feminist blogs

According to Pew (link is pdf), more than half of all bloggers blog anonymously or under a pseudonym. So I wonder if everyone was lying, coming out naked or drawn from a self-selectively-skewed sampling, because I was the only pseudononymous blogger I met at the BlogHer conference.

"So what's your blog?" was the opening refrain to many conversations. Multiple choise: (a) "Oh, I blogged more in the past, but not much lately, but I'm thinking of getting active again" (which is true); (b) "Mrs. Borden's Parole" (which is false); (c) "I don't want to say, I'm too embarrassed" (which is true); (d) "If I told you, I'd have to kill you" (which is false b/c I'd just kill myself)....

This may not be a fair generalization, but it seemed like a mommyblogger's conference. At least it seemed like I was meeting a lot of mommies (who presumably were bloggers, or else why would they be there?).

A lot of the sessions were interesting. From what I read of the first conference, I guess I was expecting more interaction within the room, but it seemed like most of the presentations were just that -- presentations, and while they all had Q&A, few of them were room-wide discussions, and that's too bad. There were a lot of really interesting women there, but it seemed like I heard mostly just panelists and presenters.

Now maybe I'm just too burnt out on politics, but I think the most boring session was the politics session. At first the room wasn't even that crowded, but people started to come in after it started. It was kind of unique, with one woman (whose name has escaped me) being kind of the Sally Jessie Raphael, walking around the room with the microphone, getting questions, having a panelist answer, and then opining herself.

I don't know. The whole political thing bores me these days -- which was kind-of addressed, at least the burn-out "dark night" kind of angle. Me, I'm just bored with stupidity. And so I guess I was hoping that we'd have some sharp commentary on the political scene. Maybe I just slept through it. It just seemed like this session was the opposite of what I'd expected, because while the panelists for the most part did not engage each other in debate, it almost had this kind of kumbayah feeling, like, Isn't it just so cool we're all blogging about politics (but let's not really get into it).

It was kind of fun seeing Lindsay Beyerstein up there, and for a conserative, Ann Althouse was reasonably non-offensive -- at least her statements were mostly devoid of party-line jingoism.

(I can already hear the protests about my admittedly over-generalized characterizations of that session and the people. Well, share it. Maybe we can have the exchanges that did not happen there.)

I also liked hearing Jarah of Fresno Famous, who was funny talking about how odd her town is. And hearing about Lindsay's harrowing encounter with the gubmint post-Katrina, and a soldier's (?) threat of "disappearing" her and her friends when they trespassed onto prison grounds where an unofficial morgue was supposedly kept.

The room was overwhelmingly liberal in the I'm-skeptical-of-anything-the-government-does kind of way (which used to be a conservative trait before conservatives embraced fascist values), so at least I didn't feel out of place.

Just bored.

But the conference itself wasn't boring. Arianna Huffington and Grace Davis were almost more political in their closing keynote. Arianna's story about losing her social circle of friends when she dropped conservatism and embraced liberal values was interesting. As someone whose politics haven't changed much in xx years (while the parties have raced righward), I'd never thought about losing all of one's friends just for dropping GOP gang colors.

Still, looking back I can see why the majority of bloggers who blog anonymously or under a pseudonym don't seek out an event like this. In many ways, it was like going back to high school, with clicques and -- how do you spell what sounds like "soashiz"? and then the rest of us.

Biggest hoot: Seeing a blogger named Liz Henry living it loud (to the extent that she is the subject of not one but two of the more outlandish appearances in the Flickr BlogHer photos [and that's 'nuff said]).

Biggest disappointment: Missing Lauren, formerly of Feministe, who's now blogging under a male name and suddenly garnering all sorts of respect. Go figure, huh?

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Technorati tags: blogging BlogHer internet personal

I was at the mall last night. I loathe the mall, and yet, I find myself there fairly frequently. The village where I live has no pharmacy, nothing other than a small convenience store that charges convenience store prices. So all necessities come from the mall and the large grocery store next to it. Thus, my position at a table in the Food Court, eating Subway sandwiches with my daughter for our late dinner.

