feminist blogs

I've stopped blogging for a few reasons, 1) because I've been really busy with work and the SPCA and my "real life" and 2) because I've just grown really weary of the same old blog wars being fought over and over and over.

I realize that not all feminists agree with one another or have the same priorities and I kind of don't give a shit. I'm so over the bickering back an forth over small and large things with other women.

There are plenty of MEN with actual POWER who are ACTIVELY trying to harm women - financially, spiritually, sexually, physically, and emotionally. I feel like my anger and resentment and outrage are better directed at them rather than other women who may or may not share their same goals.

Yes, there are women who are assholes and who are trying to fuck shit up for other women, but there are ten times as many men doing the same shit or worse and that's where I want to focus my attention.

So here are some things that have been running through my mind lately:

* Since when did they revoke a woman's "right" to pole dance?
* Since when did they shut down the strip clubs and end prostitution?
* Since when did they end racist, sexist pornography, advertising, television programs, radio shows etc. being broadcast?

As far as I know, the answer is since never. All of those things are increasing exponentially and becoming more and more mainstream and normalized and "appreciated" by liberals and conservatives alike so I'm not sure why the pro-porn crowd is so fixated on shutting up radical feminists. It's not like anyone listens to us or respects us or cares about what we have to say anyway.

Also:

* If stripping and porn are so "empowering", why don't more feminist women aspire to it and more feminist parents encourage their daughters to pursue it?
* If porn and prostitution are so "empowering", why do the majority of porn stars and prostitutes try to retire as soon as possible or move "up the ladder" into pimping instead of continuing to do porn or turn tricks? (i.e. Why is Jenna Jameson writing books now instead of still starring in porn?)
* If you're a "sex-positive" feminist do you use prostitutes? Why or why not?
* If you're a "sex-positive" feminist why aren't you a prostitute or a stripper or a porn star?
* If you think sexwork is so positive and feminist and empowering why aren't you doing it?

It just seems like in theory sexwork is AWESOME! But the sad fact of the matter is that sexwork isn't just theory, it's real life and women and children are raped, battered, abused, kidnapped, tortured, trafficked and murdered everyday as a result of the sex "industry" and men's demands for new, younger victims, and more degrading, disgusting fetishes.

No one is taking away your dirty magazines or your stripper poles or your HOOTERS girls, for the love of Maude, so I have no idea why there's such a concerted effort to terrorize and harass and shutdown radfem blogs.

Why don't you stop acting like the victim of radical feminists who have exactly zero power and focus on the TRUE victims of sexwork and work with us to end trafficking and exploitation and child rape?

"Sex-positive" feminists say they are against trafficking and want to help the victims who want to get out but whenever radical feminists talk or write about that, "sex-positive" feminists always seem to turn the discussion back to the so-called "happy hookers". If we were talking about ending world hunger would the focus always have to be on middle-class women and fad diets? Those who choose to skip meals?

Anyway, that's what I've been thinking lately, and why I haven't been posting. It's just exhuasting to read all the same old bullshit everyday when there's real fucking work to be done. I've been doing it instead of just reading or arguing about it.

School starts on Monday so I'm thinking about closing this blog. I don't have the time to monitor it anymore and I don't want to worry about it being hacked or destroyed by MRAs and their supporters like so many of my favorite radfem blogs have been lately. I'm going to leave it up for now, but you might want to bookmark any of your favorite blogs in my blogroll just in case.

Namaste.

my ass.

SFPD veteran charged in molest case

Sgt. Donald Forte, 58, was charged by Alameda County prosecutors with committing a lewd and lascivious act with a child of 14 or 15 years of age by someone at least 10 years older. He was released from Santa Rita Jail in Dublin on Friday after posting bail.

The girl was a 14-year-old prostitute whom Forte picked up on the 1700 block of International Boulevard in East Oakland on Thursday night, police said. The sergeant alleged agreed to pay her $50 and took her to Calcot Place, a dead-end street near the 23rd Avenue on-ramp to Interstate 880, police said.

I wonder how "empowered" and "independent" and "free" she was to "choose" the glorious life of prostitution, to be raped and molested by those who are paid to protect her.

Totally vomit inducing, especially after reading all the pro-john bullshit over on that feministe thread.

Everyone goes on and on and on about how important it is to listen to sexworkers when it comes to their health and safety, but apparently that only extends to the sexworkers who say what the pro-pornstitution crowd want to hear. When radfems want to discuss the health and safety of the vast majority of sexworkers and what they actually say, the ones who want out immediately, we're accused of disrespecting and derailing.

