feminist blogs

A very happy birthday to Robin's Dad, who at 85 is doubtless the oldest Pen-Elayne reader (at least that I know of)! Also a reminder, this coming Sunday will mark Pen-Elayne's sixth blogiversary. Any ideas on how to celebrate besides whining to Melissa to post a cake for me?

Today is so-called Blogroll Amnesty Day, spearheaded by Jon Swift and skippy, wherein participants are supposed to extol and publicize those bloggers who don't get a lot of attention, aren't on the A-list, have very low hit counts, and in general ought to be better known. So I'm thinking, how many of the people currently on my blogroll, particularly on the political end, get lower hit counts than me? And as I checked my Site Meter and other stats, I realized: probably none. And then I immediately acknowledged, it's my own damn fault.

I've been blogging for over five years, but less and less of late. Sometimes I barely make one post per day. I don't know that I've done much more than Silly Sites, Friday Cat Blogging and blogaround link posts for maybe three months now. And my stats show it. I used to get around 200 daily hits; now it's down to maybe 80 if I'm lucky. And it's directly related to how much effort I put into writing here.

Comic book fans don't read Pen-Elayne regularly, because I don't write about comic books any more; I haven't been able to properly write about them since I used to keep up with my reading back when my job was in Manhattan and I went to the shop each Wednesday like other "early adopter" fans. The biggest comic-related thing I've ever done here was publish Robin's whistleblowing on CrossGen, and I think that day I got maybe 500 hits. Compared with Newsarama and The Beat, that's nothing. Besides, nowadays most of my comics-related stuff gets written for ComicMix.

My political friends, even the locals who used to invite me to NY blogger gatherings, have pretty much deserted me. Some probably kept me at arm's length to begin with, as I never seemed to toe whatever they considered to be the party line from moment to moment. I don't get that much pleasure out of demonizing anyone, for instance, even if their politics are diametrically opposed to my own. I refuse to consider most people as inherently evil for believing differently than I do. I'm used to most of the folks around me having opinions that diverge from my own, whether it's about cooking or comics or Congress. But at one party I distinctly remember, when I didn't agree with some point or other that was raised, the sudden accusation, "You're a Republican!" Coming from a family of lifelong Democrats I was kind of floored by that reaction, but by and by found it indicative of a lot of the echo-chamber mentality so prevalent in political bloggers of all stripes. Which makes it all the more ironic when these same liberal blogs delight in accusing right-wing blogs of being "the mighty Wurlitzer."

Then too, there's my outspoken opposition to the obsession many bloggers have with making money from their hobby. And yes, I'm aware many people don't see blogging as a hobby, or even a public service or civic duty, but I'm afraid that's my personal prejudice that I'm hard-pressed to shake. I know wanting to see a profit from your creative efforts is as legitimate a hope as having a political candidate who shares every single one of your values. It's just as unlikely to happen. There are tons of really good writers out there, and there's little incentive to pay for content in one place that you can get for free elsewhere. But some liberal bloggers can't see beyond their own overinflated sense of entitlement. And so they hold these periodic fundraisers to rake in money to pay for their blogging. I already have a computer with an internet connection, and I've never paid one additional penny to blog; I don't see why anyone should expect a handout for something which nobody's forcing them to do and which they can do for free. Sure enough, the great majority of these fundraisers are for people who already make a perfectly good living and honestly don't need the money as much as want it. And when I point this out, as I have time and again, I'm a killjoy, a traitor, a Republican.

So I'm kind of the rebel. I don't stick to one topic; I'm neither a political nor a comics blogger, neither a photoblogger nor a food blogger, neither a religion blogger nor a cat blogger. I'm just Elayne. And I don't stick to the pre-approved script; when bloggers go on an all-expenses-paid trip to Amsterdam, I'm the one who points out at what price they've been bought. When all-white bloggers brag about lunching with Bill Clinton in largely-black Harlem, I'm one of those wondering what happened to all the non-white bloggers, and making good on a promise to never again link to A-list liberal blogs that attack others who question this status-quo (blogs that also, not coincidentally, used blackface as humor). I don't demand readers pay for my hobby, and I'm not shy about mentioning repeatedly how wrong I think that is. And I don't like to echo what everyone else has already said.

Which is one of my main problems. If I'm not a bandwagon jumper, I'm not as noticed. But in my effort not to make that leap, I tend to wait until I've finished reading other blogs before opining about something, so as not to duplicate effort. And with one thing and another I often find myself with too many unread blogs at any one time to venture forth with my own blather. And that's wrong; I should never have to feel the need to wait until I've read what others have said about something to put in my own two cents. From this day forth, my promise to readers and to myself is to try and write more before reading. It's always better to go back to a post and add an update and link to what others have said about a topic than it is never to have written about it at all.