As usual, I was people watching. The college students are gone, flown like robins in reverse. They’ll return in the waning days of summer, and change the character of this area. Last night, it was locals. And I started noticing something. Virtually everyone was carrying around extra weight. Lots of belly fat. Some of them were so slowed up by the extra weight that they lumbered. I started looking for lean people. There were a few, but as a percentage, it was less than 20 percent.

I know that we’re engaged in a national crisis over American obsesity. We blame television, and our sedentary lifestyles, and the availability of cheap, high-fat food. We drink too much soda. We eat too much candy and potato chips and fast food. We don’t exercise. It’s all our fault. We’re the richest nation on earth and we’re a bunch of slobs. Blah Blah Blah.

As you can probably tell, I'm really enjoying Heilbrun's book. I'll likely post more about it in the coming weeks. I find myself wondering if Nels and Prof. B. have read it, and if so, what they think of it. I also wonder what Heilbrun would have thought about all these women who are writing about their lives every day on their weblogs.

As an aside, I created this comic of sorts before I saw that Collin just put up a much better one. Do read it.

As you can probably tell, I'm really enjoying Heilbrun's book. I'll likely post more about it in the coming weeks. I find myself wondering if Nels and Prof. B. have read it, and if so, what they think of it. I also wonder what Heilbrun would have thought about all these women who are writing about their lives every day on their weblogs.

As an aside, I created this comic of sorts before I saw that Collin just put up a much better one. Do read it.

If the big blogs are the example to follow, I suppose I should be shamelessly blogwhoring right now for the Koufax Awards. Yes, giants of the blog industry love the telethon model for popularity.

Don't vote for media girl. We all know media girl has no chance of winning. So go pick those someones you like who actually might win. I'm just thrilled -- overwhelmed -- that media girl is nominated in five categories! So here they are:

Best Blog (nonprofessional) -- I really cannot believe media girl is even nominated here. (Oh, I'm sure my detractors, including one or three not-quite-mentioned in my first paragraph, cannot believe it, either.) But I would recommend voting for Alas, a Blog, Pandagon, The Heretik, Crooks & Liars, Echidne of the Snakes or Feministe. (Note: I really cannot believe Boing Boing is on the list. Is that a non-professional blog? I love it, but I always thought they got paid to spend so much time doing it.)

Best Blog Community -- Again, wow. But I say vote for Talk to Action.

(Note: Our Word really should have beennominated for this...but it is nominated for Best New Blog, so go vote! Also, Kactus is up for Best Post and our own bayprairie is up for Best Series [Reproductive Rights Week, on Our Word] -- go vote for them!)

Most Deserving of Wider Recognition -- Whoever is responsible for this nomination, thank you! Now everyone else, go vote for someone else! There must be three dozen on that list much more deserving.

Best Group Blog -- Amazing. Now please, give the nod to Feministing, Tennessee Guerilla Women, Shakespeare's Sister or Lawyers, Guns and Money.

Best Commenter -- This means that people are actually reading the comment threads. I thought only the trolls and five regulars did. But really, if you want to vote for the best commenter on any blog anywhere, go vote for Moiv. Really. Please. Go there now.

Thanks for the nods and votes of confidence, everyone. I'm truly touched just to be mentioned in such illustrious company. (And that's not just Oscar broadcast bullshit!)

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Technorati tags: blogging internet link personal

I'm sitting in on a class this semester, and the professor often uses examples of public rhetoric in recent history to illustrate theoretical points. In one class, we were talking about norms. Specifically, the most far-reaching and important consequence of the eighteenth-century European bourgeois public sphere analyzed by Habermas is that it set forth a new norm: might-is-right differences in status and power didn't matter in political discussion; instead, the best argument prevails. As problematic as it is that this new norm emerged in settings that did not always welcome women or people of color, it nevertheless is a powerful new norm, especially when appropriated by said groups.