Well excuse the fuck out of me, but I totally don't respect a bunch of johns defending their right to a ceaseless supply of pussy and I'd like to see every last one of them behind bars.

of Sam's brilliant writing: (via Witchy)

As the woman who put the berg in Genderberg, it’s time I said a few words publicly about the recent fracas.

Everyone gets harassed online, which doesn’t make it right, just common. It’s in vogue this week to kvetch about the gobs of sexist harassment encountered online and pretty much anything I could say on that subject has already been said.

However, vitriol towards anti-pornography and anti-prostitution feminists has been screeching at a fever pitch since the 70s when the first serious challenges to male sexual entitlement were made. There are death-threateningly good reasons MacKinnon and other anti-pornography feminists are protective about their personal information.

Genderberg is one teensy e-space where anti-pornstitution activists of all stripes, shapes and colors don’t have to face opposition to their viewpoints. It’s a place for prostituted women to find others steaming mad about the way they were abused and exploited, for activists to refuel during and after a tough debate, and for the very small but robust community of radical feminists to meet for tip swapping and talent sharing as we do the soul-rending work that is seeking to stop the rapes of the world’s most raped women.

To all who thought it was okay to repost a private opinion from a place you know strives for privacy because it deals with the deeply personal subject of sexual violence, I have only one question: How could you repost what you knew to be a violation of sexually-abused women’s safe space without even asking to know the name of the person who wrote it? Of course the snitch knew Pony wrote that RenEv was a paid tool of the porniarchy. Not a one of you harpies hovering over radfem blogs and licking your chops for something meaty to pounce on insisted your supposedly anonymous source (I don’t believe none of you knows who did it) reveal the author of the post.

With glee you told people I wrote those words and even since Pony claimed them I have seen others refer to it as “What Genderberg is about” though Pony was but one member; she left the forum. For that I will not forgive a one of you unethical bloggers who reposted what was written in confidence at a private place that I’m responsible for making as safe for prostitution survivors as possible. Organizing sexually traumatized people is like herding cats that have been put in sacks and beaten with sticks and I don’t care what any of you think of Pony, I value the way she wears her heart on her sleeve and will miss her contributions.

What’s that you say? You didn’t mean to violate the feeling of trust I and the other 100+ members of Genderberg worked hard to build at our forum, didn’t mean pull the rug out from under women who have had a lifetime of rugs being pulled out from under them? Like hell you didn’t. Everyday I can hear you smacking your lips in anticipation of a radfem slip up you can make an exaggerated stink about. The gotcha joy you felt before running off half-cocked to say/insinuate I wrote those words was what the snitch was counting on. You know as well as I do that if Pony’s name was on it from the beginning it would’ve been easily dismissed. Smearing the whole of Genderberg and all its antiporn members was the point of the no-name leak as that goofy new blog affirmed and your re-snitching of an anonymous post achieved.

Libel is publicly lying about someone, which Pony never did because her opinion was written privately. The person who stole from Genderberg did something illegal. I have little faith in the legal system to stand up for my rights since the she-pimps at $pread Magazine broke the law by stealing my writing, changing key points, and removing my name after I explicitly denied them permission to publish a letter not written to them. For all the hot air about defending women’s choices, pornstitution’s defenders seem to have a hard time respecting the choices women make when they feel they have a “right” to steal what isn’t theirs. The law and ethics are on our side.

The majority of Genderberg’s forums are readable by anyone. Contrary to some paranoiac ramblings, women in pornstitution are not the focus of the private forums nearly as much as members sharing actions, articles, and anti-demand strategies. We vary in opinions but one constant is we don’t like prostituting men and seek to hold them accountable for what they do. It’s easy to get caught up in political battles and personal fighting, and when diversions are intended to draw people away from prostituting men and towards the exceptionally small number of women who support them we can lose sight of who really provides the reasons feminists have to fight against sexual capitalism. I would rather debate tricking men than any woman who puts herself between me and sexual exploiters, but in case you haven’t noticed there are no spokesjohns among the almost unanimous liberal men who roundly show support in all lefty media for “a woman’s right” to suck their dicks for cash.

