Illicit Sex, Friday Random Ten and a Cat Pic archives

Friday Random Ten “Showing Off the Tattoo and Explicating” Edition

Read our Leader's entire blog front page today--great stuff. And don't forget to check out the cool cat who taught us all how to rate ourselves obsessively.

1) "Nationwide"--The Dead 60s
2) "Chinese Rocks"--Johnny Thunders and the Heartbreakers
3) "Tribbles Down South"--The Mekons
4) "Something About Us"--Daft Punk
5) "God Makes No Mistakes"--Loretta Lynn
6) "Institutionalized"--Suicidal Tendencies
7) "Sometimes I Wonder"--Barbara Brown
8) "I've Been Loving You Too Long"--Otis Redding
9) "Fuck This World"--The Queers
10) "Happy Faces"--Lorraine Silver

Last FRT of the year, so why not tack on some more self-indulgent posting?

When I was a kid, I was really intrigued by mythology. (Well, still am, but it was an obsession that started young.) Like everyone else, my favorite mythology was the Greek mythology, probably because the stories and especially the characters are so well fleshed out and compelling. It turned out to be a fortunate obsession in my adulthood because it made it a hell of a lot easier for me to read poetry and plays easily for my college major because I got a lot of the allusions. But what was really challenging for me was reconciling my patriarchy-blaming worldview with my love of old patriarchal mythology. Luckily, I wasn't as interested in Biblical mythology, where you have to stretch pretty hard to find subversive women, like they did when they looked extra-textually when naming the Lilith Fair. The Greeks were evil old patriarchs, for sure, but their mythology has actual goddesses, and cool ones at that.

So when looking into it, there's one thing that always stuck with this porn liberal--the best Greek goddesses are virgins. In fact, it's sort of counterintuitive to the modern way of thinking about these things, because in our culture, "virgin" means untouched, inexperienced, unspoiled, as well as sexually inexperienced. But the virgin goddesses Athena and Artemis are the most independent of the goddesses--Athena's powers are unquestionable and Artemis lives a life that I suspect symbolized freedom to the ancient Greeks as much as it does to us. These are not the virgins of the Christian mythology that date back to Mary--meek, submissive, defending their virginity through self-destruction, as the Catholic virgin martyrs did. In fact, there is one tale of Artemis being threatened by a man secretly watching her bathe (read: would-be rapist) and she turns him into a stag and she and her posse of huntresses kills him.

And it struck me why the coolest goddesses were virgins--in a society as patriarchal as the ancient Greeks', where women were literally the property of men, the best way to convey the notion that a woman had some amount of self-ownership was to call her a virgin. Having never been fucked was a symbolic shorthand for having never been taken possession of, having never been owned. While the virgin goddesses are still technically their father's property, Zeus' benevolent attitude towards his children meant that for all intents and purposes, virginity was symbolic of something far more important--independence.

Of course, I'm aware that the stories around the virgin goddesses are still misogynist stories, with a palpable unease at the very idea of willful women permeating each tale. Nonetheless, there they are--powerful goddesses who people genuinely admire and fear, unlike the Christian version of the virgin goddess, whose virginity symbolizes her subservience to her son as well at to he husband and father (father above, in this case). Mythology is multi-layered and ambigious, allowing for many interpretations, and I think there's lots of room to interpret the virgin goddesses as models of female freedom.

You'd think I'd be more drawn to the brainy Athena than the dark and mysterious Artemis, but I'm not. Athena is too cold, not playful enough. I've always liked Artemis the best, liked the image of her passing eternity indulging herself in the hunt, living as she saw fit, hanging out with who she pleased. Her relationship with Orion is an especially intriguing story (version that's closest to the one I've read most often here), because she befriends a man on her own terms, they become extremely close, and this so threatens her brother Apollo that he tricks Artemis into killing her best friend. It's often implied in these stories that Artemis was in love with Orion, a facet of the story that I really like, because the implication is that merely having sex doesn't take away Artemis' virginity, because she's still not possessed by him.

There's a lot of ways to intepret the story, and I imagine the fact that Artemis kills Orion, if only by accident, was something of a warning to people about the danger to men of allowing women in their lives to have their own minds. (Artemis has a long history of being viewed as a threat to men, though as a general rule I sympathize with her righteous anger in the stories where she deals out punishment to men--for stealing her property, for the usual crime that pisses off gods of being not grateful enough, and what I love best is that Artemis has a history of killing rapists.) But I like a more feminist interpretation where Apollo is a villianous whiny-butt who doesn't like Artemis and Orion's relationship because it exists outside of the male dominated world that Apollo is the god of, and instead exists in the shadows of the forest where people are freer, and while Apollo wins the first round by both depriving Artemis of her friend/lover, she wins in the end by making Orion immortal by placing him in the sky. In most stories, Artemis and her brother work as a team, but it always does well to remember that she's a chaotic threat to his well-ordered male world, the moon to his sun.

