feminist blogs

“I wish someone would have told me that our job as mothers is not to take emotional pain away from our children but to hold them through it.”

I like that advice. I read it in a recent blog post on Feministing (which, eh-hem, was quite slanted in its leaving out dads…it’s okay…it happens). And then I decided to come up with some advices all by myself, cuz some of my friends are starting to raise kids, like 5 – 10 years after me because I was pregnant and momming before it was cool Heehee. Just kidding. Here goes:

1. Still do what you love. No matter what. It will show your kid how to make oneself happy and not have to rely on others for thrills.

2. Eat good food. It’s good for you, daddy. And you can’t take care of other people if you only have processed, chemical-ridden, nasty junk running through your veins.

3. Read to your kid. Duh.

4. Read them books you think are well-written and smart. Think about what you read them before you read it to them. Because if they like it, they are gonna want to hear you read it EVERY. DAMN. DAY.

5. Ask your kid questions. Serious and difficult and philosophical ones. Like “Do you believe in a god? Many gods? Which ones?Why or why not?” And “Have you ever wondered where your thoughts come from?” And “What did you dream about last night? What do you think dreams mean, if anything?”

6. Get ready to answer those questions yourself. Honestly. And in words that we all understand.

7. When your kid asks you a question that seriously perplexes you, don’t be afraid to tell her that you don’t know. Uncertainty is certain, mommy.

8. Under no circumstances should you produce more than 8. And I must admit here that I think 3 is pushin’ it.

9. Encourage her to be smart and kind. Encourage him to be the same.

10. If you want to make sure your kid hates you, buy them more toys and games and gadgets and what-nots and disposable bullshit than you had as a child. This will also ensure that your kid will hate herself, and everyone you meet will think both you and your kid are total assholes. The same goes for when you become a grandparent. Spoiling is not cute. It’s annoying.

What about you, moms and dads? Any advice for the future parents of the world? Also, I would love to hear from those of you that don’t have kids, what do you think about parenting?

It takes a village, ya know,

Spring

A big, fat THANK YOU for putting up this pink & purple piece near my house:

15th & Lewis, Tulsa.

My love for knit graffiti knows no bounds, as you knitters impress me and utterly warm my heart. To me, knit graffiti is brilliant and revolutionary, and I love how artists use the medium as a way to play within the laws and also to bend and stretch the term “graffiti”. I think it is a challenge to authority that authority can’t even see! It’s a challenge to the traditional organization of public space and municipal design that people sluff (slough) off or excuse or altogether overlook because it has such a “PG” reputation.

So thanks again for bringing this so close to my home. Also, THANK YOU for brightening a day that was otherwise one giant hungover blur!

Spring

We have all heard of the classic Pecan Sandie, yes? But who’s ever heard of a Macadamia Nut Sandie? Nobody, at least according to the internet. Having found no results in a google search of “macadamia sandie,” I’m gonna go ahead and claim that I invented this cookie. I INVENTED A COOKIE!!!

Here’s the delicious recipe from the combined brains of myself and the interminable Martha Stewart. I took her basic Pecan Sandie recipe and more-or-less just replaced the pecans with macadamia nuts.

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
• 1/2 cup packed light-brown sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 cup MACADAMIA NUTS!, coarsely chopped

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees, with racks in upper and lower thirds. In a large bowl, using an electric mixer, beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy; beat in vanilla and salt. With mixer on low, gradually add flour, beating just until combined. Fold in MACADAMIA NUTS.
2. Roll dough into 1 1/2-inch balls, and place on two baking sheets, 2 inches apart. With the dampened bottom of a glass, lightly flatten each ball.
3. Bake until cookies are golden brown, 15 to 17 minutes, rotating sheets halfway through. Transfer to wire racks, and let cool. (To store, keep in an airtight container, up to 5 days.)

Notice the lack of an egg in the recipe? It’s called a “sandie” because it bakes up a bit crumblier or sandier than other cookies without the addition of an egg.