The discussion then turned to norms in general. The professor claimed that the women's movement, while an absolutely invaluable and much needed stride forward in the overall path to social justice, failed to provide a new norm to address the problem of division of labor in the home, especially an equitable arrangement for how to raise children.

Okay, I know there's a lot to be said for getting rid of norms altogether. For many people, they're oppressive, they're restrictive, and they institutionalize disapproval of perfectly valid choices (or courses of action taken when there was no choice; i.e., many women have no "choice" whether to work outside the home or not). But this professor helped me to see norms in a different way. They're templates, common forms for how to live, he said. Norms make things less complicated, which can be a good thing. They can be useful, eliminating a great deal of the struggle of having to figure so much out at the individual level and then justify the choices made to the community at large.

Right now, for example, I'm reading Feminism, Breasts, and Breast-feeding by Pam Carter here and there on the stationary bike/stairmaster. This set of questions Carter poses helps to show the confusion that comes with the absence of a solid norm:

[N]o feminist practice has evolved around infant feeding. A number of questions can be raised: is bottle feeding in some way equivalent to medical intervention in childbirth? should it therefore be avoided? does breast-feeding offer greater possibilities of control by women? or is bottle feeding equivalent to contraception in allowing women greater control over their bodies and their lives? should feminist support pro breast-feeding policy in order to strive to recapture the time when infant feeding was within the control of lay women? should they try to recreate the kind of conditions where all women breast-feed? or does a safe and (relatively) healthy alternative offer women more control and autonomy? are middle class women being good girls in breastfeeding their babies realizing that 'doctor knows best' providing a good example to the working class? should feminists campaign for private space for lactating women or should they challenge the dominance of public space by male sexuality and refuse privacy? (p. 19-20)

What do the rest of you think? A new norm seems reasonable, at least to try as a thought experiment. Would a new norm reduce the number of mommy wars, alluded to by Linda Fishman, Laura at 11D, Dooce and over 1000 commenters there, and most recently in the New York Times? Or would it not make any difference, because a new norm may still judge implicitly some people's decision to deviate from the norm? Does feminism already point to new norms for the division of labor at home, but they're just not articulated in a way that's clear to the general population? If so, what are the new norms? As I see them, they are:

• Destigmatize stay-at-home fathers. I've probably said here before that the SAHDs I know always seem to feel compelled to explain, even apologize for, their work. Their families don't approve of the fact that they aren't bringing money into the household, etc.
• Destigmatize young mothers (also single mothers). Provide more support for young women who want to have children before starting a career. This would come in the form of social support and free daycare for student parents in high school and college so that they can continue to pursue their studies.
• Provide on-site daycare at work and school.

Other than that, I guess there are only individual systems in which domestic partners split up the chores in a way that approximates 50/50. But that's not as easy as it looks when there are pervasive older norms lurking in the background. Plus, these new norms I've listed only tell social institutions what to do, not individual people. A solid new feminist norm, assuming we're going to try to think of one here, should (I use a heteronormative model here tactically) tell everyone what to do: the woman, the man, and the corporation, school, society, etc. I'd be interested to know others' thoughts about this; I believe I've written myself into a corner here.

Inspired by Dru Blood....

1. How tall are you barefoot?
5'9"

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
No, but I did once smoke opium in college. (Don't ask. I don't remember. Really.)

3. Do you own a gun?
No.

4. Rehab?
No.

5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"?
Dru Blood said, "I get nervous before meeting ANYONE." Same here.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
Yuck. But a good bratwurst with dijon... I could enjoy that.

7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
"Thank you very much" (a song from the movie Scrooge, starring Albert Finney, which is simply the best Christmas movie and the perfect companion to It's a Wonderful Life)

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Dark roast coffee.

9. Do you do push-ups?
Why would I?

10. Have you ever done ecstacy?
Noooooo!

11. Are you vegan?
No. But some of my best friends are vegans.

12. Do you like painkillers?
When I am in pain, yes. But the dopey stuff messes me up.

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex potential lovers?
Based on experience, I'd say baggy sweats and dirty hair ... or a rather sad and pathetic personal ad on some matchmaking website. Overall, I think I scare people.