I'm going to write more this year. And it's not just going to be diary-type posts either. I'm engaged enough with the outside world in my offline life; you'll start to see that reflected more here at Pen-Elayne. Then when I wonder why I'm not on the blogrolls of writers I admire, or why my comments sections are so blank, I'll have more legitimate ground on which to stand. I want to again make Pen-Elayne a more attractive must-read blog for all of you.

Once again, if you still have me on your blogroll and don't see your name on my sidebar, or if you want to reciprocate blogrolling, please let me know ASAP; I would always like to blogroll anyone who blogrolls me (within reason). In the meantime, instead of hyping bloggers who doubtless all get more hits than I do by this point, I'm going to link to the three blogs remaining in the Guys in Waiting section of my Bloglines subs, guys whose blogs I like but who haven't blogrolled me, in the hopes that they someday will: Driftglass, Flawed Plan of Writhe Safely, and R.J. Eskow of Night Light. And I'm going to start working on becoming worthy of being blogrolled again.

Update: Thank you, Susie and Scott!

I'm starting to find my equilibrium again, after being knocked flat by the suddenness of my unemployment. I mean, it really was only a matter of a few weeks between my official last day and when I thought I'd be gone. This morning I finished typing up my severance agreement (yes, this whole thing has been going so smoothly that my all-but-former boss had me create the written agreement myself, based on Friday's discussion), I'm coming into the office a handful of times in the next few weeks to continue consulting and training, but mostly I'm in forward-looking mode now. It's just going to take a bit of getting used to; after all, as Robin pointed out, due to my work ethic of staying at a position for the long haul, I only undergo this trauma once a decade. Of course, Mom corrected Robin by saying it's been more like twice in a quarter century. :)

In so many ways, my current severance situation is close to exactly what I've wanted, except that I'm not gainfully employed elsewhere yet. But I'm convinced it's only a matter of time before I find the perfect job, and in the meantime with the holiday season coming up and a bit of a financial cushion I'd be foolish not to take advantage of being able to do some of the things I really enjoy.

Tomorrow afternoon Robin's coming into the city with me to browse about during my job interview, after which we'll catch a bite then head down to MoCCA to see Cheryl Lynn moderate the Women of Color in Comics and Manga panel, where we'll not only be catching up with Cheryl and other Friends of Lulu NY folk but will finally meet new FoL national president and blogger friend Val D'Orazio. I'm not sure Robin has even met Val, although they did briefly work together when she was an editor at DC.

Then continuing on the comics theme, next weekend we'll have a table at the National Big Apple comic book, etc. expo across the street from Penn Station, where I plan to schlep in my laptop and camera in the hopes of getting a wifi connection to report live from the scene for ComicMix. It'll be great catching up with industry friends now that I'll be able to do the news for CM again, although I won't be able to finish my outline for Megillat Vashti in time to discuss it at the con with the book's artist, Mike Netzer, who's coming in from Israel. It looks to be a nice little con, Mark Evanier and Sergio Aragones will be in from the other coast so I can get lots of first-hand news from Mark about the WGA strike and the Broadway stagehand strike and even non-strike stuff before I read it on his mandatory blog. I can't express how much I've missed having a social life since my now-former job moved to the Westchester suburbs.

And there's other stuff I want to do. TBS' horrid lower-third-ad-laden showing of The Wizard of Oz last night reminded me how much I long to reread all the Oz books given the leisure time. With Robin able to set his own hours, we don't have to wait for weekends to do errands and go places. When I went out during lunchtime last week my back didn't seize up at all, which bodes well for things like checking out holiday store window displays in Manhattan and maybe the Bronx Zoo holiday lights (although I will probably "cheat" and bring along my walking stick just in case), weather permitting. I may even be inspired enough to jump-start my comic book writing again and do a story or two with my house artist; Soulmate Productions hasn't actually produced new comic book work in about ten years, which is way too long.

And since I won't be going to physical therapy any more (as the PT place is near my former office where I don't want to travel any more unless necessary), I hope to embark on a personal regimen to stay as physically healthy as I can. My exercise bike misses me! I just hope I can summon up the energy for all the stuff I want to do now!

As of today I am no longer employed full-time at the day job I've held for the last 10+ years, although I will continue to train and consult on and off for the next few weeks. This will leave me lots of free time, much sooner than expected, to concentrate on my job hunt, transition to a healthier overall emotional and mental state, and enjoy both the upcoming holiday season and my hobbies. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and this aspect of my life could not have occurred in a better way and at a better time.

