There's an article on CNN about children of same-sex couples - the "gayby boom" generation (not too sure how fond I am of the term) - and it really shows how important these daughters and sons are in the fight for gay rights. It also shows that children of same-sex couples are often very loved and grow up to be well-adjusted and not confused about their sexuality, contrary to what anti-gay rights activists might want you to think.

Jesse Levey is a Republican activist who says he believes in family values, small government and his lesbian mothers' right to marry.

Levey is part of the "gayby boom" generation. The 29-year-old management consultant is the son of a lesbian couple who chose to have a child through artificial insemination. He's their only child.

Critics of same-sex marriage say people such as Levey will grow up shunned and sexually confused. Yet he says he's a "well-adjusted heterosexual" whose upbringing proves that love, not gender, makes a family.

"You can imagine what my parents thought when I was 13 and listening to Rush Limbaugh everyday," Levey says. "But my family had strong family values. I was raised in a loving, caring household that let me be a free thinker."

The modern gay rights movement began 40 years ago June 28 during the Stonewall Riots in New York City. While much of the controversy surrounding gay rights today has centered on same-sex marriage, a battle is brewing over another family issue: Is it bad for children to be raised by gay or lesbian parents.

Read the rest of the article here, and comment with your reactions!

I can't make this event, but if you, please report back! Can't wait to see the film. You should also note that Kevin Roy of ABC7 is hosting this event. He won an Emmy a few years ago for a segment on his own trial with the suicide of his mother. Should be a great event.

HBO and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

Host Chicago Premiere of the HBO Documentary Film

“BOY INTERRUPTED” on June 26

Filmmaker Dana Perry will attend and participate in Panel Discussion

What: In the wake of recent suicide deaths involving children and teens in Cook County, HBO and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), will host a preview screening of the HBO Documentary Film “BOY INTERRUPTED” with special guest, filmmaker Dana Perry.

The screening will take place the night before the AFSP’s National Out of Darkness Overnight walk, an 18-mile walk from sunset to sunrise to raise funds and awareness for suicide prevention, education and research programs.

Where: Swissôtel Chicago – 323 East Wacker Drive, Chicago, IL

When: Friday, June 26, 2009

5:00 p.m. – Reception – Zurich ABC

6:00 p.m. – Screening – Zurich D

Who: Panel Discussion to follow with:

Dana Perry – Filmmaker and mother of Evan Perry, subject in film

Paula Clayton M.D. – Medical Director, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

Moderated by: Kevin Roy – Weekend Anchor, ABC 7

Details: “BOY INTERRUPTED” tells the heartbreaking story of Evan Perry, a 15-year- old boy who took his own life after a lifelong struggle with bipolar disorder. An official selection of the 2009 Sundance Film Festival, the documentary recounts Evan’s life and death in the words of his parents, filmmakers Hart and Dana Perry, and others who knew him. Illustrating how one family deals with generations of loss and grief, this moving film illuminates the stigma associated with mental illness and suicide among children.

“BOY INTERRUPTED” premieres on HBO on August 3.

Video and more information at: www.hbo.com

It's so much easier for government officials to thump their chests about how much they worry about the welfare of the working parents' children than to actually do something about it. There is a series of very obvious measures that the government and companies or universities could undertake that would be helpful and beneficial to everybody.

For example: why not establish on-site daycare facilities in workplaces? The expense would be minimal and the benefits huge. Parents could spend more time with their children, they will concentrate all the better on their work if they can go see that the kid is ok at any point. Employees with children would not try to leave the workplace at 5 p.m. on the dot because they have to get to daycare before it closes. And the government could offer significant tax breaks to companies who do this. If it's true that, as Alberta's Finance Minister claims, children benefit so much from being close to their parents, why isn't she doing anything to promote such measures?

Another set of important measures (also pretty cheap and easy to introduce into the workplace) as proposed by my reader mom of seven: "Better working conditions for nursing mothers, including pumping breaks and pumping rooms. Better maternity leaves to allow them to get breastfeeding well established before they have to return to work. Getting insurance companies to cover things like good quality breastpumps that would allow moms to work AND BREASTFEED." Sounds great, so why isn't anyhting being done about this? Why is it accepted as gospel truth that the only way to rear children is to stick women in the home? The government could reward companies who adopt such measures with tax breaks if it wanted to do something productive for a change..

Ok, pop culture nuts. Here is the clip of Kate "Reverse Mullet" Gosselin in action that's got the blogosphere abuzz.


I have never seen this program, but it has captured my imagination along with the rest of the country because it seems to encapsulate so much about what is wrong with America today. You know the usual suspects: fame, greed, infertility treatments, reverse mullets, the works. With this clip we can now add the age-old "is she a good mother?" obsession to the mix. The commenters on Gawker, where I first saw this clip, made a variety of excuses for how annoying whining children can be, so in their opinion Kate deserves the benefit of the doubt. I have a different take.

