feminist blogs

Many conferences have a quiet, dark secret. The folks attending share some longing yet to be fulfilled, some disappointments buried deep, some ideas that will never become actions. Many professional conferences (like the one I’m skipping this weekend) are marked by a faint whisper of “you’re not good enough” to be here, giving a presentation, chairing a symposium, or holding forth in the hallway chitchat.

But not BlogHer.

BlogHer has something else– a bight shiny secret. It’s so bright and so shiny you can hardly imagine it’s a secret, except it is a secret, until we are all together.

What is BlogHer’s secret?

I was trying to explain what was so unique about BlogHer to my friend LW, who will be at BlogHer for the first time this weekend. We were at a preBlogHer meet up, surrounded by these interesting women who blog about things the two of us don’t know anything about (e.g., single parenting, Celiac disease, Nia).

Many of these women are domestic bloggers (“domestic” being my word for all things home, mommy & parenting), while others blog for specific causes. These women each participate their own communities, communities LW and I aren’t familiar with. These women share insights we can’t quite appreciate, because each of us is quite different from the other.

Except at BlogHer, where we are all alike.

At BlogHer, we’re alike, because we each have the same bright shiny thing.

We each have a voice and we each use that voice.

When we come together at the conference, our bright shiny things create BlogHer’s secret:

BlogHer is a conference about women’s empowerment.

Every single woman (and man) there, has a voice, and she is using that voice. She is using her voice on her blog, in her network, on Twitter, and with her Flickr stream. She’s using it to show us how to change the world at work and at home. She’s using it to add her support to MomsRising. She’s using it to move towards the White House. She’s using her voice to do whatever the heck is important to her.

Each woman at BlogHer has claimed her own power in a domain that matters to her.

She has taken charge of a key element of her life, and she’s letting us know about it.

What makes BlogHer kind of crazy, and absolutely special, is that for many of us BlogHer is one of the few places we can be surrounded by women like us, women with voices that we are using. Women who have given themselves and keep giving themselves the power to speak out.

At BlogHer, everyone else assumes that you have a voice. Everyone assumes there is something you care about. At BlogHer we jump over that part. BlogHer is all about the next step– taking that voice, honing it, directing it, and making it more influential.

At BlogHer, you can be confident that whoever you talk to “gets it”. She knows what it’s like to have a voice and use it, in a world where we are still expected to be quiet.

So if you’re at BlogHer for the first time this weekend, and you feel overwhelmed by the noise, take heart. It’s 2,500 women and 2,500 voices. It’s 2,500 women who know how to speak up, who have things to say, and who are ready to listen– to you.

See also:
Find Your Tribe at BlogHer: MeetUp for Leadership, Business & Organization Change Bloggers

BlogHer 09: Does Swag Pervert the Purpose?
Image:  I hold disco in the palm of my hand, from bookgrl on Flickr

BlogHer is a great place to meet other women who are trying to change the world with their blogging.

Everyone you meet there has some kind of expertise and insights to share. Almost everyone there can find someone else who blogs about similar issues, and get connected to a tribe.  There are many ‘domestic’ bloggers who write about home, marriage, family, and parenting. There are political bloggers who address government, policy, campaigns, and party politics. And there are lots of advocacy blogges, who work to create supportive communities around an issue. All of these bloggers are plentiful at BlogHer and can find their tribes easily.

Sadly, though, it can be really hard to find your tribe if your tribe is small. [Read on if you're going to BlogHer...]

In my experience at BlogHer9 last year in Chicago, it was virtually impossible to find women who blog about leadership, organizational change, and the world of work.

We women are out there– I see us on Twitter all the time. But I want an easier way to find each other at BlogHer this year. I want a way to find our tribe!

4 Ways to Find the Leadership Bloggers Tribe

1. Add your name, url, and twitter handle to the comment section below. I’ll gather these to create an email list where I can send any update about a meetup location.

2. Cluster in the top left quadrant during the “Speed Dating” introductory event (details below).

3. Help to create a “Birds of a Feather” table at lunch on Friday.

4. Meet in a specific spot at one of the open parties.

1. Add your name, url, and twitter handle to the comment section below.

I’ll gather these to create an email list where I can send any update about a meetup location. Also, we can share this list to find and follow each other online.