For a sweeter, richer, more gasminyermouth awesomer variation of the Macadamia Nut Sandie, just add caramel drizzle:

I’m so proud of these babies that I’m taking a dozen to my fellow receptionists in the office tomorrow. YAY!

Spring

For those of you who don’t know, I started a job recently as a receptionist. In a state government agency. After 7 years of university and a Master’s degree, I am working an entry-level, no-degree-required job stamping applications, answering phones, and sorting files. Thanks, useless English degree and crap-hole economy!

Still, a couple of things make it one of the most interesting and fascinating experiences of my life so far. One, I get to help people…all kinds of freaks and regular folks. Two, I get benefits so I can go see a BLEEPING doctor without having to save up for the weigh-in. But the best, best, best part is watching the people I work with as if they are characters in a really real reality show.

There’s the sweet, older, cooky lady that wets herself every now-and-then. There’s the former stripper who is now a really smart and tough single mom (not me; i was never a stripper…professionally). There’s the pervy middle-aged guy that gets away with being pervy because he has a slight limp and some mild degenerative muscle disease. There’s the wry, sarcastic gamer guy who is balding prematurely cause he’s so damn bothered by everything not virtual. There’s the partially pilled-out, motorcyle-riding, rocker lady who sometimes is really cool and other times is so blunt she’s just a bitch. There’s the genuinely nice guy who wears cardigans and hip glasses and has a Philosophy degree and that’s precisely why he’s where I am.

Then there’s the ex-jock who has intimidated his way through life and is pissed off because he isn’t the Director of the whole stupid, dysfunctional, bureaucratic mess. And he’s even more pissed off because the Director happens to be a female. Not only that, but she’s a woman… of color! Where do all the former high school quarterbacks go after HS? Where do the Division II linebackers go after getting passed through college by small miracles and athletic advisors? Here. Offices like the one in which I work all over the First World. If I were writing another spin-off of The Office, he would be my David Brent.

Maybe it’s because I’ve watched too much of The Office, but I can’t help but see everyone I work with as some sort of type. Even me. I guess I would be the hopeful yet naive nerd? Or the unstable job dabbler? At any rate, I am truly looking forward to our first big group meeting…I pray somebody breaks out the guitar:

~Okie

Mr. Willie Nelson has always had a soft spot in my heart, a very soft spot. I first fell in love with that voice when my dad bought a generic Best Of Willie Nelson audio cassette tape, probably from a TV info-mercial. It was the late 80s, Best Ofs and info-mercials were big. My dad would play it as we drove around in his big-ass brown and beige dually truck. I insisted that we play “On the Road Again” 18 million times, which took awhile considering we had to wait for the tape to rewind each time in order for the song to repeat. But that voice! It was something else, and I totally felt it even as a 9-year-old. It was like a gorgeous, wise old man. Like a god almost. But a nice, nurturing god. I developed a strange (non-sexual) obsession with old men, old men shoes (like Willie’s signature Wal-mart sneakers), old men clothes (pleated, work jeans and pearl-snap shirts and worn-out t-shirts), etc. when I became a teen-ager, and I’m 100% sure it was due to Willie Nelson’s aura of cool-as-shit. Plus, he looked like my red-headed, freckled grandpa whom I adored.

When I grew up to be a sparkly-country-eyed college girl in New York City, I wasn’t off the boat from Oklahoma more than a week before I began to see the downside of the big city that I had always idealized. It was a stiff and dirty martini, and I just wanted a Coors Light. Then I saw a poster in the live music section of the Village Voice for a Willie Nelson concert. He was playing in a little mid-town bar; the show was 18+  to enter and I was 18.5! Also, he was playing with Merle Haggard (whom I honestly didn’t know except as the other voice in “Poncho & Lefty”) and his little sister Bobbie per usual on piano (“Whenever our band plays, Sister Bobbie is the best musician on the stage,” Willie says). So I called my dad, told him the deal, and asked if he would buy me a ticket. He said of course, be careful, I love you, princess.

