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And then, Aimee Mann saves with day with these ennui-busting lyrics from the heart of God:

Aimee Mann*: Momentum (from Magnolia)

Oh, for the sake of momentum
I’ve allowed my fears to get larger than life
And it’s brought me to my current agendum
Whereupon I deny fulfillment has yet to arrive

And I know life is getting shorter
I can’t bring myself to set the scene
Even when it’s approaching torture
I’ve got my routine

Oh, for the sake of momentum
Even though I agree with that stuff about seizing the day
But I hate to think of effort expended
All those minutes and days and hours
I have frittered away.

And I know life is getting shorter
I can’t bring myself to set the scene
Even when it’s approaching torture
I’ve got my routine

But I can’t confront the doubts I have
I can’t admit that maybe the past was bad
And so, for the sake of momentum
I’m condemning the future to death
So it can match the past.

* Who, alas, performed here in Richmond just a few months ago, at a venue that is in freaking walking distance from my house, but I was too broke to go.

( lyrics via)

Digging for fire and ice from the ruins of most sordid, but curiously fruitful, experience.

[In which I explain my long silences, interrupted as they are with outbursts such as these, through quotations by Nina Simone, Adrienne Rich, Franz Kafka, Pixies, and Pat Benatar.]

Two weeks ago, in my most recent comment (out of four) to the thought-provoking post, O the Joys of Being an Empowered Sex Worker at The Reclusive Leftist, I alluded to my intent of returning to the hiatus-state thusly:

So I’m going back into my habitual hunker-down mode. I’ll have a more active online presence (here and elsewhere) when I’m done with what I have to do, which is going to involve the completion of many long-languishing works in radically different mediums (ranging from memoir and poetry to collaborative sociological research), as well as work toward developing truly ameliorative, justice-based direct service and legislative initiatives which have been on my proverbial back burners for some time.

That may take awhile. (For one thing, I don’t just have books and nonprofits to raise; I also have actual breathing children, the youngest of whom won’t be leaving the nest for a minimum of 12 years.)

All that was (and remains) true enough, but even from the assumed state of relative silence, I can’t stand the inadequacy of that explanation. So much is going on right now, that I’m utterly unable to break things down into manageable, blog-postable snippets - or even extended rants; everything I start derails itself, not because I don’t have enough to write, but because I have too much; everything I start tries to become a book (or several books).

This is a real pain in the ass.

For one thing, I really wanted to break from the hiatus at least temporarily, in order to participate in Lauren’s admirable Help Us Help Ourselves Initiative. When I read Dr. Socks’s contribution on making divine brownies on the cheap, I immediately thought… Okay, but how about if you don’t have an oven? Because so much of my life has been like that, not having jack shit to work with.

Tonight, Nina Simone was required listening, for the song she sings so well, that starts with lines like these:

Ain’t got no home, ain’t got no shoes
Ain’t got no money, ain’t got no class
Ain’t got no friends, ain’t got no schoolin’
Ain’t got no wear, ain’t got no job

…but concludes with glad, imbued-with-Grace-like-only-Nina-Simone-has revelations about what she still has, like:

I got my hair, I got my head
I got my brains, I got my ears
I got my eyes, I got my nose
I got my mouth, I got my smile

Of course, she continues with the itemizing of retained assets, which include her hands, fingers, toes, feet, and even her liver!

Okay, back to the ain’t got no oven, how’m I gonna make these yummy brownies? quandary. (To clarify: yes, I actually do have an oven, now. Point is, I wanted to go back to when times were so bad that just staying alive everyday was a major accomplishment; to render very specific, practical advice that I would certainly have appreciated during the more desperate years.)

So the article I wanted to contribute to Lauren’s project was going to be called How to Survive Being Homeless.

But of course the m-fing thing grew way beyond its originally slated proportions, and was nowhere close to completion by the time that call for contributions was winding to a close.

So, here’s the dealio:

I’m still going to do this particular article, I just have no idea when.

I’ve got a hell of a lot on my plate.