2. Cluster in the top left quadrant during the “Speed Dating” introductory event.

On Friday morning, in the first session, there will be an activity called speed dating– where we line up in a double circle (a circle within a circle) facing each other, and then pair by pair introduce ourselves to the person opposite us. If we gather in the same general location on that circle, we’ll be more likely to meet more people in our tribe rather than just a completely random set of interesting women bloggers.

To find the top left quadrant, face the stage, stick our your left hand, and wave it from your nose to your left ear.

3. Create a Birds of a Feather Table

in past years, BlogHer has organized some lunch tables around certain themes (e.g., feminism, autism, crafts). Anyone could sign up on a list to take a seat at that table, and be guaranteed to find some women in her tribe. I made two great friends this way last year. If I can, I’ll try to get Leadership Bloggers as a topic for BOF– if not, we can do this informally by sitting near each other at the open tables. if you do #1, I can find you electronically and let your know what’s happening.

4. Finally, there’s the “Let’s Party” option.

There are lots of parties to attend, but often no one you know to talk to. Sure, your can be brave and meet people, and you can also look for folks you expect to be there– lie other women     Leadership Bloggers. Again, if you do #1, I can find you and let you know of any party plans.

Other ideas? Please let me know via email or Twitter

@cvharquail use #Blogher hashtag

harquail at authenticorganizations dot com

Back when I thought that I would be going to Blogher 2010, I submitted a bunch of posts for the Blogher Voice of the Year contest. Yes, it's a contest. People read the entries, people vote and only a few get to read their post to the conference. Anywho, I didn't win, but I am a finalist. And as such will be celebrated at the Blogher 2010 Gala and Art Auction. So yeah for not winning!

My not-quite-winning post was one that I wrote for Girl w/Pen on the balance between human life and scientific discoveries/guidelines in light of the new mammogram guidelines.

I'm happy that my writing was honored, giddy that it was something on Girl w/Pen and fucking off the wall that it was in the Geeky/Nerdy category. I'm disappointed that I won't be there for the Gala, but I couldn't do both Bloger and Netroots. A grrl on a budget has to make choices.

“It’s an honor just being nominated.” That’s what the celebrities always say as they walk the red carpet. Well, guess what?  It’s a thrill being named a finalist in the 2010 BlogHer Voices of the Year Awards for our post about the red carpet: “FTC Regulates the Red Carpet.” On August 6, BlogHer and social media site [...]

Not long after I first started using Twitter – which was about the same time I finally began this blog – there was a great deal of Tweeting about BlogHer '09. It sounded like the place everybody who was a female blogger wanted to be. There was controversy – something about "swag," excessive freebies that [...]

There are 3 things that really seem to validate a blogger:

1. Creating a s*&#%storm Breaking a controversial story and getting tens of thousands of new visitors and dozens of trolls to your blog,

2. Going to a blog insiders’ conference like BlogHer and having people recognize your blog, and

3. Meeting Gary Vaynerchuk.

I am pleased to say that as of last Friday, AuthenticOrganizations.com and I have accomplished the third item on the list.

Who is Gary Vaynerchuk?

If you work at all in the online space, you’ve heard of GaryVaynerchuk. It you haven’t heard of him, take a look at the NYT Business Best-seller List. GaryV has made his name through WineLibrary.com, where he has been one of the first and one of the most aggressive adopters of each social media tool that’s become important.

And, like so many of us who work online and offline, he has become an expert at using social media to build his business and his personal brand.

What distinguishes GaryV from other early adopters of social media have been his ambition, his enthusiasm, and his willingness to take risks.

I’ve been bemused by GaryV as an online presence — he’s remarkable, and unique, and also sort of loud and brash. My sense of Gary was that he was a little self-important, maybe verging on being a bit of a “jerk-in-a-nice-way”.

So far, the closest our paths have come is that GaryV and I are speakers for the same NYU Entrepreneurship-in-action class (on different days, but it still feels like being part of the in-crowd). When I heard that Vaynerchuk would be giving a talk and a book signing at our neighborhood independent book store, I thought it might be worth the walk over there to check him out. I’m so glad that I went, not only to hear him talk but to see him in action.