When you constantly attack radfems as individuals and maliciously penetrate our badly-needed privacy instead of addressing the astonishingly solid arguments against pornstitution and men’s right to sex on demand you show your pro-john, pro-capitalism position to be as weak as we say it is. If you want to poke holes in our arguments then take your best shots, but stop poking holes in our fragile community because you lack the evidence and ability to argue that sustaining men’s right to demand sex from women is a feminist act.

amen, sister.

it's amazing what a night out with my wimmin friends can do for my spirits. (not to mention what some spirits can do for my spirits!)

boo and christina and i kicked off the weekend at the "cheeky" reception friday night, which was actually quite nice and understated. although amelia was running late and we didn't get to see her, all of the artwork there was excellent and jennifer at porcelynne was really cool.

we split after about an hour and headed to delirium where we were promptly ignored by the rude bartender who clearly wasn't the cool bartender i'm used to. we fumed over the fact that we tipped him a buck on every drink even though he was a dick and chastized ourselves for not being tougher and stiffing him. i swear, this being "nice" crap that women are taught from birth is a real pain. i'm sure he wouldn't have hesitated to stiff us if the roles were reversed and we'd been as rude and inattentive to him. one of these days, i swear!!!

(a random woman at the bar was reading the s.c.u.m. manifesto though, so that kind of made up for it.)

saturday i made chile rellenos from scratch because i couldn't find canned peppers anywhere. i broiled, steamed, and peeled the fresh peppers which is a lot more complicated than i expected. i tore the crap out of a few of them so they weren't as pretty as i'd hoped. i'm calling it a practice run though, and i think my next effort will be magnifico! also, as to the kind of cheese to use: i used monterey jack cut into thick, square cylinders and shoved down in there. they melted just fine and the consistency was perfect. like fried cheese sticks. yum!

and finally, yesterday i spent the morning at the shelter petting cats and the rest of the day studying my spanish lessons. our midterm is next monday so i'm freaking out a bit. we're getting our tests back tonight so hopefully i did well and won't feel so stressed for the next one. i'm a worrier though, so i'll probably stress no matter what.

but hey, enough about me, how 'bout the rukus that hateful ol' ann coulter started, eh? isn't it amazing how the assholery of liberal, white dudes can reveal itself and even overshadow the assholery of the right? as usual, twisty nails it in one perfect sentence:

(”You dumb feminists had better be nicer to us or we will stop pretending that your oppression bothers us, and then where will you be … “)

when perverts aren't finding my blog by searching for "girls taking shits" or "free rape porn", other strangers stumble upon it by searching for "anti-porn feminists". sometimes i'll click on the link the anti-porn searcher used to find my blog just to see what else is out there on the subject. today i found this:

Sex and Feminism: Who Is Being Silenced?

Leftist publications have a problem with radical feminism. They have long maintained an informal ban against publishing radical feminist writers. They refuse to grapple with radical feminism's critique of male supremacist sexuality as a system of oppression of women. They generally pretend radical feminists don't exist, except for Andrea Dworkin and Catherine MacKinnon, whose names they try to weld into keywords for "censorship," "anti-sex," and "bad kind of feminist."

Leftist publications do publish liberal feminists and leftist women, thanks in part to the pressures of the feminist movement. There's a tiny bit of space given to women in the Nation, a little bit more in Z Magazine, and a generous bit more in the Progressive. But whatever the ratio, all publishing access comes under the provisions of an underlying contract: "We will publish your writing. We will even allow you to be stars. Just don't go there -- where Catherine MacKinnon, Andrea Dworkin, and those nameless radical feminists go. That's taboo territory. Don't even think about respectfully engaging with these feminists. If you join their ranks, we will treat you the way we treat them. If you even look like their friend, you will no longer be welcome here. We will reward you, so long as you don't cross that line."

After decades of this divide-and-conquer strategy, radical feminists might hope that sexist men on the left would simply tire themselves out. After all, how can they keep pummeling those who are made invisible? How can they both bash and erase, year after year? How can they keep getting liberal and leftist women to follow their rules, almost without exception?

Unfortunately, no one is getting tired -- except perhaps radical feminists. Women who move in leftist and liberal publishing circles know the rules of the contract, and more and more of them make these rules their own. Many of them take the initiative to bash and erase the "bad feminists" (the two that exist) as a pledge of allegiance to the men and the system around them.