Like:

Being sick as a dog since August. On my third or fourth cycle of antibiotics and prednisone now, killer cough syrup, etc. just to not keel over from the worst respiratory distress of my life. All of this being, no doubt, some neat medical metaphor for the summer of still-unspeakable revelations that have left me literally breathless (but at least, gave me a wonderfully hilarious, tender-in-its-way photograph of the late Senator Wellstone in a skirt.)

Of course, there’s more (way way more) but this is about all I can say about specific barriers/quandaries right now.

Meantime, do know that to whatever extent I may have an inconsistent presence here (and in other spheres of interaction), my silences must never be misunderstood as apathy. The situation is quite the opposite. I care about so many issues and so many people so deeply and so sincerely that every day, I have cause to wonder (again!) whether “what I must engage/…is meant to break my heart and reduce me to silence,” as Adrienne Rich previously wondered, in what is still, in my estimation, not just one of her most profound poems, but one of the most profound poems of the 20th century, North American Time.

Jesus, but I am tired. And sick. (And sick of being tired/ tired of being sick.)

But I’ll come back, like some kind of pruned tree after the winter.

Kafka wrote that a book should serve as the “axe for the frozen sea within us.” Thing is: for me, others’ books can’t accomplish this for me anymore.

This, despite my recent addiction to LibraryThing. Have catalogued about one-fifth of my collection so far, with a whole separate profile for my obnoxiously long wish list. Fortunately, free accounts are capped at 200 books, so I can’t add that much more to the wishlist, although I did spend my birthday money on a lifetime membership for keeping track of the extant collection.

Bottom line: I have to get back to writing my own books, or I’m going to spontaneously combust from all the amazing crap I’ve lived through, witnessed, been given the opportunity (and the obligation) to understand.

Of course, Kafka gives us another goody (good enough that I could care less about his ‘universal’ male pronouns):

Anyone who cannot come to terms with his life while he is alive needs one hand to ward off a little his despair over his fate… but with his other hand he can note down what he sees among the ruins.

So this is it: I’m in the ruins!

And sifting all its fine, horrific contents through my fingers.

Of if you prefer your metaphors courtesy of some Pixies (and with Kim Deal being so amazing, how could you not?), I could characterize all of this as digging for fire.

Which brings it all back to Pat Benatar, who composed so much of the music I screamed along to as a preteen and then a teen. Pat Benatar, whose voice guided me through one of my most pronounced experiences of exile: in 1984, after a fellow eighth grader sexually assaulted me, and was subsequently assumed by my father and stepmother to have been my consensual sex partner - following which I was slapped around, called a slut, and sent back to live with the mother (who, for her part, had been imagining I was a “slut” from the time I was eight, if not earlier).

No, I won’t be taken in by fire and ice.

Instead, I’m going to write using both elements, and then some.

Uncle Timmy was a hellraiser

A Veterans’ Day weekend remembrance, six years after the fact.

Veterans’ Day is always bittersweet for me; Nov. 11 is also the birthday of my Uncle Timmy, a Navy veteran who died of alcoholism (cirrhosis and hepatitis bleed-out) on November 10, 2000: the eve of what would have been his 45th birthday.

Timmy was preceded in death by his brother Billie, in 1998, of cancer, strangely enough, at the age of 45. Unlike Timmy, Billie had actually won his lifelong struggle against alcoholism and numerous drug addictions, but still, he’d died; when that happened, I think, the part of Timmy still capable of nurturing hope died, too.

Even more confounding: In the year of Timmy’s death, he’d decided that for the first time in his life, he was going to vote for Democrats rather than Republicans. (I’m not sure if he’d ever entertained third-party options.)

Whether this was due to a bona fide change of heart, and/or if it was to spite his mother, a lifelong Republican who lived across the street from him (though they were no longer on speaking terms), I’ll never know. Timmy went down to the Okmulgee Democrat Party headquarters and got himself every single sign they had (not just for Gore/Lieberman, but also for every obscure school board or city council candidate). And he lined the entire front of both his yard and his neighbor’s (don’t know if he asked permission first) with the signs.

Then, right before the elections, he started vomiting blood, and went to the hospital. He never went home.