Willful, loyal, independent, free, full of determination whether she's in a joyous chase or out for revenge--that's why I decided to end out my year paying tribute to this goddess and having her iconography tattooed on my shoulder. Here's a picture, hope it's easy to make out, since I had to take it over my shoulder in the mirror.

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I'm really pleased with how it turned out. I was thinking something serious and monochromatic, but my artist I think saw right through me and realized that I'd be happier with something that has a playful bent to it. He was absolutely right, and I think his design really extracted what the virgin huntress symbolizes to me.

Oh yeah, and of course credit where it's due--the artist's name is Shane and he works at a place called Golden Apple, which of course made this nerd smile because Artemis was not one of the three goddesses overcome by petty vanity and the need to win a beauty contest when the Golden Apple of Discord was thrown amongst the gods.

Friday Random Ten “You May Call It a Mess of Trailer Parks and Oil Pumps, but I Call It Home” Edition

Man, Lauren has "Psycho Killer" on her FRT. I want "Psycho Killer" on mine! Norbiz weirdly has Sparks on his, just like me.

1) "This Town Ain't Big Enough For the Both of Us"--Sparks
2) "Heartbeat"--The Big Boys
3) "Just in Time"--Harold Jenkins
4) "Stone Rain"--The Bellrays
5) "Black Country Rock"--David Bowie
6) "Jacqueline"--Franz Ferdinand
7) "I'm Your Puppet"--James and Bobby Purity
8) "Horizontal"--The Dead 60s
9) "It's Great to Be Here"--The Jackson 5
10) "Amoureux d'une a afiiche"--Laura Ulmer

No cat pics yet, but I suspect soon. Right now I have taken their food so they can have an opportunity to enjoy that empty bowel feeling during our journey to West Texas, and there's a full-on revolt going on. I can barely type, since I have to extract a cat who's clinging to my body and put her on the ground roughly once every half second. Who knew two cats could move so fast? I think they actually pulled some cat witchcraft shit on my and have turned themselves from two into 20 cats they're coming so fast.

Friday Random Ten “I’ve Been Out Longer Than I Was In” Edition

Our leader is graduating college. Go give her your congratulations! I've been out of college for a few years now, but I did get out of work early, so that's something. Your songs, and I'm taking a nap.

1) "The Way I Walk"--Link Wray and Robert Gordon
2) "I Gotta Move"--King Beez
3) "18"--The Shocking Pinks
4) "Picadilly Circus"--Galaxies IV
5) "Real Cool"--Wade Curtis and His Rhythm Rockers
6) "I Was Meant for the Stage"--The Decemberists
7) "What About Today?"--Shirley Bassey
8) "Traveling Man"--Dolly Parton
9) "Ain't No Sunshine"--Jackson 5
10) "It's Obvious"--The Au Pairs

Leave yours in comments. I didn't rate my own coolness today, so feel free to tell me I'm lame!

Friday Random Ten, “Fuck Yeah I Got an iPod” Edition

Our leader kicks off hers with a rocking tune and so will I. Self-audit included, Norbiz-style.

1) "It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock & Roll)"--AC/DC. 7/10 for actually having bagpipes that work in the song.
2) "Winner"--Intruders. 3/10. WTF? Disco? When did I lose control over my MP3 collection? Okay, I actually like a lot of disco, but this is lame.
3) "Trouble's Back in Town"--The Wilburn Brothers. 6/10, nice laid-back old school country-western music.
4) "Seven Years Gone"--Quasi. 7/10, love this band.
5) "That's How It Is"--Otis Clay. 7/10, nice 60s soul.
6) "Entertain"--Sleater-Kinney. 8/10. Their new album KICKS ASS. That is all.
7) "I'll Make You Happy"--The Ugly Beats. 8/10. It's a cover of an Easybeats song. I love The Ugly Beats--they're a local band that's just way too fun. See 'em live if you can, but get their album even if you can't.
8) "I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm"--Billie Holiday. 7/10. Solid.
9) "Poncho's Lament"--Tom Waits. I think he always gets an automatic 8/10.
10) "Make It Through"--Smoosh. 6/10, points deducted for being overrated. That said, they are pretty cool, and yes, especially being so young.

Average 6.7. I'm losing my edge, and I blame disco.

Friday Random Ten–”No Street Corner Intrepretative Dance” Edition

Norbizness has a song on his list I saw a man doing interpretative Christian dance to once on 6th Street. Guess which song it is!