(read the rest)

i keep forgetting that the tired old "radfems are silencing 'sex-positive' feminists" meme has been going on since long before my time. i'm not sure whether i'm relieved or incensed.

on the one hand, it's comforting to know that we're not the first women to be ridiculed and reviled for our views (misery loves company, you know), but on the other hand, it's incredibly disappointing that we've made no real progress over the last however many years. the article is from 2001 and she talks about arguments from 1981 and i'm sure there were plenty going on in 1881.

anyway, she makes some really good points. when you read it, seriously consider how many radfems are widely read compared to the number of "sex-positive" feminists. and how many men run laps around those "sex-positive" women, praising them for their "courage" and "insight" and yadda yadda yadda compared to what they say about us on the anti-porn side.

it just seems so obvious to me that men love "sex-positive" feminists because "sex-positive" feminists don't question or intrude upon their male privilege. it's all, "you go, girls! fight for your right to suck our dicks! don't let those ugly old prudes keep you down!"

i see liberal feminist after liberal feminist after liberal feminist getting book deals and paid writing gigs and paid blogging jobs and i've seen exactly zero radfems receiving any of the same offers.

so who's really being silenced around here anyway?

you probably think this post is about you*...

you know what would be cool? if everyone could just read each other's posts and analyze and consider one another's ideas and perspectives with an open mind instead of taking everything personally and acting like every word out of any feminist's mouth is directed at you and then starting fights and getting folks to gang up on one another.

it's so exhausting and so very, very boring.

so you wear makeup and love men or some of your best friends are men and you think blowjobs and high heels are neat, better than ice cream even - well bully for you! do we need to keep rehashing the same old shit over and over again?

so you're not a radical feminist and you think rad fems are big meanies. we get it. we hear you. we don't give a shit.**

aren't you strong enough to just do what you want without radfem validation? why do you even care what we think anyway? can't we please just move on? aren't there more important and interesting things to discuss and argue about? like how the patriarchy hurts men too and how men are victims of DV too and how men can be feminists too and how not all men are rapists and and and***...

for the love of maude! can we please move on already? it's not even fun reading blogs anymore and how else am i going to kill time at work and expand my mind if not by reading blogs?

please, won't someone think of the children?!?!?!****

*this post is not about you.
**well i don't, anyway.
***sarcasm.
****more sarcasm.

even harder than presidenting i'll bet.

there's still much snorting and spitting in the feminisphere over "feminist creds" or whatever it was that started all of this and i've been rubbernecking silently while waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

until now. this is where i put in my two cents as if i have any idea what i'm even talking about. (i almost put a happy face emoticon right there. what's up with me and all this qualifying i'm doing lately? but i digress...)

i think it's important to remember that we're all grown women here. we can listen to what our sisters say and take it or leave it, you know? as someone on another thread said, "if the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear it." no one is demanding that anyone else do or say or behave in a certain way, we're only sharing our thoughts and ideas and experiences and pointing out how certain behaviors/attitudes/privileges/etc. effect us.

i mean, i do understand how it's painful to be called on one's privilege and i frequently find myself on the defensive when i read things by other feminist women. but i'm usually on the defensive because there's a ring of truth to what's being said and i'm not up to facing it yet. when i do get around to picking that scab however, i often find that i was right to be called on my shit and that i indeed have a lot of learning, growing, sharing, comparing, examining and rectifying to do. i may not get around to it today, or even tomorrow, but the seed has been planted and it's up to me to cultivate the truth, you know?

pat robertson said this:

"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."

i'm assuming he's talking about abortion when he says "kill their children", patriarchy when he says "anti-family", and the environment when he says "witchcraft" so i think he pretty much nailed me. (ha! not like that! gross!)

i bring this up because i wasn't always this way. i used to be an apologetic feminist who spent half my time defending men, reassuring myself and others that i wasn't a man hater, and pointing out how "the patriarchy hurts men too!!!" i was one of those "but what about the men?!" feminists that i have so little patience for these days. we've all gotta start somewhere though, right?

when i started out i had no idea what i was in for. i thought it would be easy. to me, feminism basically meant "free to fuck whomever whenever with no apologies". seriously.

i was pro-porn and wore "ironic" hooters and vivid t-shirts to prove how liberated and openminded and "down with it" i was. i was a "fun feminist" and the men in my life were totally unthreatened by me. and that was basically the extent of it for many years.

because i was so fucking privileged, the only "women's issue" that really mattered to me was sexual freedom: being fierce and strong and independent, and having guys like me. violence against women? trafficking? reproductive healthcare? educational and professional inequities? international women's struggles?

i wasn't there yet.

