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Happy Anniversary, Commander Codpiece!

EPIPHANY:

Sweeney Todd:  No I had him!
His throat was there beneath my hand.
I had swear I had him!
His throat was there and now he'll never come again.

Mrs. Lovett: Easy now, hush love hush
I keep telling you -

Sweeney Todd: When? Why do I wait?
You told me to wait -
Now he'll never come again.
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it.
But not for long...

They all deserve to die.
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because in all of the whole human race
Mrs Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two
There's the one they put in his proper place
And the one with his foot in the other one's face
Look at me, Mrs Lovett, look at you.

Now we all deserve to die
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief
For the rest of us death will be a relief
We all deserve to die.

And I'll never see Joanna
No I'll never hold my girl to me - finished!
(shouted) Alright! You sir, you sir, how about a shave?
Come and visit your good friend Sweeney.
You sir, you sir? Welcome to the grave.

I will have vengeance.
I will have salvation.
(shouted) Who sir, you sir?
No one in the chair, come on! Come on!
Sweeney's waiting. I want you bleeders.
You sir - anybody.
Gentlemen don't be shy!

Not one man, no, no ten men.
Not a hundred can assuage me -
I will have you!
And I will get him back even as he gloats
In the meantime I'll practice on dishonorable throats.
And my Lucy lies in ashes
And I'll never see my girl again.

But the work waits!
I'm alive at last!
And I'm full of joy!

world goes mad someone invited fucking celine dion death-rattle-sabres torture-extracted elastic lies told retold reshaped evolved forgotten bmoc abandons career runs friendly fire meets maker typing monkey mocks anguished mother's muffin top sends her flying monkeys off to play their gotcha game anal cavities scrutinized inventoried reported rewarded theocracy marches on! purple fingers and all boys girls abused maimed raped waterboarded fucked up in the head and dead

you really really really really really really really really care
but not that much
til some over-snowflaked functionary changes the world again

she calls she's going soon nothing can be done about it so now it touches you now it's all about you its all 4 realz u selfish stoopid bitch google alerts set always news glued landline rings come unglued

she pings she's someplace else you didn't hear of seven years ago she'll go *there* later so everything is ok right now and the people are really interesting and nice and they ate italian and for some weird reason she tried roadside made-her-high horse milk and you realize that in the summer of 2001 you were in that neighborhood watching the dali llama careen through the mountains in his tibet gold mercedes benz so it couldn't be all that bad and then you remember she'll head west soon and she'll have a lot more to worry about than made-her-high horse milk

days pass you accidentally stumble on a real winner of a fauxhomefolksy brooks column and all you can think of is that you hope you don't knock his teeth out should you run into him at the friendship heights bed, bath and beyond

weeks pass she pings again she's in the emmeeeeee but she feels safe because she not in that country yet but in the other country but its so fucking hot its like living at the core of the fucking sun but its ok because her tent has ac otherwise she writes in coded language that requires distance to decipher

pingless silence for several weeks you worry you watch debates lies obfuscation you worry witless assholes on youtube grabbing their cluen on msnbc you worry the landline rings at midnight you worry you get a google alert with the name of that place you worry someone in kmart has her same red hair color you worry you send her youngest a birthday treat you worry you read about a navy mom who's lost her son and asks bush to stop this senseless war you worry some asshole who you think somehow won an academy award for screenwriting questions your loyalty you worry the holidays are coming up and no one can find the recipe for the break da mout mango cream cheese pie she makes every year for thanksgiving you worry you clean out the garage and find an old photo of her in a cowgirl gittup from when she was like five you worry the landline rings at 6 am you worry the mean half a round of brie eatin' lady at the whole foods screams at you for accidentally dropping a cracker and if she were here she'd know just what to say you worry i wonder if afn shows bsg in iraq because she'll be pissed she missed razor you worry you search stars and stripes online for evidence of her you worry you worry at the drop of a hat

then she pings again and relief washes over you until you read on to confirm that she is *there* she sends you shots she's had snapped what the fuck is that is she standing in front of a local police car because that is the single last fucking place on earth she should want to stand why does she feel the need to be that much of a badass jesus h you hope she writes more frequently

she writes a litte more frequently because she knows you're worried even though the messages you send are fronted by your best game face she knows because she knows you better than just about anyone knows you you start to get little panic attacks you try to avoid news on the weekends but you can't and the thought of hundreds of thousands of others going through the exact same thing at any given time gives you no solace whatsoever

thoughts often drift to the boy king the little princesses uncle shakespeare's richard iii cheney his fake turkey dinner and how that pretty much sums it all up maybe he really really really cares but not that much

you get the message you've been waiting for she's someplace else and she'll be in the us in your birthday plus xx days because she's still emailing in code and that she'll be home almost in time for number one daughter's birthday and to make the break da mout mango cream cheese pie for thanksgiving you let out that breath that's been living in the pit of your stomach for several months polls show the world might change soon enough and that everything will be ok

then you remember those other hundreds of thousands and how you had it so easy it was only a few months some of them have had wives husbands cousins daughters sons ecetera  going coming coming going going coming for years on end now for them it's a nightmare with no end in sight you dwell a little on the loss the arms and eyes and loves and legs and innocence and lives and souls that there's a heavy price we'll all pay for this some day maybe in hell but you don't let yourself wallow too much because you really really really really really really really really care 

Oh, man. Curious, if true.

But, you have to admit it takes big brass cojones for the University of Chicago (remember them?) Press to publish unattributed quotes from Max Weber as if no one would notice:

Counterinsurgency Manual, section 3-55: Power and Authority

"Power is the probability that one actor within a social relationship will be in a position to carry out his or her own will despite resistance."

Unacknowledged Source:

"Power [Macht] is the probability that one actor within a social relationship will be in a position to carry out his or her own will despite resistance." (Weber, Max. Economy and Society. Univ. Calif. Press, 1978 [orig. 1922]. P. 53.)

And as much fun as I've had in the past accusing Chris Hitchens and Andrew Sullivan of having a T.E. Lawrence complex, this bit is almost too good to be true:

Other sections of the Manual have unacknowledged borrowings from other sources. The anthropologist Roberto González found that the Manual's Appendix A was "inspired by T.E. Lawrence, who in 1917 published the piece 'Twenty-seven articles' for Arab Bulletin, the intelligence journal of Great Britain's Cairo-based Arab Bureau." González compared several passages of Lawrence with Kilcullen's Appendix A, and found parallel constructions where paragraphs were reworded but followed set formations between the two texts.  González observed that while these parallel constructions can be seen, "Lawrence is never mentioned in the appendix. González shows that Kilcullen's other written work makes a passing reference, but does not acknowledge the degree to which Lawrence's ideas and style have been influential."

There's much more to unpack here. And I owe a H/T to J--.