feminist blogs

From the abstract for Always a Bridesmaid and Never a Bride: Portrayals of Women of Color as Brides in Bridal Magazines:

… [T]he number of African American married couples is only half the number of married Whites. And, an even more alarming statistic is the increase in the number of both African American men and women who have never been married … The problem here may be explained in large part to favoritism as displayed in the media and in ads. Perhaps the presence of Caucasian women as brides has sent an unintended message to African American women and that message is: The only qualified woman for marriage is a White woman.

Erm, except that:

1. Bridal advertisements are almost exclusively aimed at women
2. Men do most of the proposing
3. Men generally don’t read bridal magazines and therefore aren’t absorbing that imagery

Besides, don’t most women read bridal magazines after they have accepted a proposal and shown a willingness to get married? It seems awfully implausible, then, that there’s an epidemic of black women becoming engaged, and then not getting married — at a rate of almost 60% — because we’re not featured as brides in bridal magazines.

So what’s really going on?

Black women aren’t getting married for one, very simple, very logical reason that doesn’t have sh*t to do with bridal magazines: there aren’t any men in proximity to say ‘Yes’ to.

In many, if not most black neighborhoods, the numbers of marriage-worthy black men — and by that I mean: alive, legally employed, disease-free, addiction-free, never been to jail, not crazy or abusive and actually want to get married — are low.

If you have the nerve to also want “child free,” “reasonably fine” and “compatible with me,” giiiirl, just give up and invest in a B.O.B. Physical and cultural racial isolation means there’s also no opportunity to marry someone of another race or ethnicity.

If no one is asking — or as importantly, you don’t want to say yes to the one that did — there’s a good chance you won’t get married even if every bridal magazine featured Alek Wek on the cover.

• • •

That said: I think advertisers and bridal magazines that don’t feature women of color are missing out on a market opportunity. Check the demographics, man: a full 25% of the United States is of color. That percentage increases among younger people (who will probably get married some day).

Those of us who have the means are quite keen on seeing people who look like us in the media we consume. Fiercely loyal to those brands, too. So while I disagree about effects of the conclusions these researchers draw, I completely agree with the notion that advertisers and magazine publishers could and should feature models of color.

Before I get into the nitty-gritty of this review, let me make a few things clear:

• I generally don’t read self-help, inspirational or empowerment types of books (investment/personal finanace books being the exception). My attitude is simply: self-help/inspirational/empowerment = hokey and a waste of my time.
• I’m not a fan of Arianna Huffington. I still remember when she wasn’t a liberal / Democrat, so I greet most of what she says with a big ass dose of skepticism … Okay, it’s more like cynicism … a bitter, cold cynicism.
• This book ties in to a women-centered feature on The Huffington Post.
• I received a ‘review copy’ of this book (translation: it was free and provided by the publisher).
• I tell you these things because this review will be harsh. I generally don’t like being mean (erm, unless provoked and all). You never know when it will bite you in the ass. But I’m doing it anyway. That’s my takeaway from ‘Fearless’; perhaps that bit of irony will soften the blow.

Arianna Huffington’s latest book (her 11th) is a book about not being afraid of whatever life hands you. Huffington serves up advice on health, beauty, love and self-esteem, getting ahead in the workplace, spirituality and leadership. In addition to Huffington’s guidance, ‘Fearless’ includes nearly a dozen essays from prominent women — including Nora Ephron and Diane Keaton — on the theme.

It’s a work that’s meant to inspire and empower. Instead, it comes across as hackneyed and worn. If you’ve ever watched Oprah (whom Huffington quotes a few times), or read enough women’s magazines, you’ve got the gist of this book. It’s stuff that any woman will have read and should know by age 25 (even if she doesn’t practice it. Raise your hand if you took the “Couldn’t You Tell That Mother F*cker Was Crazy?” life course more than once.).

My other complaint is that ‘Fearless’ is often incredibly preachy, but never practical and workable. At least Iyanla gave you some (cheesy but effective) affirmations and “relanguaging” exercises. Huffington tells us to be fearless, but doesn’t offer much of a how. Instead Huffington quotes this woman and that statistic. But for a book with “becoming” (rather than “being”) in the title, I expected more tips about finding your inner fearlessness.

