feminist blogs

So much reading and so much to process but I wanted to share a few things that have come to me so far:

1) I am not Kos nor do I want to be anything like him.

That was a perfect "click" moment for me as I've been reading through all of the amazing writing this week. So much of it totally made sense and rang true to me, but when a few people threw down the "Where are all the women bloggers" and "You best be nice to the menz or the menz won't help you silly little women" bombs I was like, OMG, Becky! I think I get it now!

Coz ya know, just because I don't use "The N Word" or "ching-chong" jargon does not make me a "good" ally to WOC anymore than not raping women makes someone a "good" feminist. It's actually just the most basic level of common-deceny. Literally, the very least I can do. I should be doing more. Much more.

2) WOC issues are not "special interest" issues anymore than reproductive rights are a "special interest" issue. If it effects any woman, it effects all women.

3) WOC owe white feminists nothing. They do not have to reward us, acknowledge us, be nice to us, or even pay attention to us when we do anti-racist work. As I said before, it is just the most basic level of human decency and common courtesy and we don't deserve medals for not being selfish, self-centered, self-absorbed assholes (for once).

4a) It's not always about me. I don't have to take every comment or criticism about white feminists personally. If I feel hurt, threatened, or offended by something a WOC has said or written, I need to STFU, listen, and learn. I may not necessarily agree with what they're saying or feel that it doesn't apply to me, but I don't need to defend any white woman from a woman of color anymore than any woman needs to defend men in any feminist discussion. Like Magniloquence said:

You are not saying anything the people of color you’re talking to haven’t heard a thousand times before. You are not saying anything the people of color you’re talking to haven’t told themselves a thousand times before. If you would actually stop your reflexive know-it-all yammering and pay attention to what people of color actually SAY about the offenses they suffer on the prejudice - racism continuum, you will note that almost to a person they second-guess their own gut feelings about the putative offender far beyond the point where almost any white person would.

4b) It's not always me. I've said it a million times myself, to other feminists who get all bent out of shape about shit: If the shoe doesn't fit, then don't wear it!

If a WOC says, "[White feminists] did/do such-and-such and it's some fucked up bullshit!" I don't need to run in and say, "Well, I'm a white feminist and I don't do that." or "Not all white feminists do that!" I might as well preface every conversation about rape with "Not all men rape!" and then shoot myself in the face for being such a fucking moron.

It's true, not all white feminists do such-and-such, but that's a given so instead of disrupting a fruitful conversation to state the obvious, it might serve me well to STFU and learn something new.

I'm sure I'll have items 5 through 29 billion at some point and I'll share them along the way but I just wanted to say one more thing before I go: Tuesday I was basically all, "Where are all the Feminist Women of Color Bloggers?!?!" and since being directed to a handful of them, I've found more and more and more. I've read zillions of brilliant thoughts, ideas, and words and haven't had time to read any of the blogs I usually read and you know what? (Yes, I know I've been a total jackass. What did I say about stating the obvious?!) I've actually learned a shitload more reading blogs in the past two days than I have in the past two months. Go figure.

Also: I was reading this and I thought to myself, Huh. So that's how intelligent, civilized human beings have a discussion and disagree with one another.

I hardly ever read or leave comments anywhere because whether the topic is soft, fluffy kittens or an illegal, deadly war, there's bound to be some fucked up, racist, sexist, bullshit flying and it stresses me out. Apparently though, that doesn't happen everywhere, mostly just in the White Progressive Blogosphere That I've Been Frequenting Too Much.

(or, "White Girl Learns a Thing or Two About a Thing or Two!")

Ask and ye shall receive. So many many many "a-ha!" moments:

A Preview of Coming Attractions

After awhile, you'll start to notice you're seeing things you never saw before, perhaps couldn't see before. Things that made no sense to you even just a few months back, suddenly make too much sense. Where before you saw legitimate complaints against OVERSENSITIVITY and PARANOIA and JEALOUSY and PETTY DIVISIVENESS, you now see an order and a method. But the order is all out of whack and the method is brutal and graceless. The order constrains what you would see free, and the method is only used to punish whatever, or whoever, threatens the order.

It's Imperative!