Our leader's randomizer wants her to dance. Mine is a spaz, as usual.

1) "Mr Grieves"--TV on the Radio. 9/10, for simply putting out song after song that skirts on the edge of strange but always being relentlessly cool.
2) "Red Roses"--Betty Harris. 7/10, get out of you chair and dance like an ass.
3) "All Around the World"--Titus Turner. 8/10, chill and super groovy version of this song.
4) "Chinese Rocks"--Johnny Thunders & The Heartbreakers. 8/10, punk classic that is not permanently stuck in my head. (Everything is in the pawn shop!)
5) "Chain of Fools"--Aretha Franklin. 9/10, especially since it's a live version with some really cool guitar work.
6) "Love Me Do"--Sandie Shaw. 3/10, this is a really goofy lounge cover, but I don't think I like it at all.
7) "Monster Blues"--Invisible Eyes. 9/10, this is what I want out of garage rock--bust out the keyboards early, have a groove that will cause the audience at a live show to rock out as one, waving cigarettes in the air with so much glee they actually let the entire things burn down without dragging except the once during the blessedly brief guitar solor. Makes me want to slap on a miniskirt and a cute hat and paint the town red.
8) "Circles"--Pop Art Toasters. 5/10, not so much.
9) "Tattoo Vampire"--Blue Oyster Cult. 2/10, though I imagine in a year they'll be the band all the IMSes are saying they loved all along. But this song blows. Skipping it.
10) "I Fought the Law"--Bobby Fuller Four. 6/10, extra point for being from El Paso, the city your blogger also had the misfortune to enter the world in.

6.6 out of ten. Started strong and petered out. I give this incident a 8/10, and would have been a 10/10 if the members of Creed and 311 got into a fight to the death.

Thanksgiving Random Ten–”Because I Don’t Think I’ll Get Around to It On Black Friday” Edition

Our leader is under the weather, but that's not why she doesn't have up an FRT. That's because it's not Friday. Here's wishing her a speedy recovery.

1) "Matthews Comes Alive"--Don Lennon. 8/10, because it made me blow soda out of my nose laughing. Sweet mockery of Dave Matthews. Lauren turned me onto this, for which I thank her.
2) "The Water Is Over My Head"--The Rockin' Berries. 5/10. Kinda boring.
3) "Crazy Fever"--High Noon. 8/10. Rockabilly with an evil kick to it, exactly as it should be.
4) "Gambling Bar Room Blues"--Jimmy Rodgers. This has to be a 10/10, don't you think?
5) "U.S. Teens"--Half Japanese. 9/10, for being both HJ and for even rocking a little.
6) "Groove is in the Heart"--Dee-Lite. 8/10 and if you disagree, I refer you to this. Speaking of, this next song:
7) "Ballad of a Teenage Queen"--Cowboy Jack Clement (with Johnny Cash). 7/10, one Lauren gave me.
8) "Will You Love Me Tomorrow"--William Bell. 8/10, gorgeous version of this gorgeous song.
9) "Paul Revere"--Asylum Street Spankers. 5/10, corny but fun Austin swing band doing a cover of a Beastie Boys song. Dunno if they did this after The Gourds' notorious cover of "Gin and Juice", but I wouldn't be surprised. Points deducted for coattail-riding.
10) "Bambina Sola"--I Profeti. 8/10. Points added for being Italian garage rock and having cool instrumentals, points deducted for having vaguely annoying vocals.


Bonus, non-random song: "Rumble" by Link Wray. 10/10. Here's a better blog post than I could write on one of the coolest cats ever to grace rock music with his presence.

Friday Random Ten, “Will There Be Enough Tofurkey For Everyone” Edition

Good news: afternoon off from work. Less good news: no cat pics.

Our leader is wrong--many of us more delicate china doll sorts have never pooted and will never poot, thank you very much. And we were born with our eyebrows already plucked. Norbizness traumatizes himself by dragging out the worst of his collection. That's the blogging spirit! Self-torture for others' amusement!

1) "Happyville"--The Outsiders. 8/10, this song rocks.
2) "Sunday Morning Comin' Down"--Sammi Smith. 6/10. Old school country and about as different from the first song as you can imagine.
3) "Two Wings"--Rev. Utah Smith. 9/10, because you totally get IMS points for liking gospel music even if you don't believe.
4) "She's Bored With You"--Reigning Sound. 6/10. Pretty fun song, amusing lyrics.
5) "Superstar"--Sonic Youth. 8/10, obvious choice but really very cool.
6) "My Heart Belongs to My Daddy"--Peggy Lee. 7/10. Okay, it's corny and perverted, but it's Cole Porter!
7) "Time"--Easy Star All Stars. 5/10. Reggae cover of "Time" by PInk Floyd. Sounds good, novel, but a little silly.
8) "Nobody Told Me"--The Flaming Lips. 5/10. Yes, I know they are supposedly awesome, but I don't get it.
9) "I Don't Want to Hear It"--Betty Harris. 8/10. Solid R&B, love it.
10) "Going Underground"--The Jam. 8/10, great song, points deducted for obviousness.