I am something of an expert on difficult children, never more than when summer vacation is underway. I can see myself in Kate's shoes here, grinding my teeth with rage after a long day of being harassed by a gaggle of little brats. One strategy is to keep the jaw wired shut and ignore them, which Kate is doing here. One could also explain to Mady calmly that it's almost time for the interview, and Mommy will get her a drink once it's over. A truly wonderful Mom of the Year might ask the Access Hollywood staff if they could delay the interview so all eight of the kiddos could get a drink, but it could be argued that Moms of the Year do not have reality television programs that get them into these situations in the first place.

One thing you NEVER, EVER do? Get yourself a water bottle and drink it while your thirsty kid cries. Parents are constantly challenged to balance what their children need with what the parent wants. It's a push-pull that happens to every adult with a small person in her care. This is a good example of how the parent's want takes precedence, with disastrous results. To hear Mady Gosselin plaintively wail "you're really really mean...you drank right in front of my face!" is to witness the effect of emotional abuse on a 8-year-old child. It's a disgusting power trip and it makes me sick. I can only hope the backlash will lead to this show's cancellation.

I feel terrible for all of Kate' children, but I also feel better for my two. Summer vacation might not be so bad after all.

There's a heartbreaking, but worthwhile, piece up at Ms. Magazine entitled "Between a Woman and Her Doctor," in honor of Dr. George Tiller. It tells the story of a woman who is devastated when she finds out that her unborn child is dead inside of her. Not being able to cope with the idea of giving birth to a dead fetus, she goes on a seemingly impossible quest to obtain a late-term abortion. This story shows why so many women in this world will suffer without more people like the late Dr. Tiller.

I'm going to print this on every social network available to me (and there are many):
I'M NOT A "YUMMY MUMMY"--I'M A MOM WHO'S THE BOMB!

"The Stories Bodies Tell," Minnesota Women's Press, June 2009

Patriotism. This could be a bigger issue than when to tell the kid how babies are made. At least with that, there are books with diagrams and science to fall back on. But patriotism...ay!

This issue came to light a few weeks ago as she was practicing for her spring concert. "A-M-E-R-I-C-A! I love America!" over and over for the weekend. I have to admit it was cute, but I asked her why she loved America. "Mom, it's just the song!"

Oh, hell no!

"You know why I love America? Because it's one of the few places where anyone can stand up for what they believe in and make things change." And on I went with the obligatory Stanton, King, Obama and Huerta talk. Seriously, her history teachers will either love me or hate me.

As a baseball fan I know all the words to the Star Spangled Banner. I sing it EVERY single time I hear it. Or at least I try to...Ya know sometimes the song just needs to be sung not interpreted. Anywho, so I feel like I'm a pretty patriotic person. I just want my daughter to know why we love this country, not a blind love.

It's ironic that some people who most loudly wave their patriotism scoff at those of us who dare to protest or question why things are the way they are. And my patriotism is grounded in that change, questioning and protest.

I know feminist parents who don't want their kids to even say the Pledge until they are old enough to truly understand it. I'm not at that stage, but rather I want her to question the things she's told "just are." Well at least from people who aren't her parents.

Am I reading correctly?

"If girls realized the consequences of sex, nobody would be having sex......trust me. Nobody."

My first beef is with her cover statement, which reinforces the age-old stereotype of the girls being the ones in charge of stopping hockey players from coming all over them. HEY BRISTOL! It's the 21st century. Boys can take care of their needs the old fashioned way--the blue ball story is fake. Boys are also perfectly capable of going to the Rite-Aid and buying a pack of Trojans themselves.

Which leads me to my second beef. Bristol, after all you've been through, are you still going to tell your peers that they should just say no? Wouldn't it be more responsible to say "look everyone, I realize how horny teens can be. If you're too embarrassed for mutual masturbation, how can you be too embarrassed to buy some condoms at Rite-Aid? Wake up!"

But alas, Alaska's First Teen Mom has chosen to have it both ways, to act like she's a lesson in what not to do, while using her cute baby as a fucking fashion accessory. If Bristol wants to keep it real, she should be on the cover with baby Tripp squirting yellow shits all over her J.Crew sweater. She should have a photograph of him gnawing her tits bloody to get a drink of milk. To judge by this photograph, a plump baby boy is what all Alaskan teens are carrying with them at their graduation ceremonies! They're much cuter than corsages!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!

I am usually sent these salvos in the ongoing Wars of Mommydom, because I am a unique case--I'm an at-home parent who doesn't think everyone needs to do it. But despite my penchant for cackling at Rush Limbaugh's radio show whenever I can, I live in a pretty insulated left-wing bubble. No one I know reads the Wall Street Journal, so no one sent me this gem, published in April 2009, which is so full of baloney it should be banned by the CDC for possible swine flu contamination.

By MICHELLE KUNG

So the article begins with a point on which Laura and I can agree--that there are middle class, two-income families who could make the drop to one income if they wanted to care for a child at home. Of course, Laura Schlessinger has not middle class when she got herself knocked up, so that's easy for her to say. She doesn't consider the public library to be her family's entire entertainment budget, nor does she chauffeur her li'l pumpkins in a dented '99 Saturn. I do.