After hearing GaryV speak, seeing him interact with others, and meeting him myself, I’m convinced that the guy is the real deal: funny, self-deprecating, self-confident, warm, self-reflective and authentic. He’s even more fun in real life than he is in his online keynotes and webisodes.

What’s more, he really has developed some unique insights about social media, in part because he has set some high standards for himself (e.g., reply to every email) and in part because he  allows invites challenges himself to experiment and fail and experiment again.

Three observations about GaryV ‘in real life’ :

• GaryV is the most extroverted person I’ve ever met.
  Despite how weary Gary must have been from his crazy book tour, he got recharged with each and every personal interaction.

• GaryV was able to stop and dwell in his interactions with each person who came up to have a book signed.
  He was happy to pose for pictures with just about anyone, and he took his time with each of us. No one felt rushed; instead, we felt welcomed. This was the single loveliest thing about the evening, just having the chance to watch someone be authentic, maybe even to go beyond their ‘personal brand promise’.

• GaryV’s heart is bigger than his ego or his ambition.

GaryV attracts a good crowd

I wished that we’d been able to grab all 25-30 people at the book signing to take them out for a beer a glass of wine. I was so curious to hear what other people had learned and what new things they were planning to do based on GaryV’s insights. We did manage to get some friends of friends to join us for dinner, and we had 2 hours of some of the best ‘how can I make my business better?’ conversation ever.

Why is meeting GaryV a validation?

I said that meeting GaryV was a validation– and you may ask, just how does that work? Why does meeting some “web celeb” ® validate you?

It’s not so much that what GaryV has to say validates any of us who blog, but more that his insights help confirm that blogging and social media can influence people in ways that make (more of) a difference.

If only I were a better multi-tasker, or just less polite with my Flip cam. I would have saved some of GaryV’s comments to muse on later. Let me leave you with just this one:

The best thing you can do for your business online is to scale up your caring.

How might things change, if all of us did that?

Be sure to see:

Gary Vaynerchuck Is One Inspiring Man (by TK Hamilton)
Crush It! A book review (wineconversation.com)
Blogher’s Lisa Stone on the power of women bloggers (reportr.net)

Ah, Blogher fumes still rumbling thru my veins...

So Florinda mentions TWICE my most embarrassing moment of Blogher. She asked me for an autograph on the Ms. magazine that I just handed her. I laughed and saw she was dead serious. It was extra funny because my husband had just been teasing me the day before about "When is your signing at Women & Children First?" But Florinda was serious and since I love her so, I took her pen, my pen?, and signed my name under my photo. I meant to write a peace symbol and then my name. But it came out as [Peace sign], [heart] and feminism.

Then came my favorite sluts...I gave them a copy of the magazine before the panel started. After I composed myself from signing Florinda's copy, one of them asked me to autograph their copy with a fushia Sharpie. More nervous chuckling.

By now my dear readers, you should know that while I'm excited about all the stuff I do, I am also a horrible promoter. I'm currently fundraising to hire Cinnamon for that role. I'm only a few thousand short, so someone give me a huge ass book deal! haha...Seriously thou, I'm awful at it, thou I am getting better. But the thought of anyone wanting my autograph is too overwhelming for me to really comprehend, so it pushes me to being more embarrassed than anything. I guess cause I just don't know how to handle it.

So what was the most kick ass moment of Blogher? Introducing friends to Gloria Feldt. I mean, hello!? How many years have I been getting mass emails & snail mail from her about Planned Parenthood? And because of the Progressive Women's Voices program, I know her well enough to introduce her around. Oh, yeah...now that's bad ass.

But it helped show me (and it should you too) that we're all experts at something (thanks Katie) and well, blogging is one of the things I'm an expert at. I might not be a Forbes Power Mom blogger, but I know a thing or two about this medium. I also love, love, LOVE connecting amazing women to each other. I am the human LinkedIn/Friend Finder. And honestly, I love it because I can talk until my neighbors come home about you and this other amazing woman. And yes, that means I don't have to talk about me! Perfect, eh?