I hiked a couple of miles up the island of Manhattan at dusk, and I got to the bar as early as I could. I brought my camera and a pocket tape recorder to record the show for my 5 roommates who were like, “Dude, Spring, you’re crazy. Some old trucker is gonna kidnap you!” And I was like, “Um, I’ll sell my firstborn if the Willie Nelson concert tonight is not the safest place in all of NYC for a young country girl to go by herself.” And they were like “Whatever. Wake us up when you get home.”

Inside the bar, I was standing at the back of a small crown of about 30 middle- and upper-aged folks that all looked like they rode motorcycles and drank Coors Light. They looked like people I had never seen in NYC before. They were wearing denim, the ladies had big perms and highlights in their hair, and they all had beer bellies. They looked like they were from Holdenville, Oklahoma, and clearly so did I. I wasn’t standing at the back of the crowd long when a buzzed-up 50-year-old angelic barfly touched me on the shoulder and asked me if I had ever been to a Willie Nelson show before. I giggled and wrinkled my nose, raised my eyebrows and said nope. She grabbed my hand. Then, “Excuse me, coming through, we got a virgin here!”

And so I watched my first Willie Nelson show in a smmmmmokey bar in NYC at the foot of the stage, and then I waited after the show for him to autograph the tape that I made and… then he kissed me on the cheek! And I haven’t washed it since

I don’t care if his new album Country Music (released on 4/20 by Rounder Records) is being sold at Starbucks. I don’t care that he is a bit financially irresponsible, a bit of a pothead (seriously, people, legalizeit!), and/or a philanderer. He’s TOPS in my book!!!

Much love,

Spring

Well, folks, I am just bustin’ at the seams with gardening excitement and anticipation right now! The problem is that I am an utter novice when it comes to gardening, and I don’t care. Instead of reading and learning everything I should before I start my garden, I am the type to just run out, start digging in the dirt, and toss a bunch of seeds around willy-nilly! But we shall see what becomes of this method, and I’m not too proud to be prepared to learn from my mistakes. Anyway, here’s my back-yard garden (veggies and herbs) so far as of early April:

cute little onion rows

baby cherry tomato plants

oregano and rosemary that had been cooped up inside all winter. they are much happier now.

early bloomer tomato

mr. cilantro and ms. parsley are quite the modern pair of herbs. they each need their own space.

Okay, I know that last picture just looks like dirt in a square plot divided by a stick, but it’s really parsley and cilantro. One of them is sprouting in the lower right-hand corner, can you see it if you squint? I also plan to plant okra back there, but I will wait until next week to sew those seeds. Maaaaaaaan, I’ve got a boner just thinking about the bounty!!!

Since I planted all this stuff, I started to become slightly obsessed with reading about gardening. My favorite lately is reading about edible landscaping. Apparently, a long time ago and somewhere in Europe, society people decided that edible food belonged in the backyard and front-yard gardens were only for ornamental plants, flowers, trees, and shrubs. The logic was that wealthy individuals could show off their position in society through a façade that was merely ornamental instead of practical. They could show off the fact that they didn’t have to grow their own food, they could just buy it. Also, they liked to show off how much disposable income they had to pay yard servants to care for the estate’s lawn and garden, cuz gawdknows they weren’t gonna create or maintain the garden with their own ivory hands. They’d rather look at it, sit in it, “enjoy” it. Pshaw!

And so, in a rebellious act of unmatched proportions, this year I will also plant edibles in my front yard! Because not only are edible berry (blueberry, blackberry, strawberry) bushes awesome, they are beautiful! More on this project as it unfolds. (And just in case you were wondering, i will be using NO inorganic chemical sprays, *cough* pesticides, or *cough* fertilizers. *COUGH!*)

What about YOU, are you planting anything edible this year, my dears? Do tell…

Spring

Here’s some pictures from his home:

“Like many contemporary artists, Mr. Anthony concerns himself with taxonomies, exploring questions of identity — familial, racial, biological and so forth. Unlike most contemporary artists, he was educated not at art school but in the woods here, where he skinned snakes, hunted raccoons and alligators and dug up arrowheads and fossils.”