Without that how, ‘Fearless’ just becomes a mediocre magazine article or coffee klatsch stretched into a 230-page book. So allow me the liberty of summing it up with a few magazine-style headlines. Demand what your worth! Get that promotion! Find your spiritual self! Do we smother our kids? Grow old fabulously! Love your body!

There. I just saved you US$22.

Read it for yourself:
Buy On Becoming Fearless…in Love, Work, and Life from Amazon.com.

The Free Sh*t Fairy invited me to read and review a copy of Marta Southgate’s “Third Girl From the Left.” Here is my review. (Cross-posted on Tiffany B. Brown.)

Rarely can a book manage to be both funny and serious. Martha Southgate has managed to do just that with her novel, “Third Girl from the Left,” which is fresh out in paperback ($12.95; Mariner Books. Paperback released September 5, 2006).

Southgate’s novel tells the story of three generations of women — Mildred, her daughter Angela and granddaughter Tamara — using their shared love of movies as a foundation for their story.

Most of the novel centers around Angela, a former blaxploitation actress who left the stifling (as she saw it) culture of Tulsa, Oklahoma to become an actress in anything-goes Los Angeles. Her dream was to become a movie star. Instead she fell in love with a woman who became her life partner, although she rejects the labels “lesbian” and “dyke.”

Mildred, Angela’s mother, is a survivor of the 1921 Tulsa race riot. For her, movies are an escape — a way to vicariously experience how others live. Movies — rather, the movie theater’s projection man is also an escape for her. Eventually Mildred is confronted with having to choose what is expected of her or doing what she wants.

Tamara, Angela’s daughter, makes movies. That she makes films is progress. Though she struggles to make ends meet and produce her thesis film, she is confident in her craft. For her, creating movies becomes a chance to give voice to herself and be a voice for those women who came before her.

Throughout the novel, the women struggle to escape or change what other people think. In Mildred’s case, it was the notion that a proper woman is a homemaker. For Angela, it’s small town gossip and sexual standards. With Tamara, it’s being a black woman filmmaker when her mother and society tells her that it might not happen.

Rather than the heavy-handed, sometimes somber tone of other black women writers with similar themes, Southgate manages to make her writing fun and accessible to a pop-fiction audience. With this novel Southgate reveals the complexity of black women’s struggle for self-worth and self-definition.

Updated because my a** really needs some proof-readin skills. Rachel raises some interesting points in her post “Duke White Guys Gone Wilding” about our tendency to brand black and brown activities in ways that imply white people don’t do it (ex: “the down low”). Now while I agree with the basic theme of the post, I [...]

Our “Blogging While Black, Revisited” panel intends to talk a bit about audience and voice. It kind of helps to know who you are. Please stop on by and take the poll (which is mostly similar to polls being run by Jason Toney and George Kelly. Who Reads BlackFeminism.org?

From M. at Scribble Pad: Wikipedia’s entries for “woman” and “man.” Note the section on “Vulgar Terms” (which I edited to be titled “Vulgar Terms and Gender Slurs”) for “woman” without a corresponding section on the “Man” entry. Some possible entries for “vulgar terms” for a man: “prick,” “bastard,” and “royal-fuckin-asshole”* come to mind. [...]

Poached from Crooks & Liars who poached it from Firedoglake with thanks to Jeff: Take a look at the “Similar items” section on the “Planet of the Apes” page on WalMart.com.

Via Tennessee Guerilla Women and a poached NY Times editorial. I won’t write an essay on the subject because I’m just not feeling particularly smart and articulate this morning. So I’ll give you the short version: hip-hop is *NOT* the problem. Grinding poverty + economic flight + America’s violent culture = The Problem. Nihilism, black-on-black violence, [...]

From the Times in London, an opinion piece from Kwame McKenzie on “King Kong’s racial overtones” in light of the remake by Peter Jackson. (And I think I might add the original to my Netflix list.)

I don’t write about sex as often as I’d like. I confess that part of it is my fear is my mom, or worse yet, my dad will stumble across a post and know waaaaaay too much about what I do in private (and sometimes in public… ). I don’t want to [...]