No, the big issues on their blogs revolve around preserving only what they already have and getting more for themselves, they really could care less if you are out in the cold looking in. Oh sure, sometimes they talk about poverty, or women in India, or immigrants in America; but look at the framing. Almost every topic leads back to how it affects them, it's not really about the people they are using. If they don't center it on the middle class white woman, someone (usually several) will do it in the comments. Even on our blogs, we have white people show up wanting us to reassure them that they are good people. That is tiring for those with little to keep propping up those with much. Figure out another way to work on your self esteem, like maybe doing something to make a difference, instead of whining that you don't mean to be racist. I much prefer the ones I usually get, if they ask anything, instead of asking me to tell them that they are good people, they ask, Am I doing something wrong? What should I be doing? But I have seen this on other POC blogs and expect it as I continue blogging.

An Open Letter to Feminists of the Paler Persuasion

And lastly, it is the fact I hate when people refuse to speak out against such violence, refuse even to utter a whispered “that’s wrong,” because that’s placing some arbitrary prescriptive value on another person’s LIFE. Everyone’s life is worth the time to try to save it or at least to make it bearable. And in this case, I don’t see many people even aiming for that luxury. I don’t know if helping this cause will get you into the higher tier of super famous feministy feminism of feminine virtue, but it might bring some of these families back together. I don’t know how high the praise and appreciation will be, but I’m sure that some small children will be grateful to see their mothers again. I don’t know how you’ll fit that on your resume, but I do hope that after you work for this cause, you realize that doing good is its own reward.

But those immigrants are taking jobs away from worthy Americans

People don't put themselves at dire physical peril to come to the US because they love doing menial work for a pittance. They do it because they have to. And maybe, just maybe, we'd have a reason to complain if the US wasn't complicit in exploiting people overseas.

The White Lens

You tell me "White" is a political construction, and I agree. but it is one that has not served me well. And if you are apparently of European American descent, than it is one that has served you well.

Let's begin there.

Definition of Terms (Chapter 1)

COLORBLIND: Being COLORBLIND means you get to be WHITE and see everyone else as WHITE. However this doesn't cancel out. Being WHITE (remember) means you are the Decider. So when you are COLORBLIND and see everyone as WHITE, that doesn't mean they get to be Deciders, too. It means you get to be Decider (as is entailed in being WHITE), and it means you get to treat everyone else as if they, too, are trying to be Deciders—which, as a WHITE person, really pisses you off. But since you are COLORBLIND, you only get nasty when their Decider bumps into yours. Otherwise, we're all cool. Being COLORBLIND may seem a contradiction, but as you can see, it is very convenient. (Another small bonus of this type of being COLORBLIND is that you can still match your socks and are allowed to drive, unlike the "old" type of "colorblind" people.)

I'd like to thank the academe

Or that they'd expend more time storming someone who calls them "special interest groups" than keeping people who shed light in the dark corners of the world.

Anti-racism, race traitors, and whiteness.

White guilt is not a useful emotion. It makes us focus on shame and embarrassment, and it makes us feel yucky, and it doesn't usually prompt us to anti-racist work. So we sit there, and we either feel guilty, or we conquer that guilt by 1) insisting that the racism isn't occurring, or 2) shifting the focus away from ourselves by focusing on other people's racism.

More thoughts on racism

3. In the context of U.S. society, the system of advantage clearly operates to benefit Whites as a group. However, it is assumed that racism, like other forms of oppression, hurts members of the privileged group as well as those targeted by racism. While the impact of racism on Whites is clearly different from its impact on people of color, racism has negative ramifications for everyone. For example, some White students might remember the pain of having lost important relationships because Black friends were not allowed to visit their homes. Others may express sadness at having been denied access to a broad range of experiences because of social segregation. These individuals often attribute the discomfort or fear they now experience in racially mixed settings to the cultural limitations of their youth.

here's some white privilege for you

When I call or show up to inquire about an apartment, and I'm told it's already rented, I do not wonder if I am being lied to. I believe others are telling me the truth regarding housing availability, because:

I speak standard US English without a foreign accent.
I have an anglo name.
I do not have brown skin.

books and randomness

I don't mean white people should hate themselves for having pale skin, for something we were born with. I think we white people should sometimes hate ourselves for what we do, or don't do, in the world, for the choices we make about that white skin. In other words, we should hate whiteness and be accountable for our own complicity with whiteness. We live in a white-supremacist society and benefit from white privilege. We should hate that fact, and if we haven't done enough to change that world, well...