14. Do you own a knife?
How else would I cook?

15. Do you have A.D.D.?
It's rather silly to put this question so far down, isn't it?

16. Date Of Birth?
Obviously.

17. Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment:
I want to go home.
My blogs are being sadly neglected.
I'm glad I have this silly meme to blog, because I've had too much beer (see #18) to come up with something pithy on my own -- of course, this assumes that at some point I actually do come up with something pithy, but really, I'm under no illusions.

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought:
Beer.
Sushi.
Shoes.
When I look at that, I think, "Life is good!"

19. Name five drinks you regularly drink:
Coffee.
Wine.
Beer.
Water.
Orange (or grapefruit) juice.

20. What time did you wake up today?
6:15 a.m.

21. Current hair?
Straight on good days, stringy or frizzy on bad days. Brushing my shoulders. I like to think it's blonde, but in actual fact looks more like the color of dishwater.

22. Current worry?
Time. I really have so much to do, and it's all quite all of the sudden. I know I can do it, and I believe I can do it well, but time is the scarce resource.

23. Current hate?
The right-wing misogyny parade.

24. Favorite place to be?
Shoulder to shoulder, joined at the hip, with the one I love (if I were in love, that is).

25. Least favorite place to be?
Anywhere with fluorescent lights.

26. Where would you like to go?
Japan. Europe. I like to travel, but only if I can take the time and relax.

27. Do you own slippers?
Of course!

28. Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
I have no friggin idea, but I'm sick of moving so hopefully it will at least be where I will have been 9 years from now.

29. Do you burn or tan?
First I reflect everything. Then I burn. With patience, I could tan, but tan for me would be sickly pale for most people.

30. Last thing you ate?
Sushi.

31. Would you be a pirate?
No. I get seasick.

32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink?
Right before I typed this sentence.

33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
"Singing in the Rain." No, not really. But there is this song a lounge singer sings in War of the Gargantuas (yes, that silly Japanese horror flick) this song, "The words get stuck in my throat," and I keep thinking, "The worms get stuck in my throat." I know, I'm kind of sick that way. I blame it on Saturday TV.

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
Lobsters. They had live lobsters in a tank at the local grocery. My dad would take them out to scare me, so naturally I had nightmares about them.

35. What's in your pockets right now?
Nada.

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
I laugh all the time, but I never remember jokes, and when I'm stressed I tend to get too uptight and not laugh enough, and right now I don't remember laughing, really laughing, in quite some time. That really is sad, isn't it?

37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?
Clean ones. I thought flannel was pretty cool for a while, but I didn't like how they stuck to my pjs. And satin felt really neat the first time I felt them, but on hot nights (erm) they can get (um) sticky.

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
Most traumatic was breaking a toof. I had a concussion once, but I don't remember it much. When I broke my arm in high school, my dad didn't believe me and I had to wait over 18 hours before my parents finally took me to the ER.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
Two.

41. Who is your loudest friend?
If I said, she wouldn't be my friend any more.

42. Who is your most silent friend?
I tend to be the most silent.

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
Probably not. If so, he (or she?) has never said anything or shown any signs.

45. What is your favorite book?
I still have not found a book that moved me like The Grapes of Wrath.

46. What is your favorite candy?
Fudge!

47. What songs do/did you want played at your wedding?
Let's start with the wedding march. As Time Goes By. Whatever "our song" might be. Other than that, I really would not care, as long as it wasn't too much disco.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
I can't say I'd have much of an opinion on the subject at that point. Maybe "spring" from The Four Seasons.

49. What were you doing 12AM last night?
Sleeping.

50. Do you love the pain a tattoo brings?
Ask me after I've had one. (Does this relate to question 12?)

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Technorati tags: meme personal

We were so rough, so tough, so radical ... and oh so young.