Friday Random Ten “Libelous Song List” Edition

Lauren realized that despite her blogging break that if she fell down on her Friday Random Ten leadership duties, she would be opening herself up to legal action. So she's gone and posted this week's FRT. Since I didn't do an IMS post this week, I'll go ahead and self-audit with the patented Norbizness method.

1) "Doctor Wu"--The Minutemen. 10/10, the Minutemen are Teh Kewlest.
2) "Yes, Baby"--Big Mama Thorton. 9/10. Probably another 10/10, but false humility demands that I don't have two perfect 10s in a row.
3) "The Words I Need"--Golden Earrings. 7/10, decent garage rock.
4) "Un Jeune Homme Bien"--Petula Clark. Huh, strange tune. 6/10 for being in French.
5) "Blind Bird"--The Mops. Heh, this sounds like one I got off Olaf. That makes it an automatic 10/10.
7) "Rapture Riders"--Mash-up of "Riders on the Storm" by The Doors and "Rapture" by Blondie. Another one snagged off a blog, this time the Liberal Avenger. 6/10 for making The Doors palatable to me.
8) "You Look Like a Lady"--Lee Hazlewood. Is it still the law that IMSes are to have at least some Lee Hazlewood in their collections for semi-ironic purposes? I'm guessing so. 7/10
9) "You Just Haven't Earnt It Yet Baby"--Kirsty Maccoll. 7/10. I heard about this artist from a public radio DJ just ranting about how much he loves her so I thought I'd check it out. For some reason, she reminds me of Morrissey's more restrained Smiths singing. I like it. (Update: This is what I get for paying so little attention. The reason this song reminds me of the Smiths.....it's a Smiths' song. *shoots self in head*)
10) "La Maison Ou J'ai Grandi"--Francoise Hardy. This one is for you, Karl the Idiot. 8/10.

Even 7 out of 10. Not bad.

Still having problems with the camera, largely due to my computer illiteracy and my terminal inability to play cutely helpless to attract men to my home to fix shit for me I can't or won't do for myself. I have adorable pictures of Molly and Dusty and a few of my sister's new puppy Murphy to share with everyone. So just close your eyes and think of kittens and puppies and hopefully next week, I'll have figured what the hell I'm doing wrong.

And since I cheaped out on cat pics, I'll do something nice for everyone. How this passed my attention before, I couldn't tell you, but one of my favorite Austin bands, named Mr. Lewis and the Funeral Five, has a few free songs on their My Space account. Go check 'em out. They fucking rule.

Friday Random Ten, “Bust Out the Sombrero Because We’re Gonna Have a Hat Party” Edition

Scooter Libby's perp walk is so worth a hat party. Roxanne's FRT is dedicated to Scooter "Bear Love" Libby and a caption contest--caption Libby's perp walk with song lyrics.

1) "Send Me That Pillow That You Dream On"--Charlie Feathers
2) "Wild Man"--The Tamrons
3) "U Don't Know Me"--Basement Jaxx
4) "Let's Misbehave"--Irving Aaronson
5) "Mockingbirds"--Grant Lee Buffalo (Thanks Dear Leader for reminding me how much I like this song.)
6) "Take It Off"--The Genteels
7) "Backfield in Motion"--Mel & Tim
8) "Eastbound Down"--The Supersuckers
9) "Papa Was a Rodeo"--Kelly Hogan
10) "Airhead"--Thomas Dolby

Friday Random Ten–”But These Stitches Are Itchy” Edition

Our leader is poisonous. No cat pics for y'all, but since I have been a really good girl this year, I think Santa might be restoring me to a be-cameraed state in a few months. It's just as well, though, since Molly got spayed and has an ugly shaved belly right now. But here's your FRT.

1) "I Disappear"--The Faint
2) "Double Yellow Line"--The Music Machine
3) "Scratchy"--Travis Wammack
4) "Apartment 21"--Bobbie Gentry
5) "I Done Told You"--Gene Simmons (not that Gene Simmons, y'all)
6) "Love, Lots of Loving"--Betty Harris and Lee Dorsey
6) "Blind Bird"--The Mops
7) "Chewy Chewy"--Ohio Express
8) "Silver & Katherine"--Half Japanese
9) "Penny, Things Won't"--Game Theory
10) "Backseat of My Heart"--Bloodshot Bill