seven years, two self-defense classes, a feminist consciousness raising group, dozens of books, multiple volunteer gigs, a march on washington, a DV conference, and a devastating backstabbing later and i'll tell ya - i've learned a thing or two about a thing or two. i've learned what does and does not work for me. hard work works for me. struggle works for me. agitating works for me. seven years ago, it didn't. i didn't want to think about the messy stuff, i only wanted to think about me.

i started out slow and little by little i started doing more. i lived and learned and grew and changed and evolved into who i am now.

but that's not to say that mine is the natural progression, that you start at point a and end at point me. i've still got a lot to learn. and i'll admit it, i'm an "extremist". women and girls are the most important things in my life. feminism is all i talk about and think about and live for so naturally i'm pissed off 99% of the time. it's difficult and painful and emotionally draining. (i haven't had a date in almost two years!) not everyone has the energy for it (including me sometimes), but i don't think you need to be as obsessive and "strident" as me to be a good feminist.

what i mean is that feminists are important: radical, liberal, "white picket fence" - all of us at whatever level we're at - we're all important and necessary to the movement. it's the sisterhood, remember? and sisterhood is powerful.

we don't have to agree on every single thing, but we must listen to each other with open hearts and minds and do what we can to alleviate one another's burdens; to make the path smoother and broader and better for the women who will follow.

i don't have all of the answers and i don't claim that my feminism is the "right" feminism. it's right for me. i'm no longer an apologist and i no longer concern myself with "what about the men?!" what about them? they've got the power and the money and the numbers behind them. they can worry about themselves. i've got more important things to do.

let them call me a fat, hairy, man-hating dyke - the title no longer scares me. in fact, it empowers me. it proves that my strength is beginning to show. my power and commitment are beginning to make people uncomfortable. good on me.

be yourself. do what you need to do to get through this difficult and heartbreaking journey. as they say, it's hard out here for a feminist and we're all in this together whether we wear lipstick, date men, shave our legs, etc., etc. or not.

this is a revolution and we don't have time to sweat the bullshit.

i'm still obsessing over the beauty and feminism issue and i keep going back to amananta's post. here's a snippet:

I am an ugly feminist. I refuse to shave my legs, wear heels, or wear makeup on a daily basis to cover my "flaws". I am very overweight and will not starve myself to lose weight. I am harrassed on the street for these things regularly.

I feel ignored and maligned by most feminists these days. All the rushing to prove y'all are really quite pretty girls who don't fit that disgusting stereotype that is me? Just makes me feel like I should shut up and go hide my ugly troll self in a cave somewhere.

Does anyone spend half as much time defending a woman's right to REFUSE to participate in beauty rituals as they do defending women who don't feel like challenging the status quo? I have to say, I have NEVER attacked a woman for doing what she feels she needs to to make herself look pretty, but I frequently am silenced by large bands of feminist women declaring they aren't one of those ugly stereotypically hairy fat women who just don't care about how they look. My position is - you are pretty whether or not you cover your face with makeup in the morning, but if you really can't face the world without it, then go ahead. Somehow that gets warped into "she's judging me for wearing makeup!"

and from the comments:

That’s why those “This is what a feminist looks like” t-shirts piss me off - because the unspoken message of them is “I’m pretty”. by delphyne June 6th, 2006

Wow - you know? You’re right. Because if I wore one of those, most people would be like, “Yeah, we know.” And I probably would be asked to not wear it at some point because it makes the rest of the feminists look bad. by Amananta June 6th, 2006

i had never made the connection until this comment exchange but you know what? i have a "this is what a feminist looks like" t-shirt that i have never worn in public for exactly that reason. either i don't feel pretty enough to wear it and i'm afraid it will reflect negatively on feminism or i feel self-conscious - that i'm only wearing it to say "look at me! i'm pretty AND i'm a feminist! they're not mutually exclusive!"

there's always been something in the back of my mind preventing me from wearing the t-shirt in public and i think it's that i've always known deep in my heart that the shirt is more about "pretty" than it is about "feminist".

people keep saying this topic of beauty and feminism is trivial - that feminists are wasting our time fighting amongst ourselves over something as "silly" and "harmless" as lipstick but i don't think that's true. the heated debate, the hostility, the agonizing and hurt feelings tell me that this really is an important issue to many women. it's one that deserves critical analysis and the understanding that our actions - our personal choices - have consequences that extend far beyond our individual bathroom mirrors.