The Skin of My Soul [intermission]

So what do I say about someone like this? Someone who walks around wavin' tha WHITEPROGRESSIVE flag and then when he gets a chance, smacks the Brown™ in the face with it? Blames us for holding back social progress on these issues? I think "racist" doesn't do it. I don't even think the word begins to describe this attitude and behavior. I would reach into my Vulgar® bag and just say "asshole," but that doesn't get at it either. Then we are just throwing verbal punches back and forth, and truth be told, I don't care for the verbal kind. If we goan throw down, I'd rather do it in the flesh. Out here, we are supposed to be exchanging ideas. And fighting won't make anything better for anyone, anyway. Hell, after all this, I am still willing to have a real conversation with any of these people, if they feel themselves capable of approaching with some willingness and humility. Otherwise, go on with ya bad self. May you find the world you deserve.

*blank stares*

If you want to understand where young women are coming from, and you want to know what one of us (because I am a fucking young woman, no matter how much it hurts you to understand that) thinks about the world, know that from my perspective we live existences where we move from struck nerve to struck nerve. And each struck nerve is like a brick wall upon which we’re required to smash ourselves. We’re taught the lessons of necessity at an early age. Whether it’s creating a garden and selling vegetables to white town members at 12 (something my grandmother had to do), whether it’s tossing out a mandatory “I love you” to a needy yet merciless parent, whether it’s discovering that the really fun activity you want to do is off-limits because you’re not a boy or you don’t have the money or your parents/friends/relatives don’t like it or you’re not pretty/smart/fast/determined/woman enough to take it on. We’re taught to smash ourselves against it, harden our skins, and move on. When it happens again, the nerves underneath that skin are destroyed. Our brains have no recognition of the pain, so we can keep walking like robots to our next wall, hit it without compunction, and keep going.

hurt feelings

because there’s no better way for a young black feminist to drive up her stat counter than by becoming the butt of the blogosphere’s racism, is there? because that’s what gets a young black feminist off, isn’t it it–sifting through racist arrogance so that she can get more meaningless hits on a stat counter that misses have the damn visits anyway.

Because it really is a good idea...

How not to be an asshole: a guide for white people/feminists

Here we go again

And in this case, the problem is white feminists coming into POC spaces (that may or may not identify as feminist) and demanding that POC serve up their upset on a platter, in easily digested non-confrontational little pieces.

On blinkers

You know what, everyone? Shut the fuck up. Listen to what fellow feminist bloggers are telling you. They feel marginalised and ignored in a movement whose goal is equality and whose members are quite able to spot a man exercising his privilege at a thousand paces, yet somehow can’t see how a white feminist could be doing the same thing.

A little trip down memory lane

What did we say to the men who'd go off on how rude and uncivil we were? How divisive and unbending we were? How jealous and bitter we were? We told them to deal. We pointed out that dissent doesn't mean we're being rude or uncivil. We called BS on the whole rules of etiquette thing since it was often used to silence dissent and unpopular (read: feminist) opinions while allowing polite sexists to oh-so-politely posts some incredibly misogynist and bigoted trope.

I'm seeing the same dynamic here.

Cut it out.

Can you tell the difference

THERE IS A REASON WOMEN OF COLOR DON’T TRUST YOU OR YOUR MOVEMENT.

Pay attention and some day you’ll figure it out.

a guest post from bfp

In short, women of color are brought up lots and lots of times as a part of the “problem”—but we are patently ignored as “not part of the target audience” when it comes to solutions. If we were “included” in the solution of women not identifying with “feminism”—FFF would be a completely different book and feministing would be a completely different site.

Thursday, March 8, 7pm-9pm

La Peña Cultural Center
3105 Shattuck Avenue
Berkeley, CA

Prominent scholars and activists from South, Central and North America will offer insight from the front lines of feminist and LGBT movements, share their current challenges and achievements, and compare their struggles across borders and boundaries of race, gender and class.

Speakers include:
Marcela Ríos Tobar from FLACSO (Chile)
Dinora Aguiñada from Las Dignas (El Salvador) and
Alejandra Sardá from Mulabi - Espacio Latinoamericano de Sexualidades y Derechos (Argentina)

A benefit for NACLA - Celebrating 40 years!
$5-$20 donation - no one turned away

Celebrating the release of:
How Pink is the ‘Pink Tide’? Feminist and LGBT Activists Challenge the Left NACLA Report on the Americas, Volume 40 Number 2, March/April 2007

Brought to you by:
University of San Francisco’s Center for Latin@ Studies in the Americas and the North American Congress on Latin America (NACLA)

For more information, visit www.nacla.org or contact Director Christy Thornton at 646.752.5507 or cthornton@nacla.org.

(muchas gracias por la información christina!)