I look back to my own roots in the Women's Movement of the later 1970's, and the shoulders we stood on and recall the retrospective of a dear friend who recounts it vividly in A Year of Living Dangerously: 1968 and how things changed - and the world turned on an idea - Female Liberation!

"It has begun!" The words were galvanizing, chilling; the implications were massive, dangerous and revolutionary; their seriousness precluded euphoria. I knew that the liberation of women was not going to be easily won, nor won through any moderate means. I knew that once I had embarked on this path, there would be no stopping short. Reality shifted, and I felt myself to be in a new world.

It was a different era and we saw a different reality from what young women see today.

It was a terrifying and dangerous time. We felt that we were laying our lives on the line in a way the boys of The Resistance weren't even contemplating. We saw the violence and hatred that demands of personhood and dignity for women brought out in men who until then appeared normal. These were many women's "nice men". They were the apparently-dignified conservatives, the open-minded liberals, the justice-hungry leftists, the apolitical hippies. These men gave us every indication that they would choose open warfare, to the death, rather than yield any privilege, including the psychological privilege of feeling superior. We felt we were girding for an apocalypse in male-female relations. It was startling--and deeply disturbing--how frequently men responded to our direct but courteous remonstrances about sometimes-small issues of behavior with the verbal and body language of physical violence.

And how far we've come.

I am amused today to find young women who scornfully declare that they are "not feminists" taking for granted their rights to do some things we scandalized our feminist comrades for suggesting in the early days. I spoke the other day to a young "not-a-feminist" with a shaved head and remembered the scandal, the uproar, the outrage Cell 16 created at a feminist conference in New York City in 1969. We were speaking from the stage on the subject of the political implications of our making ourselves into conventional womanly women through the cultivation (often at the expense of great time and effort) of stereotypical feminine appearance. To dramatize this, we included a bit of guerilla theater: one of our number who had luxuriant long blonde hair had decided to cut it to a more practical chin length. To help us make the point about femininity, she had also agreed to have us cut her hair on stage. There was pandemonium in the hall, with women standing up and screaming "don't do it!" One woman shrieked, "Men like my breasts, too; do you want me to cut them off?" In 1994, in contrast, my young "not-a-feminist" acquaintance considered her shaved-head haircut practical and rather interesting. If it shocked anyone, or if someone chose to regard it as "unfeminine," so much the worse for them.

It was a time when our lives went on hold,

Beyond the matter of whether one ought to stay in an abusive relationship, we questioned how much time and energy ought to go into working out "personal" relationships even of a more promising sort, and asked whether women ought to be devoting themselves to raising children. Although we didn't condemn good sexual relationships or worthwhile family life, should these be found, it is true that, at that historical moment, we thought it best for women to stay free for making the revolution. Even good relationships take time and energy, time and energy that we needed in getting the word to women about the possibility of a better way of life, time and energy that we needed for the struggle. And isn't it obvious that a guerilla must be free? Hence we wondered at women who professed to be dedicated to fighting for female liberation and who also chose to have children. We felt that children became the hostages of the system; women's need to protect children make us vulnerable to male threats and bribes. We might be willing to bring the world down on our own heads through a revolution total enough to effect true liberation for all, but we flinch in contemplating the danger to innocent little ones. Of course, in our apocalyptic thinking, we never envisaged this struggle being one that would go on for twenty, fifty, a hundred years. In this, too, we were progeny of the sixties: we were going to remake the world in the next two or three or five years. There would be plenty of time for "a personal life" later.

This week Coretta Scott King passed, also and so I think of Martin Luther King's last speech,

Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn't matter with me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land. And I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.

The women of the Second Wave of Feminism are passing and we still are not free and the ERA is a curious footnote of history.

We wait and wait and wait.

Yet it has been good company that we have kept and we sorely miss those who will not get to that mountain top, and for those of us who are still on the climb.

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Technorati tags: human rights BlogHer feminism personal thoughts

Selfishly, this news makes me sad. I join many in wishing her all the best. She will be missed.

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Technorati tags: blogging personal

May it bring peace and prosperity to all.

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