forgot until now. I don’t know, maybe it’s supposed to be the last straw kind of thing? Though that wouldn’t make all that much sense either considering all of the other crap she’s been through.

Bill is missing and Sookie needs to find him. Are we on the edge of our seats or are we yawning?

LAUREN: I… don’t care about Bill and Sookie. All TV shows I follow (a number that increasingly embarrasses me) kind of lose me on the primary relationship we’re all supposed to be rooting for, a la Jack/Kate/Sawyer, Susan/Mike, Buffy/Angel/Xander/Spike, Sookie/Bill, etc. When the plot doesn’t allow them to be or do anything else other than love one another or miss hir beloved in hir absence, I stop caring. I liked Sookie until she latched onto Bill exclusively, and now I’m kind of hoping Eric scores a romantic coup.

SALLY: I care about Bill and Sookie, yet I totally didn’t care about them in this episode. I did think she had some of the funniest moments of the episode when she was looking for him, but, yawn. The thing is, I like them as a couple and they’re both good characters so it makes me at least somewhat interested in what happens to them. But the way this episode was trying to draw out the drama just bored me. Usually their relationship-related plot points have some other element to them – they’re tied to other characters (Eric), or have some sort of greater purpose. This one did too, but I guess I would have preferred it if they’d just shown Bill’s side of things rather than Sookie randomly running around town asking “have you seen Bill???” It was sad (in a pathetic – and not boo hoo – way) and boring.

LAUREN: Yeah, the show loses inertia when Sookie and Bill are standing around making moon eyes at each other. I will admit that this is the most badass we’ve seen Bill. Up to date, he’s kind of been the vampire version of The Nice Guy, but here he fucks up The Fuck You Crew (and what was that?!), feeds off some poor woman and then glamours her into forgetting he was there, and wanders around being shirtless and mean somewhere in the rural South. Dude was full-on vampire.

SALLY: I know, I thoroughly enjoy this new side of Bill. Even when dealing with Eric and all of that “oh no don’t steal my girl” stuff, he wasn’t this badass. I like it, Bill, keep it coming!

Hoyt and Jessica, the cutest couple on the show, are having some difficulties. It appears sweet Jessica has a skeleton in her closet, or, uh, a corpse under the floorboards. Any predictions on Hoyt’s and Jessica’s abilities to maintain a cross-species relationship?

SALLY: I really hope these two find each other again and love each other forever and whatnot. They’re ADORABLE! I can’t wait to see how that all plays out; I definitely would not have minded seeing more of Jessica with the dead dude and having Hoyt and her interact some more.

Also, love the haircut, Hoyt!!!

LAUREN: Agreed, it took me a long time to remember where she got the dead guy and how. It’s kind of sad to see Jessica fumble with her vampire abilities while her teacher, Bill, is off having adventures. A metaphor for adolescence? Or are they setting Jessica up for very sensible, valid reasons to reject Bill’s Good Vampire gig?

SALLY: Ooh, I hope it’s the latter! That would certainly make for more interesting television. Somehow, though, I think it’s probably more the former…

Werewolves? Werewolves???

LAUREN: Werewolves!

SALLY: Werewolves! (Real ones! Did you see the clip after the show about using real wolves? So cool!) Those werewolf dudes were hella weird, I must say, and I can’t help but wonder how many different types we’ll see in the coming weeks – sexy female werewolf, scruffy old werewolf, etc.

LAUREN: Thankfully they’re using real wolves. I can’t stand having the narrative broken by bad CGI *cough* LOST. Regardless it looks like we’re in for some serious vampire versus werewolf action this season.

SALLY: I’m ready for it!

LAUREN: Me too! And it’s going to be a long week, but in the meantime, conscience off, dick on, and everything is going to be all right.