Five years ago today, I began this blog with a bit of an introduction to who I was then. It wasn't really anything new for me, I'd been doing one-to-many writing for at least three decades by then. But this was the first time since high school that I didn't have to lay out any cash to have my own forum. Not that I'm complaining, I happily laid out money to print and mail INSIDE JOKE and apazines all those years ago; it's what you do with hobbies. The financial loss is more than made up for by the intangibles of having a readership and expanding a circle of friends.

But to have the means of communication already in place (from having been online since I first got email) and not to have to lay out any additional money to blog -- that was a godsend. And I set as my goal a readership the size of INSIDE JOKE and achieved that pretty quickly, although I now appear to have dipped below 100 visits per day. Which is probably nobody's fault but my own, as my job has taken over more and more of my energy each year to the point where I'm just not blogging as often as I used to, and when you don't write a lot there's less incentive for people to visit. But you know something? IJ came out hexaweekly, and this here blog still gets far more visits in six weeks than the number of IJ subscribers.

So my heart is full of gratitude to all of you for being my readers and my friends all these years. And as that same heart finds its strength being tested now more than ever, as I approach my half-century mark without my father, without my best friend, without even the potential of children, without a more optimal job situation, without as much mobility and health as I would have liked... sometimes I feel absolutely overwhelmed with loss.

And then I regather, because you just can't spend your life in mourning for the things you'll never have or never regain. And I note that it's September again, the start of the season that makes me feel the most alive and has always held the most potential. And I look around and the air smells fresh, my daily commute is still pleasant and will become lovelier as the leaves turn, I get to come home to a loving and intelligent and talented soulmate who loves me unconditionally and two cats whose lives are now in double digits and they're both still bright-eyed and energetic, I get to partake of all the entertainment I could possibly want and more, I'm mobile enough to visit my very vital and very loved Mom and lots of relatives a lot more than I used to, and there are still wonderful things to read, everywhere.

Thank you all so much for being a part of my reading, and a major part of my life. I hope Pen-Elayne continues to be a part of yours.

I had no idea yesterday was the annual Blogathon until Eszter mentioned it. I have weird memories of participating in Blogathon a few years ago, at which I point I realized I was definitely too old to stay up all night any longer. Congratulations to the bloggers who participated this year! By the way, this is also a great way to find new bloggers; just about every one of the bloggers listed is new to me. I think I'll go check some of them out now...

There's another apparent Denial of Service attack directed at Shakesville at the moment. Please temporarily direct your browsers to Shakespeare's Sister in the meantime.

No sooner do I set up all my LiveJournal feeds on Google Reader amid complaints that they're no longer updating on my preferred newsreader than, presto, many of them start working on Bloglines again. Even this own blog's alternate LJ feed is now operational. Coincidence? In any case, I'm not abandoning Google Reader yet, but it's nice to have LJ feeds back on Bloglines...

I think I may finally have figured out why I haven't been able to read LiveJournal feeds properly in at least a month. I believe it's the combination of Bloglines and Firefox. My Bloglines subs aren't flagging new posts from any of the LiveJournals on my sub list (including my own LJ alternate feed) no matter which browser I use. However, when I try to open the pages themselves, I can't do so on Firefox but they open in Explorer, at least eventually (after taking a very long time to load). I might do some more experimentation at home with another RSS reader. This is really frustrating, I have at least two dozen LiveJournal subs and want to be able to keep up with new posts without having to click on each blog separately... Update: LiveJournal feeds (both RSS and Atom) seem to update perfectly in Google Reader (well, except for the Pen-Elayne LJ feed), which in turn works fine in Firefox. I'm moving all my LJ subs from Bloglines to Google so I can finally keep up with my LJ friends!

The Peace Train is celebrating its first blogiversary with a blogswarm invitation: "Help us celebrate our birthday by posting for peace on the Fourth of July. Our challenge this year is to reflect on 'Where we came from and where we are now.' This, of course, can mean many things, including but not limited to, the following questions:

* What is our individual responsibility in our eroding democracy? What do we need to do individually and collectively to restore our democracy and American values?

* Within our own borders, how do we create peaceful, violence-free communities?

* How do we create a language of peace, where our words and actions mesh with our values?

* Reflecting on our birth as a nation and the Declaration of Independence: How can we declare our independence from the domestic terrorism that our nation has helped to spread through the world?

* How do you see the role of the blogging community in forging a new standard of peace, both nationally and globally?"

I've chosen to pass along this invite rather than participate with an essay, because I don't know that peace has ever truly been with us. It's just so much easier to destroy than to create, and the human tendency is always to go for the easy way out; therefore, testosterone-driven warlike tendencies have so far always won out over sensible nurturing ones, at least on the societal level. Heck, we can't even get past envisioning peace as a starting point for prosperity, rather than an end-goal justifying warmongering means. Until the mindset about peace changes, I don't see much point in overly pontificating about a Utopian possibility so self-evident to me.