But here's where the conversation veers into the Hall of Fucked-Up Mirrors in Phyllis Schlaflyland.

WSJ: What do you tell women who are hesitant to leave their jobs?

Dr. Schlessinger: You know how when you try to quit smoking you chew gum? You replace one thing with another because it distracts you. What I would tell these women is that they're spending too much time thinking about what they have to give up, and feeling angry about not being valued. Look at me -- I made the transition from being a powerhouse to being at home, folding laundry. What they need to do is find value elsewhere. I tell these women to look in their children's eyes. When your husband comes home, wrap your body around him at the door and look at his eyes. What people need to learn is that it's not about the drudgery of housework -- it's about being at home for all of those incredible moments that make your life more valuable than the person who replaced you at work. No one can replace mom. Kids who don't have moms suffer a lifetime. (emphasis mine)

Let me declare to all the world that my husband truly is my best friend and partner in life. I don't tell him this often enough. But if my only joy in life were wrapping my body around his and gazing into his big brown eyes, he would likely divorce me. Surprise! He respects my intellectual pursuits, too. No reasonable adult wants to be put on a pedestal like that.

Why are women still telling each other that love is all we need?

WSJ: What questions should working mothers ask themselves when deciding whether to quit their jobs and become stay-at-home mothers?

Dr. Schlessinger: The nut questions should be: Do I feel fulfilled as a woman? Do I feel like my husband's girlfriend? Do I feel like I have touched the soul of my kids? Those will help you decide.

My biggest beef with the Mommy Wars is that it perpetuates patriarchal systems by perpetuating women's self-hate. Yeah, I said it: PATRIARCHY! What else is at work when we're told that all we should be when we grow up is someone's caretaker?

WSJ: Where do stay-at-home dads fit into the picture?

Dr. Schlessinger: I recommend that during the first three years, the mom should be at home because all of the research shows that the person whose body you come out of and whose breast you suck at, at that stage, really needs to be the mom -- unless she's incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial. After that, flip a coin.

Ha, ha. Dr. Laura said "you suck." Back atcha, bitch.

WSJ: At what point do you advise mothers to go back to work?

Dr. Schlessinger: The answer is never.

Blah blah, there's more about the virtues of playing board games with your kids, which is such incredibly insightful parenting advice that I'm amazed no capitalist fatcat at Parker Brothers ever thought of it.

WSJ: Do you think it's possible for a working mother to raise a smart, successful child?

Dr. Schlessinger: I didn't write this book about working moms. I wrote it in praise of stay-at-home moms. It's a wonderful choice, but to be absolutely truthful, having been on both sides of this mentality, my heart hurts for what these women miss and what their children miss from them. No argument, no criticism. My heart just hurts -- because when you get those pudgy arms around your neck, and being told you're someone's lullaby -- the fact that a woman would miss that is so, so sad. (emphasis mine)

Did I neglect to mention that the most powerful weapon in the culture war is the reinforcement of self-hate? Women's self-hate kept them from thinking they deserved the right to vote, after all. What Laura is spewing here is no different than the ideological cult of motherhood that developed after the GIs came home from WWII and wanted their damned jobs back. Your time for riveting is over, Rosie--because you wouldn't want to miss out on a chubby pair of arms snuggling you! What kind of woman would you be then, Rosie, huh? Don't you kinda hate yourself for missing out on that womanly experience?

Do not misunderstand--I love the feel of my babies' skin. They sucked me for nourishment until they drained me dry. I play board games with them. I did, and still do, all of the things that Laura is advocating here. But to glamorize it in black and white terms is dangerous, to both women and to their families. No job should be so imbued with this kind of ridiculous mythology, much less a job that is thankless, dirty, and unpaid.

Speaking of pay, just how did Laura find the time to get famous enough to get a book publisher for this tripe? I thought she spent all of her time cuddling her son Deryk, who, according to Wikipedia, was born in 1985, making him nine years old when her radio show was syndicated. In the WSJ piece she claims that she made sure she did her on-air chats when he was in school, but looking at Wikipedia again, we also see that she published her first book in 1994. When did she write it? She wrote another in 1996, another in 1997, another in 1998, 1999..... that's a lot of writing to get done while you have a teenage boy drinking from your breast. I bet he hates her fucking guts, if only for being stuck with the name "Deryk."

But look at me, sillies! I'm pointing out the hypocrisy of another woman, and I'm not supposed to do that! I'm a nurturer! Loving others is my only role in life! I AM A MOMMY!

The Reverse Mullet speaks! And though it's funny, it's also very sad. Yesterday I spent over an hour discussing with a fellow parent about how a child's needs are far more important that a parent's wants. If you commit to a child, you gotta toss out your own bullshit and focus on doing the real work of parenting, because it is goddamn motherfucking work. It is not television. It is not hairstyles or magazine covers, no matter how much this Kate wants it to be. TIMES EIGHT.
I hope the kids have the best nannies that TLC can buy. I feel genuinely sorry for them.

Kate Gosselin on Her Hair: “Everybody Wants It”