On the list TO DO this summer: roadtrip with daughter to see artist Butch Anthony’s home/ compound/ studio/ artsy log cabin in rural Alabama.

Yee haw!

Spring

Just in case you are one of the few individuals left on Earth who thought I was cool (hi Mom!), I’m here today to let you know that I am not. I’m a big ole nerd, and I totally want this:

It’s a bracelet crated by metalsmith Tinahdee and engraved with the entire Preamble to the Constitution of the United States of America!!! OMG!!!

Even though some of the authors of the Preamble to the Constitution mainly thought of white, land-owning men as “the people,” I’m glad to know that words evolve and societies evolve, and now we live in an America where we are all “the people!” Aren’t you? We are all people, even those of us who are new to this country, like immigrants who aren’t yet citizens. I don’t know why, but I was a bit surprised to see these words by George Washington:

The bosom of America is open to receive not only the Opulent & respectable Stranger,
but the oppressed & persecuted of all Nations & Religions;
whom we shall wellcome to a participation of all our rights & previleges.

That was part of his address to Irish Immigrants on December 2, 1783.  Eh, so he (or the guy who wrote it) spelt privileges incorrectly? Who among us is perfect? Anyway, I’m totally saving up to buy this bracelet, and I think it’s gonna catch on in the fashion world. Patriotism’s so hot right now.

Yours in patriotism, fashion trends and person-hood,

Spring

Reading this nice, short article about the importance of break-up songs written by one of my favorite writers of break-up songs, Thao Nguyen.

Making a zoetrope with my daughter and her daddy.

Meeting a friend for lunch at Big Al’s (if you love veggies, ask for the Sarah Special!) and getting inspired to job-hunt again. I’m also grateful for friends helping me out so much! People are good.

Applying for a State Job! I liked it because I finally found where people who don’t work at Universities and/or non-profits work (or attempt to find work). I saw sooooo many interesting folks whom I immediately wanted to befriend. The life stories I imagined! My favorite was the 77-year-old Supervisor lady with a silver side ponytail and a loose-fitted tweed pantsuit. If I get a job anywhere near her, she better be ready to chat!

Watching a cute, li’l documentary about the crafting and DIY revolution in America.

And FINDING MY CAMERA (!!!) so I can take pictures of stuff and show the pictures to people!

What did you love this week?

Spring

Hat tips all around to the Oklahoma Food Cooperative!  Two representatives, April Harrington and Kara Joy McKee, attended an international conference in Washington, D.C., in January 2010 to present information about the Oklahoma Food Co-op (OKF).  Harrington owns Earth Elements Market and Bakery in Lexington, OK, and McKee is the new General Operations Manager of OKF.  Here are some highlights from McKee’s article at Voices of Oklahoma, which I encourage you to check out in full (just follow the link in the sentence)…

***The OKF had been chosen to participate in the Wallace Foundation’s 2009 Community Food Enterprise study, which sought to identify the most promising and innovative local food projects going on today. They were impressed enough to invite us to be one of only three presenters out of twelve U.S. enterprises in the study.

***As the Wallace Foundation describes us, “The Oklahoma Food Cooperative is a new concept in food distribution. It brings together regional food producers and consumers through an easy-to-navigate website. With a statewide network of volunteers, the enterprise pumps nearly $1 million into the pockets of local food producers each year. The model is so simple, so inexpensive, and so effective that it has spread to Idaho, Texas, Michigan, Iowa, Kansas, Colorado, and two locations in Ontario, Canada.”

***The participants were mightily impressed that we managed to distribute nearly $700,000 worth of local food and other products in 2009 without a single full time employee.  They cheered us on for our community involvement, accessible leadership structure, and our 7 percent rate of growth during the hard economic times of 2009.

***Study author Michael Schuman said that local food enterprises are becoming competitive through strategies such as marketing a higher quality product, working  together with local partners, integrating vertically, doing outreach to low income neighbors, and developing new strategies for distribution, “such as the Oklahoma Food Coop who has brought the cost of distribution including transport, packaging and marketing down from 73 to18 cents on the dollar.”

Way to go, Okies!
Beamish