So if you ever pay me a compliment and I get all "aw, shucks..." that really is how I am. And while it is embarrassing, it's also pretty fab too. Thanks.

Walking into my office this morning, I tripped over a ‘rubber bracelet cum flash drive’ that was part of the swag I brought back with me from Chicago and the 2009 BlogHer.

That clumsy move plus a few friends’ Tweets about supposedly free swag costing them money to ship home, made me wonder about how swag and the pursuit of swag may have distracted BlogHer attendees from their larger purpose for attending the conference. And, it made me wonder how swag and the distribution of swag may have distracted BlogHer as an organization from its larger purpose.

To understand this dynamic, you need to know that

(1) Swag is the free stuff that  organizations give away– the pens, the flash drives, the mousepads, the product samples — as a way to advertise their organization and/or product.

(2) BlogHer is the annual conference, and companion website & ad network, that has brought together a diverse community of women (and some men) bloggers.

Bloggers go to the BlogHer conference to meet each other IRL, to share writing & tech advice, and to learn how to develop their blogging skills, their online communities, and their overall purpose.

BlogHer exists as an organization  “To create opportunities for women who blog to pursue exposure, education, community, and economic empowerment.”

My experience as a member and my perceptions as an observant, organizational scholar both confirm that, overall, BlogHer is doing a really really good job creating these opportunities. So, in the big picture, the whole swag issue at BlogHer was mostly a distraction. However, it’s a distraction that could signal a trending away from BlogHer’s core purpose.

Here are just a few of the swag related problems I saw:

• Online conversation leading up to the conference was full of references on what swag would be availabe, where to get it, how to get it home. Some conversation, but in my opinion not enough, addressed why the swag was going to be there in the first place.

• Not enough of the conversation addressed how to really make the most of your participation in sessions or how to find your tribe of like-minded bloggers.

• Efforts to acquire swag changed the participation patterns of many attendees. People went to exhibits instead of community keynotes to get the Walmart cookies or the Disney Ice Creams (which were, btw, very tasty).

• Parties were so loud crowded you couldn’t hear yourself Twitter, much less talk to anyone.

• People went to and stayed at parties only until the swag bags were handed out.

• The minute it was announced that the swag was being distributed, the whole physical shape of the room would change, from clusters of women talking to a line of women waiting.

• The energy dynamic shifted from meeting & greeting other bloggers to getting & vetting the swag.
  [I did have one interesting conversation with a sex blogger about the Moxie doll we both received at one party. Personally, I was turned off by the doll's dominatrix outfit, but the sex blogger saw it as a blog topic opportuntity. Mileage varies. I gave my doll to the sex blogger. ]

• Swag distribution events created ‘in crowds’ and outsiders, as some bloggers were wisked Swiffer - ed away to private parties and sent back with free Nikon cameras, and other bloggers took swag bags at parties they hadn’t rsvp’d to (leaving the bag’s intended recipient empty-handed– and pissed).

I love free stuff as much as the next former graduate student. I still attend conference meetings for the free Swedish meatballs even though I can buy my own at IKEA, so I was no paragon of anti-acquisitive virtue. But I did push myself to recognize that, after the PBS booklights and Croc sandals for my girls, and the Izzy T shirt for me, I had all the swag that I needed. I didn’t need to troll the exhibit area or stop off at another party for any more ‘free’ stuff. Unless Ann Taylor was giving away free earrings. Those I’d have left a Geek session for.

Anyway, see what I mean?

I did a mini-experiment, trying to see how the swag giveaway process worked from the side of the giv-er. I walked down the hallway handing out 2/3rds of the chocolate and toys from the Allstate Anti-Driving While Texting Gift Basket I won in a raffle, taking deep breaths and trying to swap greediness for generosity as my dominant vibe.

But oddly, although folks were happy to take the cell phone parking pads and the Gerber babyfood samples, giving these things away didn’t create new relationships for me with other bloggers. Funny how that didn’t work.

I wonder how well it worked for BlogHer, as an organization?

Some of the swagging was from the conference sponsors, who had every reason to expect that the conference would support the distribution of their marketing messages. After all, that’s why they were sponsors. And we attendees got that. We understood that the conference was affordable (and even offered scholarships) because the sponsors paid a fee to be featured.