In that last week of his life, he was furious over not being able to vote - not to mention over his mother’s sudden, nauseatingly Munchausen-esque histrionics over her “sweet baby boy,” since this was the same woman who had routinely beaten him within millimeters of his life on several occasions, and as mentioned above, hadn’t spoken to him at all in recent times, for more than a year. For example: the preceding May, when Timmy had (with understandable trepidation) left a Mother’s Day card along with a nice houseplant near my grandmother’s doorstep. Her reaction at the time? She left it there to die - then complained to anyone who would listen about her lousy son having the nerve to bring her a dead plant.

Adding insult to injury, my grandmother’s histrionics in that last week of his life included her one-woman campaign to convince doctors that Timmy’s wife, Trish, had actually poisoned him. After righteously demanding an autopsy (which I’m pretty sure they’d have done anyway), my grandmother spent months harassing the city’s police department, long after her son had been buried, the cause of his death having been unambiguously (and so sadly) affirmed.

Timmy’s mother got to vote, and he didn’t. Worse: he died not even knowing what the outcome of the Presidential “elections” would be. (Timmy: I so wish you could have seen what happened in this election season.)

Heartbreakingly, I didn’t get to see him before he died, but I did make it to the funeral, which was surreal on any number of fronts. It was well-attended by an interesting mix of his white Appalachian and Creek Indian kin (including Trish, who in addition to being his wife, was also his second cousin; yes, we do Southern stereotypes), assorted and sundry vets, and his drinking buddies, including a giant fellow in denim overalls named Grizz, the designated bouncer. (Have you ever been to a funeral that had a bouncer?)

Timmy was haunted by everything, and had good reason to be; his life was so hard.

But today I live in the one city where he used to live at least somewhat happily (even, at times, soberly).

This is why, even though he’s long gone, Timmy is one of the main reasons I live in Richmond: for all those ghostly resonances.

I miss you, Timmy.

And there was much rejoicing

Southern Discomfort hereby calls the Virginia Senate race for Jim Webb*. (You’re welcome.) Also, South Dakota woke up and smelled the unconstitutionality of its draconian abortion ban (first referenced in this blog here). Nicely played, South Dakota! Alas, my fellow Virginians did not defeat the ballot initiative which sought to write discrimination into our own state’s constitution. [...]

Comments fixed

I had no idea the comments function wasn’t working until a friend let me know. (Thanks.) So, folks, if there was anything y’all have been dying to say here, go on and say it.

Virginia Senate election night nail-biter

This is going to be a long, nerve-wracking night. Granted, only 4.91 30.05 percent of precincts have reported, but right now George Allen is beating Jim Webb by 137 2,398 votes. (Not the single vote that won Allen the mock election at my daughter’s school, but still, damned close.) The difference? About one-third of one percentage [...]

Fighting back against the tyranny of despair.

Someone I have great respect for has expressed* that he will not be voting in this election, as an expression of protest, of his unwillingness to participate in a system of government that is guilty of institutionalized torture, that has seen the death of habeas corpus and Americans’ grossly apathetic response. These are, of course, more [...]

Nightmare scenario in which George Allen (R-VA) wins by a single vote.

Today my daughter came home with the results of her school’s mock Senate election: 403  votes for Jim Webb, 404 votes for George Allen. I’ll take what comfort I can in the fact that our demographics may be a “skewing” factor, insofar as said school’s PTA base includes not only the likes of me, but also [...]

Take Back The News: confronting misreprentation and underrepresentation of sexual assault in mainstream media

After last night’s post addressing (among other matters) the brouhaha around how rape is reported (and too often, misreported or not reported at all), both in governmental crime statistics and in the mainstream media, I was glad to find this resource: Take Back The News confronts the misrepresentation and underrepresentation of sexual assault in mainstream media [...]

For whom is rape acceptable?

Biting Beaver has a well-reasoned, valuable essay on all the recent bluster over how internet pornography, according to a recent study, allegedly serves as a deterent to rape. Some of her especially salient points were around the matter of actual versus reported rapes, and some reasons for declines in reported rapes, which are far more logical [...]