Former marketer that I am, I did my personal best to support the sponsors that were relevant to my blogging practice. I watched the Bing demonstration and learned how to print trifold brochures on an HP printer. I opined to the Verizon vlogger on appropriate cell phone etiquette. And, I expressed my dismay to the StoneyField yogurt marketing exec that they were discontinuing their MochaLatte flavor. This all was fairly useful interaction with sponsors.

But what wasn’t so useful, to me as a BlogHer participant, were the unofficial sponsors, like the companies behind the exclusive private parties who sapped participant attention away from the blogging practice sharing & community building interactions that the BlogHer conference is supposed to be about. If the crowds around the official swag weren’t bad enough, the distinctions created by the private swag rent the fabric of the community.

Where do you draw the line?

Sponsorship, and thus swag, makes the conference run. But too much swag perverts the conference purpose.

Me, I knew where to draw the line.

My checked luggage was 8 lbs. over weight, and since I wasn’t about to pay $50 to check an ‘overweight bag’, I unzipped my Tumi (they weren’t a BlogHer sponsor- should have been) and handed out some of my swag to airport passersby. Yes, I was the woman giving out free samples of Tide over by the American Airlines counter. But again, giving out this free stuff didn’t create any new relationships for me.

Maybe I was doing the swag thing wrong? Maybe I don’t really know how to use the swag to create or support a community?

But tell me, what does it take to do it right?

Photos by Liz Henry & I should be folding on Flickr

and I'm pooped!

But as is par for the course, life's roller coaster keeps chugging up that hill.

I was lucky enough to get a small number of Ms. magazine copies to pass out at Blogher and I've already gotten word that some stores are selling it despite an August 4th news stand date. This means that I need to brace myself for a small uptick in traffic.

I have to laugh at this because I spoke this morning at the National Council for La Raza (ya know, Sotomayor's racist organization!) on social media and one of the last questions was about rankings. I told the man (damn, what was his blog again? This is what happens when I'm on stage without a pen!) that I gave up on my stats and rankings a long time ago. I gave up because I know I'm listed on some pretty big blogs exclusive blogrolls. I know that I go to places like La Raza & Blogher and get "I love your blog!" comments from people who I have no idea who they are. Thus, stats can suck it. Feedburner, Google stats, Google rank and especially Technorati seem to be unable to explain why I seem to be fairly popular. I'm not A-list, but I'm not totally D-list anymore. But that's not why I missed the D-List lunch - I swear I thought we were having breakfast! haha...

But I'll be back at the La Raza conference for a short event on Monday and part of Tuesday burning up my press pass.

And if you read my blog on my blog instead of a RSS reader (it's ok, that's how I read your blog too.) you might notice that my Blogher button has been replaced by a Blogalicious button! Oh yes, I'll be traveling to Atlanta to hang with fellow women of color bloggers & some of our super kewl white girlfriends.

BUT...that will be after I get back from Tampa for the Florida Consortium for Women's Studies. I submitted a proposal to look at how the increase in women in general on campuses might be helping the increase of women in STEM. A total, total preliminary study, but I'm hoping that it will give me some direction for some research projects.

Whew!

Like I said, the roller coaster keeps chugging along. Some days I feel like I'm being run over or dragged, but more often than not, I'm enjoying the ride.

And to all my coworkers who read Ms and now have found my blog, Hi!

You might have clicked on that link in your latest Blogher Attendee newsletter and found yourself here.

First let me say thanks for clicking! Or oops, you clicked, but stay a moment.

Next, come say hi to me at the "Leadership: What is "Pro-Woman" in a Post-Palin World?" panel on Friday! It's at 2:45 pm. So take your break before me. I'm sure it's gonna be a fab conversation.

Lastly, don't forget why my link was even in the Blogher newsletter - BlogHer SOS!



And I do have to give 100% of the credit for the idea to Kim and the info on Deborah's Place to my fabu coworkers who helped organize a similar donation drive earlier this year. See my friends, that's my real #1 skill - networking - I get people together. So make sure you get together with me this coming weekend so I can hook ya up later on.